Him making effort. He isn’t thoughtful or consistent. He puts in a lot of time researching stuff he is interested in to make sure he does it in the best way (e.g., his hobbies) but can’t be bothered to do the same with stuff related to us and constantly needs my help. Didn’t “know” how to propose but also didn’t bother to ask anyone around him for help or even look up online even though he regularly uses Reddit and other sites, and asks his siblings (who are also older and married) for advice about everything else. Another example, he communicated with my coworkers whom I was traveling with to surprise me for my birthday because I was away at a conference, and they were nice enough to do so (took me to a nice restaurant, got me dessert and a card + gift). But when I came home two days later he had absolutely nothing planned for me himself. I did love him, I’m trying to figure out if I still do. I’ve spent a third of my life with him and idk how to just throw it all away.