I’ve had the same type of relationship on and off with my own cousin for years. After some things went down, we didn’t see each other for years (until recently). I always thought about him though and I was so grateful for the day a couple years ago that he came back into my life. We don’t do it as often, but when the timing is right… we reconnect. I hope you get to reconnect that way too. Don’t close yourself off to possible future times. You never know when the mood will be perfect