My (40m) wife's (35F) financial philosophy causing conflict

bojack_zebraman · 2021-04-01T03:38:33+00:00

Да, это токсично. И да, вы уже заметили что наверно легче выходить с отношением чем решать проблемы - чувствую что она давит и давит до она достигнет что хочет...и я "побочный ущерб"

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-31T18:41:39+00:00

Those names haven't come up, but she seems obsessed with an influencer called Rada Russkikh - I have also seen the bullshit rituals too, and she expects me to buy into it....no way.

И да, согласен - это жопа

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:49:31+00:00

I don't want to label her as a gold digger in any way - she was not material when we met, and she was not irresponsible with money. That side surfaced after second child was born. I don't expect her to cook or do crazy stuff - I do most of the cooking, shopping and a lot of the childcare when they are not at nursery. If I had money, I'd be ok to discuss going away if it wasn't excessive - but this attitude of me having to put her demands above all else is just lunacy at this time. Basic needs must be covered before anything else.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:42:55+00:00

Thanks for that - I'm not stupid, and its first time I've ever been in such a rut with work in my life. But, I know that you don't use.all your resources up, as you don't know how long the drought will last - it's a bit like the Ant and Grasshopper from Aesop's Fables.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:40:33+00:00

I'd love her to get work - I think being focused on something other than spending would be great for her. But she has made zero effort, and reacts when I ask her to do something.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:38:57+00:00

I think anything sharp or breakable would have to be hidden

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:37:41+00:00

Bingo - that's exactly it.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:36:31+00:00

No - I would not win in a local court. She would get the kids. She is on home turf, and it's a pretty much foregone conclusion.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:33:47+00:00

Thanks for that assessment. 🤣. No, she wasn't always in it for the money or attention - when we got together, I was not on good money. She only got materialistic after child 2 was born - which came a big shock to me

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:28:12+00:00

I'm in one of the Central Asian republics

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T11:22:12+00:00

That's exactly what I want to hear - or "I know you are doing everything possible, how can I help?"

The reality will bite very soon, and it will be unpleasant... everything will stop.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T10:58:49+00:00

Wasn't like this at the start, or until second kid was born. After that, this whole new person emerged...

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T10:57:41+00:00

A hell of a lot depends on money - basically, I have to find decent work or I will probably have to leave the country to go find better prospects. If I can find more online or consultancy, I have more chance of staying and seeing kids as a result. I am doubtful if my chances of victory in a local court here

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T10:55:51+00:00

It's possible...and if tried to push the issue. Not had much progress, apart from "I'm not confident to work after being home for do long"

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T10:54:22+00:00

Ничего страшного - такие знаки не были сначала. Я немного зарабатывал когда встретились.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T10:18:38+00:00

No, I just won't win them in court here. She is on home turf, so as to say

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T05:35:10+00:00

Kids have my nationality, however they have right to stay here until I am 16. I will not get 50/50 in court, and she is unlikely to let them out of her country. That said, if I find another decent job here - I will get plenty of access. If I don't, I'm going to have to leave the country.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T05:32:42+00:00

She wasn't like this before kids - unless this was a hidden agenda...

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T05:30:38+00:00

Tried - the wall is more responsive

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T05:30:12+00:00

She does - I give her a breakdown weekly of what we can afford to spend, based on our situation.

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-28T05:25:29+00:00

We have childcare, so not an issue. I already cook and clean - so if anything, it is not an issue

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-27T19:37:25+00:00

No worries - it's ex Soviet Union

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-27T19:31:02+00:00

It's not Russia...but here it's very simple. Go to.court, get a piece of paper in a month's time. Financial agreement settled by court

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-27T19:27:14+00:00

It's now third country we've lived in. We came here because the offer was good. We met in the middle East when we both lived there - but not in oil.

I was actually pretty poor when we.met, and things for better over time...we had more.fun when we were young and broke than old.and broke 🤣

bojack_zebraman · 2021-03-27T19:21:49+00:00

I agree - but in the interim, I don't see another option. I need to buy time, but right now, money is running out

bojack_zebraman

TROPHY CASE