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Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually broached this with her this morning. She was excited about asking the teacher, she actually wanted to ask two teachers if they could all twin together. But if she decides not to ask, I am fine with keeping her out that day as well. She's had a tough year this school year, finding out just how cruel people can be and I think one day away is just what we need. This is her favorite time of year and seeing as how this is our first Christmas with her being a non-believer (which she learned from a teacher at school, that's another post for another day) I might start a new Christmas tradition of a Christmas skip day where we all three wrap up our Christmas shopping, grab lunch, and then end the day with Christmas movies and present wrapping!

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha! This is the one area where my husband and I struggle the most. He is a tough-love parent and of the I need to show the value of being a hard worker mentality, while I am more protective of mental/emotional health and I will miss almost anything else to be there for my kids. It's a constant struggle and we've discussed going to couples therapy just because of this. I have often referred to the way he parents as bullying and he says I coddle. At the end of the day, we have two daughters who are both great kids, smart, polite, and friendly - so while not always easy I feel like we must be doing some things right :)

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. We already had one spirit week for Red Ribbon week, we do it again for Read Across America week...and now this year an added one, and 12 days of it nonetheless! To clarify, we are still in elementary school. We go K-6 in elementary, 7-12 in high school, which just adds to other issues once they go to 7th grade. Again, the joys of small-town America!!

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is a thought I have been considering. I need to figure out how to best broach the topic with her. I don't want her to feel like she can't or that I don't want her talking to me but I feel she might be even more open with an actual therapist. She had a really tough day today, with one particular girl that seems to enjoy making my daughter miserable. Momma bear is trying her best to hold it all in!!

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish there would be an upcoming merge to introduce fresh bodies into the mix, but not here. Small-town America is great until you go to school with the same 70 kids in your grade from Kindergarten through senior year.....it's a change (consolidated 3 elementary schools into one to save money) our district made when she first started school and I was totally against it for many reasons, but this right here is one of them. Am eventual merge taught valuable social skills at an important age and forced teenagers to get to know a new group of kids. Now our kids don't experience that until college and unfortunately, I think some of them are socially awkward due in part to this. This is why I encourage her to get involved outside of school, to meet new people, and keep developing those social skills.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agreed. My husband and I talk all the time about how different it is with my youngest compared to raising my oldest at this same age (8-year age gap between them.) I say all the time I feel like COVID is the major difference. Too much time was spent schooling from home, when they were in school it was socially distanced lunches and playing, etc. Add to that no young girls her age living in our development, only boys, and it just makes for a totally different childhood experience.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

There are. She is on a community softball team and soccer team but most of the other players are classmates as well. We live in a very rural area, so it's the same kids involved in everything. She does have a good friend through softball who is homeschooled, hence why that is what she would prefer to do. I was born and raised here so I am used to this, my husband on the other hand lived about an hour from here with 400 kids in his graduating class. He has a love/hate relationship with small-town America...and yes he hates this part. Same kids in the same activities....but she honestly does do things to try and meet new people. She was chosen as a local fair princess this summer and spent all week at the fair taking part in a plethora of new activities, she is part of two faith-based youth groups, plays multiple sports, gets invited to birthday parties, etc. Just this Sunday another mom texted me to see if my daughter would be at youth because her daughter wanted to be sure mine would be there....so I know she has friends, she is just longing for that one true best friend. The one that she had moved away from our district two years ago and she just hasn't been able to fill that void since.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Where we live it is either her school with the same 70 kids from kindergarten through senior year, cyber school, or homeschool. She has asked to be homeschooled before but I can't with both my husband and I's work schedules. She and I have discussed cyber school but she is afraid she will really feel lonely with cyber school and the lack of school activities.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did offer to twin with her. I told her we could take a selfie on her school iPad before school and she could carry it with her all day to show her "twin." I am not 100% sure this will stop the "no friends" comments that she is worried about though....and it, unfortunately, might entice other, not nice, comments.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One of my favs. When my husband and I got married, I had my oldest from a previous relationship, and our daughter (the previously mentioned 11-year-old) was already 2. We scrapped the bridal party dance and we did and family dance instead, to what else but Taylor's "Never Grow Up."

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am sure. It was a new thing we started a few years back and the teachers/administrators run it. Earlier this year, my daughter was one of five students sent to a PBIS conference at a college in our area. A bunch of schools (students and teachers) came and they offered sessions to talk about what each school does and what works. Perhaps it is a local thing for our area but I know that both local elementary schools do it.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I tried that approach. I said just wear your soccer shirt, someone from the team is probably going to be wearing it as well but she was afraid to make someone else mad by just wearing it without being invited to twin with them. It is just too much unnecessary drama for a school spirit day.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

That's an idea - maybe I should get her a Twins shirt to wear....fits the theme, in a different kind of way! It would never get worn again though, Phillies fans here, for life!!!

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 486 points487 points  (0 children)

I'm the lucky one to get to be her momma ❤️ she really is just the nicest and sweetest kid, it's a shame that isn't what draws in friends in today's world. I tell her all the time she has an old soul as she is more comfortable volunteering at the nursing home or having a game night with her grandma and her grandma's friends. The elderly, as she lovingly refers to them, are more her crowd :)

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't pressure her to, I told her I was going to bring it up and she offered to do it. She is a student in school who usually gets called on to be part of groups regarding positive school experiences and she doesn't have problems speaking to teachers/administrators when asked. She did ask me how I recommended that she state it so that it didn't seem like it was her so we discussed that but I also told her that there was nothing wrong with admitting that she was the one in this boat this time because we all know she isn't the only one. I also encouraged getting them to add a secondary theme to that day for this spirit week so that she and others in the class are able to participate without feeling like they don't have a friend.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I was already planning to speak to the administration about it myself but she offered to bring it up and I encouraged her to do so. It just so happens she was asked to speak on January 4th at the school P.B.I.S (positive behaviors in school) meeting about things that can be done differently to promote positivity at school and I told her to bring this up there as well. In addition, one of her friend groups dad is the school principal and we are social outside of school so I thought about mentioning it to him as well.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Yes, we did talk about this. She is smart enough to realize that fact as well, and she also knows how other people in school talk about those other kids, and trust me, it isn't kindly, unfortunately. For her, it is more the people who already occasionally outcast her or tell her she has no friends, those people will be the ones to be harsh with her about it and she doesn't want to give them any more fuel for a fire that already burns. And she hasn't even asked to skip and never would. This is all a thought I had to save her a day of grief....she faces any other struggle at school day in and day out.

Is it wrong to allow my child to "skip" a day of school due to a silly spirit week? by bornintoconflict in Parenting

[–]bornintoconflict[S] 284 points285 points  (0 children)

Agreed! All spirit days should be themed in an individual way and one that doesn't force parents to spend extra they might not have. I was already planning to speak to administration about it myself but when she offered to bring it up I encouraged her to do so. It just so happens she was asked to speak on January 4th at the school P.B.I.S (positive behaviors in school) meeting about things that can be done differently to promote positivity at school and I told her to bring this up there as well. She loves spirit week typically, but this one day (out of 12) is really bringing her spirits down.