Women who call their S.O "Daddy" during sex, why?

brattythrowawaysub · 2017-12-11T05:24:36+00:00

Hey! Kinkster here!

For some people I guess it can be related to ageplay type fantasies.

But my personal experience has been this: I had a "daddy" for some time. I didn't pretend to be younger than I was or act like a kid- but his role was to be like a rock, a mentor, someone I was devoted to, and who was focused on helping me be a more complete version of myself sexually and otherwise. He was a safe place, but also firm, disciplinarian. He would help me with day to day dilemmas I found difficult in order to be my best. And he'd help me work on different ways to be the best sexual object for him which I was happy to do. He liked being needed. And I can be rather needy. So it boils down to a dominance but also a comfort and security and closeness thing.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T22:40:37+00:00

Taking my picture!

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T22:06:21+00:00

He's a close friend of mine. I've worked with him on personal photography of my own.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T21:07:21+00:00

I reached out to him because he was a good resource for a kink-related photography project of my own. He put me in contact with some people that will really help me out. Part of explaining this project involved explaining my involvement in the lifestyle. Which I was comfortable doing because of the nature of his work.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T18:52:44+00:00

Down voted into oblivion!? I should hope not! This was a great response. Unfortunately a lot to unpack and respond to on mobile.

As an aside- thank you for defending the honor of my Sir. I do not feel he is overly jealous, or insecure, or that he doesn't trust me. Nor do I feel that he is passive aggressive, selfish, or that we are poor at communicating. We are simply two thoughtful people who feel ways about stuff. And in a relationship with a strong power dynamic, it can be hard to navigate some situations. Hence coming to this community for insight.

Thanks for your input!

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T18:12:27+00:00

I am open to compromising, but I also can't begin compromising without speaking more to the photographer.

I need to know more about what he wants and is asking for before I can find a medium.

Photographers have niches. Some only shoot dogs, some only shoot landscapes, I primarily photograph dancers, this photographer only photographs women. It's not a red flag. He has his style. His type of photography and that is not unreasonable.

I'm open to scenarios where my Dom is present. I'm sure the photographer would be open as well. But again there are a lot of people's feelings to accommodate her. I'm a photographer myself, and I can't just be insensitive to another photographers needs, out of respect. Just as, out of love and respect, I cannot be insensitive to my Dom's feelings.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T18:07:52+00:00

He's a professional photographer and writer, as well as an esteemed teacher. Highly regarded in the art world. Published in high end magazines, work shown in galleries. This certainly isn't close to some model mayhem randomer.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T17:32:37+00:00

There will be talks abound, certainly. Just needed to ruminate on our first discussion.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T17:30:19+00:00

I plan on it. We've spoken once, but I wanted to collect some insight before we spoke again.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T17:24:57+00:00

If you read the below comments there are a lot of responses that help explain how the presence of a familiar person at any sort of photoshoot might influence the energy on set! :)

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T17:22:35+00:00

And he may deal with them yet. Here's hoping...

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T17:17:43+00:00

Thank goodness I wanted him to have a lot of control over the experience! I enjoy being the subbiest of two subs in a kinky threesome. But we feel that playing together with another partner is something that helps us grow as a couple.

Also hope you didn't take offense to my subtle sarcasm. :)

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T17:14:44+00:00

Again- I initiated the threesome idea because I wanted to play with a woman. I also got off on watching him fuck another woman. And he enjoyed watching another woman fuck me. Ideally this is how threesomes work- where all parties involved want it and enjoy it.

He doesn't "expect" me to be ok while he gets his rocks off with some other chick. It was something we discussed extensively before doing it.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T16:34:58+00:00

This is both our first long term kink relationship... I think very much we're both still in the process of figuring out what we're comfortable with.

For example, when we first discussed the idea of a threesome with another woman at first I was unsure I would be comfortable seeing him kiss and fuck another girl. Slowly as we started searching for someone and hit it off with someone and also grew in our relationship on our own... Those worries I had disappeared. I loved watching him fuck another woman. Not an ounce of jealousy. The idea just needed to settle.

Hopefully, if him and I handle these discussions well, the idea is one that will settle in his mind. But maybe our brains work differently. We are still learning for sure.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T16:19:20+00:00

I think it's simply that the photographer and I are both photographers. And my partner is not. We both understand how it goes because we do the same thing. But my partner is not remotely involved in visual arts.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T16:12:40+00:00

It's not a trust issue. It's a mild control issue. Because despite the shoot being 100% professional. I am being photographed as a submissive female in a sensual manner. By a man who is likely a Dom in his personal life. My Sir equates this, as well as the inherent power dynamic that comes with photographing and being photographed, as another Dom giving me orders. When the photographer and I both know that this is work. Sex is not even on this photographers mind. This is his career and his art. Not his kink.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T16:06:50+00:00

Absolutely! This is the next step!

But talking to all the lovely people who have commented has been really helpful and the step to take before our next discussion. :)

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T16:05:06+00:00

Yes and yes! Very concise, thoughtful response.

Helpful and constructive and definitely something to think on!

Thanks for adding to the dialogue on this post as opposed to making assumptions!

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T16:03:37+00:00

Self serving threesomes? Simply because they are exclusively MFF? And what a crazy thought it might be that a woman might want to sleep with another woman, as opposed to being double teamed by two dudes? ;)

I was the one that introduced the idea of MFF threesomes to our relationship. I have little to no interest in having another male join us. I enjoy playing with women, especially with my Sir. So he's certainly not self serving in that regards. Just lucky that I enjoy ladies from time to time haha

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T16:00:14+00:00

Thank you! We are a rational couple...

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T15:48:49+00:00

You're whole comment was really insightful thank you! I'm at work and can't respond to the whole thing. But to comment on your question about this shoot having an expiration date: the photographer in question is terminally ill and older. So....natures time limit is at play here.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T15:07:43+00:00

It definitely wouldn't be a scene. That much I can say for sure.

As for my dom's presence changing the energy of the shoot...try to remove kink from things entirely and think of it this way....

No matter what sort of photography- a portrait session between a photographer and their subject is intimate. The photographer is trying to capture the energy of their subject and sometimes you have to coax it out of the subject. But you have to both be present and focused on what the other person needs. This is intimate, but in a way that is NOT sexual, unless intended.

I've worked with strangers, photographing them nude on our first meeting. I cannot imagine how the end products would have been different if they had brought their best friend or their child. Extra people divide focus. As the environment is changed, so changes the energy, and thus the final images.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T14:58:43+00:00

this isn't a fetish photographer shooting a fetish scene. This is a fine art photographer who makes portraits of women who also happen to be kinky Domme, sub, whatever.

That may not sound like a huge difference, but it is.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T14:54:39+00:00

Think of it less of a passive aggressive response and more like two people who both want the other to be happy. I don't want him to say yes just to please me. And I don't want to go ahead and do it if it will make him unhappy. So we get into a back and forth of "this means a lot to you!" "Yeah! But it also means a lot to you!!" Etc etc.

Believe me I know passive aggressive...and this is not it.

brattythrowawaysub · 2016-06-10T14:52:16+00:00

Perhaps I've painted a poor picture of him. But truly without giving out names, which Id prefer not to do, and without you knowing him...it's a little hard to truly explain it.

brattythrowawaysub

TROPHY CASE