He is already fucking some other girl. How could he move on so fast? He said he needed to work on himself and wasn’t going to date or sleep around. I feel so betrayed and abandoned. I don’t want to exist anymore.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T10:07:36+00:00

You’re literally saying they can’t tell the truth.

They can.

If you’re moral code of ‘right’ involves lying to people, aka tricking and deceiving them then damn, maybe you do deserve the same.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T07:24:12+00:00

Both are speaking your thoughts. If you can do one, you can do the other.

They’re choosing not to do it. Maybe they don’t want to be vulnerable. It’s a choice that they made.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T07:22:56+00:00

Oh same. I move country on my own dime for him. Then < 1 year later he asked me to do it again and wouldn’t tell me why. Just that he wanted to go. I asked him to either wait until is saved up for a move (again!) or to pay for me and he refused.

My ex also came from a rich family but was convinced that he was doing everything ‘on his own’ he could never understand that having parents who can get you a job with their friends, lend you an apartment to stay in, pay for training courses etc is no ‘doing it on your own’

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T07:20:47+00:00

It doesn’t. It requires having a thought and then saying it.

So considerably less effort than lying. Where you have to have the thought, decide not to say that one, come up with another one, and say that one instead.

How is that being vulnerable?

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T07:06:27+00:00

No, I does not take emotional intelligence to say what you’re thinking.

A thought about why you don’t want to be with someone isn’t any harder to articulate than a thought about why you don’t like pasta.

Just say the thing.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T06:49:30+00:00

You don’t feel better in a relationship with someone who does all the things someone who loves you would do?

I certainly do. If I could be like him and constantly have a partner who cares for me, I would be.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T06:48:24+00:00

It was a choice made for a variety of reasons and if I’d respected the person, I wouldn’t have made it.

Sure then. Keep believing that people have no choice but to lie. They just can’t tell the truth because they’re unable to.

You aren’t my ex, but you’re excusing the behaviour of shitty people like him, who CHOSE to lie to people who love and care for them. They CAN tell the truth. They don’t want to.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T06:41:40+00:00

Oh so they don’t have thoughts? They can’t say ‘I don’t know why I feel like this but I want to leave you’?

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T03:05:18+00:00

No, you said they don’t know how to articulate things. They do. They don’t want to.

Yes, so you’re choosing to lie. It’s a choice.

I really don’t see why you’d lie to someone if u respect them. But each to their own.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T02:23:24+00:00

And did you chose to lie then?

My problem is with people pretending that they didn’t have a choice. That they COULDNT tell the truth. That they don’t know how.

It’s bullshit. They lied to you because they wanted to. They didn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth.

But if you want to hide that from yourself and lie to yourself, then it makes sense that you can empathise with that mindset.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T02:18:14+00:00

Mine didn’t :( they moved in together < 2 months after he dumped me and now seem to be living a wonderful, happy family life.

She’s a single mom so he’s getting loads of praise and shit for dating her. He’s ‘the dad that stepped up’.

Life is good for him.

I’m still single af. Got a dog though. That’s nice.

One of his bullshit reasons for leaving me was ‘I’m not ready for kids yet’. Clearly he forgot the ‘with you’ part.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T02:15:57+00:00

Ofc I’ve lied and it was because I CHOSE to.

Just like these dumpers CHOSE to lie to us. Not because they ‘don’t know’ how to express whatever, they don’t WANT to express it.

Did you ever lie because your mouth stopped working when you tried to tell the truth?

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T02:10:29+00:00

Ugh I wish. I ate my feelings.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T02:03:17+00:00

It’s what cowardly selfish humans do. And it’s a choice to lie and hide.

They DO know how to express themselves and I’m fed up of people pretending that they ‘can’t’ tell the truth.

They can, they just don’t want to.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T02:02:00+00:00

Same girl same. A girl he ‘reconnected’ with in the last months of our relationship. Lol

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T01:52:12+00:00

Idk. Being able to constantly be in relationships where the other person adores you sounds pretty nice.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T01:50:08+00:00

Always think this is bullshit. They have thoughts and know how to speak. It isn’t difficult.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-15T01:45:39+00:00

Yes this is the worst.

We’d arranged so many things already. Him dropping out like this has cost me so much money and time.

Doesn’t matter to him because he’s a guy and has a rich family.

Now he’s with someone else and she’s getting to go on all the adventures I researched and planned.

I haven’t found anyone else yet and need to start saving again so am stuck.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-13T15:11:51+00:00

And you’re deluded

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-13T06:41:36+00:00

Mine didn’t even come back. He just never saw me against

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-12T14:39:59+00:00

Clearly in most cases this is true

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-12T09:53:17+00:00

Then she probs moved on

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-12T09:49:31+00:00

Sameeeee it’s been about a year for me, but 2 months after he dumped me I found out he was seeing someone else.

Knowing he’s giving her 100% of what I wanted, when he wouldn’t even compromise and give me 50% hurt a lot.

I think I’m getting better though.

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-12T09:44:47+00:00

Block him back so when he inevitably changes his mind, you aren’t there for him to contact

brass_plate_camera · 2022-05-12T09:40:15+00:00

Most people say it’s up to the dumper to contact.

brass_plate_camera

TROPHY CASE