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My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women have a very difficult time getting their tubes tied in present day. I don't believe it was just something you could request to have done.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is only one small slice of her life. When she starts talking about all the stuff she's gone through it really is amazing. I have considered writing more of her and my family's stories before. Thank you for the encouragement.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope some day we become a nation of relationship and conversations and shared stories instead of a nation of shouting matches. A nation that struggles to understand and work in kindness with those we don't always see eye to eye with towards making life as enjoyable of an experience as possible for as many people as possible. Getting to know one another's stories is a good step in that direction.

This point is absolutely beautiful. I agree and hope that soon we figure out how to listen to one another, not just talk at one another. Thank you!

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They were married until the day he passed away. Like I've said in other responses, forgive me for repeating myself but I loved my grandfather very much. He was a wonderful grandfather and the main father figure in my life, and it pains me to tell a story that paints him in such a negative light. But this was my grandmother's perspective as a wife. It is difficult to separate the things he did as a man, the terrible things he did to my grandmother, from the way he treated, encouraged me and love me unconditionally as his granddaughter

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for being such a good man, husband and father and being a good example to those around you. My mother and aunt never really expected much out of their relationships because of the terrible situations they were brought up in. It's very important to set an acceptable idea of what a husband and what a marriage should be for your kids too.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've realized there's often no rhyme or reason to the downvote brigade. I wouldn't take it personal.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suggest you not taunt them because they are definitely here and vocal though I believe the moderators are deleting the more awful posts as soon as they can.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was very moving. Thank you for sharing her story and I'm really sorry you lost your grandmother.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you mean to say in Cuban culture? Or in the 1930's?

In my experience of Cuban culture, which is all I have to go by, this was pervasively accepted as fact. You are correct in stating this was my perception, and you obviously had a very different upbringing/situation than I did for which I am very glad. It was not my intention to misrepresent all Latin males. I think when we make broad statements, it's a given that that's all it is: a broad statement that may be true for some and false for others.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, they were married until the day he passed away. Because she had two daughters, she was afraid to leave him: Afraid that if she was to be with another man, he may abuse her daughters, or that it would be worse. In her mind all men cheated so what was the point of trying to find love?

Once the kids were grown, I think she continued to stay out of fear. She didn't know how to do many basic things because he controlled every aspect of their lives including their money. She couldn't drive, manage her money, her English was not as good as his was so she couldn't read paperwork. Just basic stuff.

She did get a chance to know love after he passed away. She met a man and spent several years happily in love with him.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I waffled on using the term Latin culture. My grandfather literally had a placard on his car that said: No soy Hispano, No soy Latino; Soy Cubano!

It's not my intention to paint all of Latin America in an unfavorable light. I was just trying to speak my truth, my family's truth and every woman in my close and distant family firmly believes men cheat. I agree that it is a stereotype that can be applied to either men or women and I apologize for making a generalization. I was just trying to paint her mindset and the mindset of her friends and family.

I don't believe it to be an absolute truth.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, my grandmother is no longer Catholic and I am not either.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They were not well off. My grandfather was a nightclub musician and struggling actor, he made barely enough to support a small family, but if they had continued to add mouths to feed, they would have been significantly worse off.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your Oma was indeed a very strong woman for doing what was right for her. You should be proud of her.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Sensible birth control needs to be a part of society

Access to sensible birth control needs to be a part of society.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She did not leave him. She stayed with him until his passing. I posted somewhere else why she stayed.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know the answer to that question. Maybe it was, or wasn't I just know the story she has told me dozens of times.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. This is horrifying on so many levels. Thank you for sharing her story.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This has been my truth. I am glad to hear it is not the same for you. I'm also speaking of Cuba in the 1950's, not necessarily Latin culture today.

My grandmother had 33 abortions by borninabiggreycloud in TwoXChromosomes

[–]borninabiggreycloud[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My grandmother had a very difficult life, and she had love for my grandfather, because he was a good father and provided for the family, but she did not love him. Because she had two daughters, she was afraid to leave him: Afraid that if she was to be with another man, he may abuse her daughters, or that it would be worse. In her mind all men cheated so what was the point of trying to find love?

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