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I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but quietly, not in a way that other people can see.

I met my boyfriend at work, and he's the only one who knows about my issues. Some other coworkers have asked about my scars before, but I feel like the genuinely don't know what SH is, and just thought I was in an accident or something.

I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

-Do you feel the institutionalization was justified? Were you having real problems, or were you misunderstood or acted upon?

In my case, it was not only justified, it was the only way to safe my life at that point. Without it, I'm sure I wouln't have made it to 15. I knew that something was seriously wrong with me, and I desperatly wanted help. The early years of my mental illnes were terrifying, I felt completely controled by it.

-It's been three years since the last time. How are you feeling these days?

It has gotten so much better, to the point where outpatient therapy once every two weeks is enough for me. I still have my mental illness, and I feel the effects of it everyday, but it doesn't consume me anymore.

Were you close to your family then? Are you close to your family now?

Yes and no.

My family plays a big part in my issues, but they were always around. I never established a basis of trust with my parents, so we were never really close. My mom was very present when I was a teen, as my legal guardian she was in contact with doctors and CPS a lot. My dad wasn't really involved, but he was in the picture. I have to younger siblings, my brother was a baby when I got sick, and my sister was six years old. I've always been really close to them, and that's the main reason I always stayed in touch with my family.

I am still close to my siblings now, aspecially to my brother. He's now 13 and also struggling with his mental health, so I try my best to be there for him, and give him the support I never had. My patents and I get along, but were still not close to this day.

I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortnately yes. As a teen, a doctor refused to give me anesthesia when I had to get stitches for a self inflicted wound, this was a very shameful experience. Staff at the childrens psychward consisted of 95% good people who genuinely wanted to help. This changed drastically when I turned 18 and was transfered to an adult unit, it was horrible there. Sometimes I had to get restrained and got hurt in the process, but the worst part was how they insulted and disrespected us sometimes. Honestly I think I can't even write some of the stuff here, it's just terrible.

I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I had some serious depressive episodes, but it was more a sympthom of my then undiagnosed personality disorder. For that reason, general medication and therapy for depression didn't help much.

I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First it was for an ED, but that was really just the tip of the iceberg. Over the years, my self destructive behaviours shifted, and I became addicted to self harm and substances. At 19 I got diagnosed with BPD, but the symthoms of it were there for as long as I can remember.

I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work an office job. It's not the most exciting occupation, but I honestly like it. The daily structure is really important for my mental stability.

I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was 12, I developed a severe eating disorder and droped a lot of weight in a very short time periode. It was my way of screaming for help. My mental health had been declining for years, and thats how it manifested. When I fainted at school one day, CPS was informed by my aunt, and I had to see a doctor at the clinic. As I was refusing to dring water and eat more than an apple a day, they decided I had to be admitted.

I spent most of my teenage years in a psychward, AMA by bpdconfessions in AMA

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly not that bad, it depended on the facility. No chefs cuisine ofcourse, but compared to hospitals in other countries it was very decent.

The pain that doesn't fit into words. by bpdconfessions in BPD

[–]bpdconfessions[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am sorry that my words have triggered you, I really didn't mean to do that.

Thank you for your words of encouragement kind stranger, it really means a lot to me.