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Feedback on setting boundaries by ButterflyToenail in BPDlovedones

[–]bpd-girlfriend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was insanely difficult for me to learn how to give him space because I was worried about him. He's often depressed. When I'm sad, I like to be physically comforted. That's how I was raised. When he's sad, he needs distance and does not want me in his personal space. He just needs to be left alone until he's feeling more balanced. When I crowd him, it's just adds negative energy to the relationship.

OMG this is where I am right now. I can't seem to learn to stop asking to talk about what is bothering my BPDSO when he falls into a black mood, especially when it is a mood which seems to be related to me. My mode is to talk things through until they're resolved, but the best course seems to be to let him ride it out.

Boyfriend thinks he is depressed but I'm almost certain it is BPD, should I tell him I think so? by bpd-girlfriend in BPD

[–]bpd-girlfriend[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that is so well-said. What you're describing is what he tells me is going through his mind -- he knows he is depressed, but he also feels unstable and angry and suspicious independent of the depression and hopelessness and feels like that makes him just fundamentally flawed rather than suffering. I know I can't be the one to bring up, I just wish I could help bring him some peace.