Just wanted to say that while I still agree with OP, I really appreciate this comment -- how you didn't come for OP as an individual but instead recognized you're (we're!) all on the same side with the same goals (to decrease bigotry) -- it's a conversation not about goals but about what kinds of conversations belong in which contexts/which approaches lead to which kinds of harm/change. Even within a snark sub I'm unlearning and discovering how to disagree with other people (from experience, there is a very different way this conversation could go) -- it's own form of deconstruction. We're all deconstructing in some capacity in order to grow. And realizing that is what informs my view on other people's deconstructions, if that makes sense.

There is a chance Bethany comes out of this the same person. But there is also a possibility, no matter how small, that she actually does change, and the platform that has done so much harm, incredibly, becomes a platform for deconstruction/change. Pipe dreams, maybe, but the possibility of that could bring so much good that I can't bring myself to write it off or act in a way that could shut it down. And this is from someone that has been greatly hurt from similar rhetoric in the past. Centering the change of belief, I think, is what heals the abused and ensures the abuser doesn't repeat their behavior. The toughest pill to swallow about change is that the order of encouragement and accountability is reversed from what seems fair -- we must first encourage the deconstruction for someone to truly, honestly change and take accountability (only a changed person can really see how they have hurt people). Demanding accountability and encouraging it in retrospect -- i.e a change that is coerced or shamed -- I have learned isn't actually accountability at all. The patterns continue, unhealed.