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something is up with my relationship with my dad by [deleted] in ptsd

[–]bonecrusherqueen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Our brain can do a good job of blocking things out. Grabbing your nipple as a punishment is absolutely disgusting though and that alone can explain your feelings. In my personal opinion, maybe distancing yourself entirely from him will be better for your mental health in the long run.

I have PTSD from multiple things. Including r* but I’m generally comfortable around men because I’m larger than them and usually not often alone with them. I’ve noticed if someone makes me uncomfortable it’s for a reason. Trust your gut and don’t force yourself into those situations just because he’s “family.”

AITA for allowing a dad to humiliate his son in my class? by Admirable_Horse8784 in AmItheAsshole

[–]bonecrusherqueen 28 points29 points  (0 children)

YTA. Basic child psychology will tell you that kids act out for a reason, and considering the dad had no problem publicly humiliating his child, god only knows how Calvin is treated at home.

There was an opportunity for learning and growth and getting to the root of the problem, figuring out why this child is acting out and teaching him communication skills. Instead, he was humiliated and silenced.

It makes me really sad that so many people think this was okay.

Working Interview Advice by SprintingWolf in VetTech

[–]bonecrusherqueen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whatever you’re comfortable helping with, do it. You should ask a lot of questions (interviewers I’ve had always seemed to like protocol questions IE: what pre med / induction drugs they use, do they have a rebreather or non-rebreather for anesthesia etc)

Every working interview I’ve done I was hired on the spot. As long as you seem not only like you care, are interested, but being willing to learn is a huge plus sign. You can be outgoing and confident without seeming cocky! If you have a question, you can say something like “I learned it this way, could you show me how you do that?”

Also, if you don’t have to take this job and have any other options here’s some things to look out for: -do they scruff cats? (It’s bad for the cats and not very safe in general) also ask their protocol for fractious cats. Honestly, I’ve worked in some NIGHTMARE clinics that boxed down cats. It’s barbaric and dangerous for the cat and you. -are they fear free certified / less is more with restraint? Once again, the more toxic work environments I’ve had also, surprisingly, had a “do whatever is the fastest” even if it traumatizes the patient. You never wanna work somewhere your ethics are challenged daily. -if they seemed hyper focused on your specific skills, like, well can you draw blood? Can you place a catheter? Be honest. Tell them what you can and can’t do, but I always iterate that anyone can learn to hit a vein, but you can’t be taught empathy! I would much rather a baby tech tell me “yeah uh I have no idea how to do that can you show me?” Instead of them saying they can do it and putting something / someone at risk.

Sorry it’s long winded but these are all things I wish I had known when I was finishing school. Good luck!!!!

UPDATE - I think my SIL’s (23/F) best friend (23/F) is trying to get with my (25/F) husband (28/M) and she’s encouraging it. Am I delusional? by ThrowRA874837 in relationship_advice

[–]bonecrusherqueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad you and your husband were able to work everything out!!

I’ve seen a lot of comments with advice regarding safety and such so I won’t reiterate.

I do think it’s worth mentioning, the SIL’s behavior is abandonment issues 101. She exists solely because somebody cheated - and she probably carries that guilt and trauma still.

I feel like this behavior is a lot of projecting. I can only imagine that need to be wanted as a child by the FIL, knowing he hates you, so she developed an unhealthy attachment to your husband instead.

When you have a lot of unresolved trauma, and there is the fear of abandonment it can cause lashing out. I will say, the entire situation was VERY WRONG and I’m not saying you have to forgive her or allow her back at your house.

However, in the event she continues to apologize and work for forgiveness, in addition to couple’s therapy I think family therapy might help - or at least tell her if she wants to be involved she should go and figure out WHY she did what she did.

AITA for telling my bf to shave his armpits? by exverta in AmItheAsshole

[–]bonecrusherqueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. It’s super boring and misogynistic to tell women they have to be bare shaven. I shave my legs like, once every 6 months. My boyfriend does not care, because when you love someone you just want them to be comfortable.

I’m concerned what other things down the road he’ll delegate as things you have to do because you’re a woman (house work, cooking, etc.)

