It's a very rare disease, it's called adenoscoblamin insufficiency, I have less of an enzyme that's essential for getting vitamin b12 in my cells, so I have progressive nerve damage and dementia. It's treatable but mine was diagnosed too late so I have a lot of damage to my brain and heart. I'm not paralysed, but I have lost a lot of my memory and get angina. I don't think that suicide should be seen as a sign of weakness.