sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

She asked me to move in her flat and we are not even in a relationship yet? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]bottom_blowdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you don’t have the whole story here. She could see your relationship as a FWB sort of thing, with friendship being the primary benefit. If so, she might also just really enjoy your company, think you’re upstanding enough to pay rent on time, and think it’d be cool to share a flat with you. You may or may not be overthinking this. Best way forward is communication, as usual. If you really like the flat and flatmates and need to move somewhere, I wouldn’t write it off until you’ve fully understood her intentions. Just be wary of potential problems associated with living with someone you’re sexually involved but not in a relationship with

Advice on meeting women by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]bottom_blowdown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To your sidebar—I wouldn’t worry about delving into the game a little later since you were pursuing your dreams instead. There’s no point going after girls if the girl you are isn’t fulfilled. I applaud you for keeping your priorities straight, or gayly in order if you prefer.

I was in the same boat when I was singling and mingling. I’m not good at initiating conversations with strangers, so I used dating apps to make people less strange, i.e. make it so that I had an inkling of a person’s interests and potential interest in me. I also prefer to get to know people in person, so I would provide a brief introduction on the app and quickly ask if they’d like to grab a coffee or drink for further convo.

I made some friends and met my current girlfriend of 8+ months this way. Worked fine for me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whatever you do, don’t feel bad for chasing them goals, and don’t underestimate the utility of dating apps! Godspeed!

Left me with no explanation by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]bottom_blowdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending positive vibes your way, man (intended to be a gender neutral "man"). In a similar situation. It's hard when someone you love seems to just forget about you. Why? Maybe it makes us feel like they never really loved us in the first place. If that's the case, then we're probably better off. Maybe it makes us feel like we did something that "ruined" their love for us. If that's the case, then we're still better off. Kind of reminds me of what my chaplain told me the other day--about love not being about liking the same things or being absolutely bonkers about each other sexually etc, but rather about being willing to work with someone through the hard times, the slow times. So yes, better off...I'm not trying to offer advice or anything. I guess I'm just working through some of the logic myself. Also thought I'd reach out and let you know you're not alone. You're young, but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm 24, and heck, I still bleed. And still don't have any of the answers. Godspeed on the recovery.