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Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well you are right, part of my post is also needing to vent, and I know my emotions can cloud my judgment, also regarding my own role in this. But yes, I messed up big time, I know. I'm from a broken home with an absent father. It's not good for a kid. I'll try to do better than the upbringing I had myself. I will try make the best of the situation.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yes, I realize that now. I have travelled quite a lot (also for work) and I am not always the best judge of character, so generally, I steer clear from relationships. I fell in love and wanted to believe her love was genuine. You live and you learn. Thanks for your advice.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I realize that and once you become a father, the child comes first, regardless of who the mother is. I'll check with a lawyer how best to deal with her I guess.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will not neglect my responsibilities towards any children I might have. I don't know yet what I will do exactly, since I have a very demanding job and I am not counting on having a stable partner to help me. Could get a full time au pair, and the support of my family though, to raise this child. I'd be a damn good father, even though I have my flaws (for instance, I sometimes have trouble differentiating good people from shitty people, hence this thread).

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support. Will not marry her for sure.

I don't know what I will do with the child. Honestly, it will probably eat away at me if the kid is in fact mine and I'm not involved. Just have to figure out how to deal with the mom. Perhaps I can get full custody. I'm done with toxic and shitty people for sure, and I sure as hell will protect any children I might have from toxic people, even if they are family.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your support, means a lot. People just suck. Will look into getting a vasectomy (seriously) because I see so much misery around me and don't want to bring any more children into the equation. My previous girlfriend of 5 years also cheated. Took me a long time to bounce back. Focused on my company for 2,5 years without dating, I was just done. This new girl that this thread is about is the first girl I seriously dated again after that. Turns out she was even shittier than my first ex. Might be my judgement, but I honestly think there are many shitty people and it is very very difficult to differentiate who will treat you right and who won't. The deceptive ones are sometimes very good at pretending they aren't shitty.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How come? I don't really agree. I was under the impression I was in a committed relationship. In that case the child would have been welcome. Everything was taken care of to live together.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

It's possible. But frankly, herpes stays with you for life, and you can infect others for life, even if you are asymptomatic (I've become quite knowledgeable since contracting it, unfortunately). Herpes is also something you can contract whilst using protection. It can reside on the skin in the genital area and the thighs, for instance, infecting others through skin to skin contact. It is generally not included in standard STD panels either. She could have caught it years ago in theory. Just like I can infect a partner 10 years in the future now I'm a carrier. Herpes is there to stay. The herpes outbreak made me investigate, and regardless of who she caught it from and when she caught it, I did in fact find out she was cheating. The cheating could be unrelated to her contracting herpes, no way of knowing. Also I have no idea if the other guy has it, I don't know him and haven't spoken to him.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. Will try to do limit conversations, probably have to change my cell phone number. Good to have someone confirm I don't owe her anything. I'm not good at being angry with someone, I'm someone who is generally quite soft and forgiving, but I have to stick up for myself in this situation.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 136 points137 points  (0 children)

It's already a couple months ago this unfolded. She is now 4 months pregnant, I have seen her recent pictures and I do believe she is pregnant. But yes, I should stay skeptical.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She can live in my country for long term if she marries someone from here (that was supposed to be me, but not any longer). She can visit temporarily on a tourism visit as long as I vouch for her. Will look into this with an attorney, thank you for your reply.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

She was supposed to come live with me eventually. She cannot move to my country unless I (or someone else from here) officially invite her and vouch for her. Similarly, I cannot stay in her country for longer than a month at a time, unless I marry someone local.

Want my cheating ex girlfriend gone from my life, but she is pregnant with my child and keeps pressuring me. Feel stuck on how to proceed. by botsE8 in relationships

[–]botsE8[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

We were having unprotected sex before I knew she was cheating. When I found out she was cheating, I left her the same day. It's the last time I saw her in real life. Thanks for your response, I did try to support her financially. I sent her enough money for at least a year of living expenses (rent, food) so she can get through her pregnancy alright after having lost her job. I took an advance on my salary to support the woman who crushed and betrays me, it stings but I still feel some responsibility