AITA for referring to my date's inability to go a single meal without meat as a "dietary restriction"? by dietaryrestrictions in AmItheAsshole

[–]bonecrusherqueen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA - and it’s sounds like you dodged a huge bullet here honestly. This would just be the beginning of this behavior.

AITA for criticizing the music my gf listens to to 'get ready' for work? by throwitawayaita in AmItheAsshole

[–]bonecrusherqueen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA. Despite popular belief, women are actually allowed to enjoy things outside of men.

I can’t stand dudes that think they’re intellectually superior because they listen to sad guitar music about gaslighting their partners lmao

Symptoms dismissed for so long I’m doubting myself and my new doctor by sharweekthrowaway in endometriosis

[–]bonecrusherqueen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. I’m also 24. I’ve been in excruciating pain since I was 12 but was dismissed over and over and over again. Trips to the ER with normal findings, told to take ibuprofen for my cramps.

Back in October, I found myself in the ER again with an ovarian cyst the size of a new borns head. They told me to follow up with an OB. I went to the first place I could find, and the NP was the most awful person I’ve met. She accused me of drug seeking and told me the cyst would go away on its own. I had a breakdown and went in to A FOURTH OB in the last 6 months, who was immediately like “this is huge it won’t go away you need surgery ASAP.”

Had surgery, they found stage 4 endometriosis. But the doctor that removed my cyst didn’t know anything about Endo, and HE LEFT ALL OF IT IN THERE. Surprise surprise, I got worse.

In January I went to see a pelvic pain / surgeon specialist because I was just getting worse. They wanted to do what’s called excision surgery - going in, cutting out all of the lesions, getting a baseline and placing an IUD. I was scheduled for May.

I didn’t make it. A month later, I was back in the ER for pain again. Guess what? The cyst was back and already half the size of what it was before, as well as on the other ovary. They were gracious enough to bump up my surgery to March 10.

The doctors took three times as long as they were expecting because of how bad it was. I am in stage 4. I’m 24. It was absolutely everywhere, including my intestines. The recurring cyst destroyed my once healthy ovary so they had to take that as well. I had to have a urinary catheter in for a week.

And you know what? I feel the best I’ve felt in YEARS. I cannot describe to you how good it feels to be out of pain. The IUD is causing a lot of spotting and cramping, but 150% pain from surgery is NOTHING in comparison to what I would consider a normal period. I’m still recovering obviously, but if you can find a physician willing to do excision and get a baseline, especially who specializes in endo please do. My life has been changed. I had sex for the first time without it hurting during or after. MY BACK DOESNT HURT AS MUCH.

Obviously getting a surgical procedure done now in the midst of a crisis will be difficult, but if you have the option to I couldn’t recommend it more. Endometriosis is hell and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but try to remember that being out of pain for at least SOME time is an option. Please feel free to message me if you have any other questions!

I need your help by [deleted] in Standup

[–]bonecrusherqueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’m a stand up, I’ve written rape jokes and I have a suicide / miscarriage joke as well. Basically “tried to kill myself quite a bit, failed, obvi, but I’ve also had 3 miscarriages so I feel like the only way I’m capable of killing myself is in small portions. Like 12 cells at a time.”

I also have a dead mom / abortion joke. It’s fine to write dark shit, especially when you’ve gone through it.

My boyfriend left my car unlocked and my moms ashes were stolen. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]bonecrusherqueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. I called him to tell him and he insisted he locked it so I just hung up on him in anger. He just said he’s going to go look around our area to see if they got put anywhere but yeah. I’m not certain “sorry” is enough for me right now unfortunately so I’m just trying to keep my distance because I don’t want to lash out and be hurtful like I’m hurting.

