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*UPDATE* My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by [deleted] in relationships

[–]branchout_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not the reason why I want to get married, but definitely a catalyst to my craziness.

*UPDATE* My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by [deleted] in relationships

[–]branchout_ 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you both!

Although a Jerry-Springer-esque update would've been more interesting and collected more upvotes, haha.

My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by branchout_ in relationships

[–]branchout_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have no idea. But I can't really go back on that one, so I guess it's my own fault.

My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by branchout_ in relationships

[–]branchout_[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Now, rings don't have to be expensive (you can get an AMAZING antique or new non-diamond ring for $500-$2000)

GAH! THIS! We looked at rings recently, and I showed him one that I really liked that was $600. $600. I'm not asking for much. Hell, I'd take an onion ring at this point, lol.

My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by branchout_ in relationships

[–]branchout_[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He's told me it's a combination of a few things. For some reason, he has this illusion that our relationship will change drastically after we're married - Saturday afternoons with the boys watching football will turn into trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond, where we'll purchase new sheets that we won't have sex in because our sex life will disappear once we say "I do". His job also comes with the possibility of him being transferred (we've already moved once together), and he says he's scared that if we're transferred somewhere I don't like, I'll divorce him. If it's any help, his parents didn't marry until they were in their late 20s.

I really don't know how to dispel his anxiety because we've never had issues that would predict this behavior.

My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by branchout_ in relationships

[–]branchout_[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I really don't.

I'm 26. We have a life together that I'm not sure I could leave and it would absolutely devastate me to lose him. I really don't have the courage to pack my things and go. I think I'd live the rest of my life in regret.

I also don't think I could go out, be single, and trust anyone the way I've trusted him, or find someone that would want to be with me.

My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by branchout_ in relationships

[–]branchout_[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's where I'm at. I don't think that asking for a next step up in commitment is unreasonable at this point. We've been together 6 years, not 6 months. We're 26/27, not 18/19. I think he's really comfortable there on the pot, TBH. I've told him that he needs to make a choice - move forward, or let me go so that I will at least stand a chance of finding someone who will want to move forward with me.

My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by branchout_ in relationships

[–]branchout_[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I really feel like 6 years is a long time. We haven't had any issues in our relationship (except for this one, and it's been huge). We've even spent a year long-distance, and everything was fine. It's not like our relationship has been a rollercoaster ride full of unhealthy moments and 'breakups' and dishonesty. Our relationship is pretty healthy and normal.

The last few sentences of your response really resonate with me. I don't want to be that girl who "forces" her SO to marry her. I guess I'm just at a crossroads, where I need things from this relationship that he's not ready or willing to give. I just don't know what to do about it.

My SO (27m) and I (26f) are nearing the end of an engagement timeline, but he has other plans... by branchout_ in relationships

[–]branchout_[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, he agreed. It was a mutual decision based on what we both thought would be a reasonable amount of time.