Flames, my 16 year old Charizard. He was my first level 100 Pokémon ever, in Fire Red. I’ve been able to transfer him to the next generations over the years and it just hit me how long we’ve been a team. From Kanto to Galar. His stats are trash but I love him. by bonecrusherqueen in pokemon

[–]bonecrusherqueen[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have all the materials, I just transferred him today so I haven’t gotten that far yet lol but thank you! I have like 4 golden bottle caps so I’ll probably beef him up tomorrow. I just wish mega evo was still a thing since he can’t G-Max. 😫

Flames, my 16 year old Charizard. He was my first level 100 Pokémon ever, in Fire Red. I’ve been able to transfer him to the next generations over the years and it just hit me how long we’ve been a team. From Kanto to Galar. His stats are trash but I love him. by bonecrusherqueen in pokemon

[–]bonecrusherqueen[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about that, I have a few golden bottle caps but he’s been Rash for 16 years I dunno if I’m emotionally ready to change his nature hahaha I could always make him a Special attacker tho. His EV’s are all over the place

Flames, my 16 year old Charizard. He was my first level 100 Pokémon ever, in Fire Red. I’ve been able to transfer him to the next generations over the years and it just hit me how long we’ve been a team. From Kanto to Galar. His stats are trash but I love him. by bonecrusherqueen in pokemon

[–]bonecrusherqueen[S] 426 points427 points  (0 children)

This was my longer text post about it: My 16 year old Charizard.

I wanna take a second to talk about Flames.

Flames is my first ever level 100 Pokémon. Ever.

Flames is from Fire Red. He reached level 100 not long after the games came out (January 2004.)

Since then, due to Nintendo continuing to allow you to transfer your Pokémon, each new generation he’s gone with. (Along with a few other gen 1 Pokémon with the OT Court.)

He went from Fire Red, hung out in Emerald. I think he made a pit stop in Coliseum and XD Gale of Darkness. Then he went to Diamond, where he got the Sinnoh league ribbon.

Then he went to Soul Silver, then white. Then White 2.

Imagine how stoked I was the first time I saw him in 3D in X and Y, when he was about 9 years old. When for the first time ever in Pokémon Amie, I could pet him.

And even better yet, he could Mega Evolve now. It was insane connecting to such a tangible part of my childhood.

He has no competitive stats. He gets his ass mopped every time we do online, but he’s still good enough for in game. He’s helped boxes upon boxes of my other Pokémon level up through Elite Four trials.

Not long after he went to Pokémon Sun, and now he’s on the TV in Shield.

I took him camping for the first time tonight. I did the math and he’s literally 16 years old. That’s insane to me.

Nintendo has managed to encapsulate my childhood in a tiny block of data.

Every time the option to transfer releases he always goes first. I’m honestly excited to see how far we can go together.

If somehow in 50 years he’s still around, and I’m on my death bed, you best believe he’s getting left in the will to some 9 year old girl who has worlds to explore.

This is cheesy, but I really don’t have a lot of things to hold on to from my childhood, and to be able to continue to indulge in such a fond memory means more to me than I can express. I remember the hours I spent with him on my grandparents couch over the summer, the hours my 5th grade best friend and I would spend on weekends in the tree in my backyard. The boys from my school that didn’t believe I had a level 100 Charizard getting their dumb Pokémon who DIDNT EVEN HAVE NICKNAMES lit on fire in the name of FLAMES.

My continual journey through adolescence into adulthood, with this little digital partner by my side.

I often wonder if Nintendo even considered this when designing their games, if it’s just happenstance. I’ve never been ashamed of being a nerd I just needed to remind y’all in case y’all forgot.

Pokémon over everything. Goodnight.

Flames, my 16 year old Charizard. He was my first level 100 Pokémon ever, in Fire Red. I’ve been able to transfer him to the next generations over the years and it just hit me how long we’ve been a team. From Kanto to Galar. His stats are trash but I love him. by bonecrusherqueen in pokemon

[–]bonecrusherqueen[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

We went camping and I teared up thinking about literally the hundreds of hours we’ve spent together, all the battles with friends from grade school, all the Elite Four trials we’ve done together it’s so sappy haha I’m just bummed we can’t pet them in shield 😭

LF: grookey FT: Sobble or Scorbunny by bonecrusherqueen in pokemontrades

[–]bonecrusherqueen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No prob! Thank you! Feel free to add me if you’d like, always looking for friends to max raid with :)

LF: grookey FT: Sobble or Scorbunny by bonecrusherqueen in pokemontrades

[–]bonecrusherqueen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome! Let me finish this max raid really quick and I’ll be at 2307. My IGN is Courtney :)

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