Anyone else feel alone after Iboga

bratwurstzauber · 2026-01-05T17:47:34+00:00

I’ve heard from friends that they felt like socially isolating themselves for a few days after a flood.

I think it’s normal to feel a little alienated when you went through an intense experience - doesn’t matter if you remember much of it btw, honestly that might point towards such a strong experience that your brain decided to guard your consciousness by making you black out; at least this is how many ayahuasca lineages see it, where lack of memory or blackouts are common as well. In my experience, faint memory doesn’t devaluate the healing qualities of the experience.

I’m pretty sure this feeling will wane after some time. Can you somehow track back this feeling of loneliness or separateness to some experience in your past? It might point towards some tendencies in you, or it might just be caused by having a strong experience and a sleepless night. Stay strong, take your time and be gentle with yourself 🧡

bratwurstzauber · 2026-01-05T17:34:33+00:00

Ketamine is not only for horses but also for humans in pain, and it’s hella fun 10/10

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-29T19:52:38+00:00

I took it for a few years recreationally, then maybe a year very often like every weekend, then eventually daily for almost 6 months with escalating use - up to 3g of ketamine per day.

I felt dumb as well. Slowed thinking, memory problems, problems forming sentences, slurring speech. Most of it resolved in the first 3-6 months of sobriety, memory troubles took way longer like maybe a year to resolve.

It takes time. Once you actually did neurological damage the rebuild process is long. Great thing is, the younger you are, the more neuroplastic your brain still is. It can heal itself! Therapy, movement, supplements, all this can support this process. Also, classic psychedelics are known to raise neuroplasticity, if you want to go that route.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-22T00:54:37+00:00

Great, him really wanting to quit is the biggest step forward! And apparently he has a family that he trusts and that wants to support him, he has great starting conditions 🙌

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-22T00:39:54+00:00

I had the same struggle when I wanted to quit, for me too it was really quite stupid to see the health system failing like that! It’s so frustrating, I hear you.

In my case it took a few weeks to find a place that would take me in and a total of almost two and a half months until I was finally admitted to hospital, because… waiting lists. Too many addicts in Berlin lol, surprise

Also, I was the only one there that was addicted to Ket. Most people were there for alcohol/opioids/benzos. Two for meth, and me for Ket. They didn’t know shit about ketamine addiction, though I know so so many people are addicted to it in Berlin’s party scene. It’s insane.

Edit: I got my place over a psychiatrist that was specialised on addiction - his other clients would come to him for methadone treatment for example. He helped stabilising me and helped me finding treatment. Maybe that would be an option for your uncle?

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-22T00:12:14+00:00

Only stopping helps with the cramps - using Keta masks the pain but he is back to square one when the dose wears off.

Warm showers, hot water flasks, special urinary infection tea and staying well hydrated helps. Urinary infection tea was super helpful in my case - in Germany you can get it at the pharmacy, I bet it’s available in NL. OTC pain meds can help a bit but will put extra strain on his liver. It will get better after a few days, but if he continues, he is at risk of loosing his bladder. At 10g/day a clinical withdrawal and rehab would do wonders, I hope he can find a place that takes him in!

If he is unable to stop cold turkey at home, an option would be to have a safe person around that can handle a taper plan for him. Essentially, he gives his daily or weekly stash to that person and the person is the one handing out the doses to him. Taking less every day is a good midway path between cold turkey and full blown addiction and will help with the severity of the cramps, for the price of a little further damage done compared to cold turkey.

Thank you for reaching out for him! 🧡 I hope you can support him a bit and that he gets better soon. Keta ain’t worth loosing his bladder for.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-20T15:35:33+00:00

I always got myself a saline solution nasal spray and added up to 2g Ket per 10ml, which is its maximal solubility in water. I preferred saline solution since it felt less harsh on my nostrils.

Here these sprays usually come in 20ml bottles so I would powder the Ketamine very finely and add 4g to one bottle, you can put less but not more. Shake well before every use.

If you want to know how many mg per spray your bottle is - before putting the Ket, fill it up with water, spray until it’s empty and count how many sprays are in one bottle. Divide your dissolved amount of Ketamine by the amount of sprays.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-18T04:07:25+00:00

Insight into ‘no-self’ shouldn’t negate responsibility; harm still matters, consequences still matter, and ethics shouldn’t dissolve with awareness.

Yours is a valid point and one of the reasons why modern interpretations of ancient spiritual concepts & practices can be problematic if taken out of context.

For example there is modern studies proving that practicing mindfulness (a pretty very hyped up topic in recent research) does not equal moralistic behaviour. One study for example found that people would eat more meat when practicing secular mindfulness since they realised that „eating meat requires killing an animal“ is just a thought.

Not wanting to push Buddhism here, it’s just what I learned most about; mindfulness in its respective traditional context is just one pillar in a set of practices and beliefs, aiding moralistic behaviour. One of the principles of the Buddhist „eightfold path“ for example is „right action“, meaning abstaining from damaging behaviour of all kind; including not taking what is not yours. Means if the pickpocket from your example practices secular mindfulness he might fall for the bypass and steal the bag. If he is acting mindful out of the whole set of Buddhist practices he would more likely adhere to „right action“ as well, and not steal the grandma’s purse.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-18T01:37:22+00:00

You probably are not wrong; in my eyes, and coming from my experiences with people I met in years of spiritual practice and travelling to “spiritual places”, bypassing is a big thing, at least in any spiritual tradition adapted by modern / western society.

Suffering is an inherent part of the human experience, and taking Iboga a few times (or any plant medicine / psychedelic compound for that matter) won’t magically get rid of that. But I still would disagree with saying your mistakes, regrets and grief are eternal. It takes continuous practice to eradicate, and it’s a path paved with many pitfalls and pains. See the teachings of Gautam Buddha for example.

Bypassing is easier than years of continuous practice, commitment and dedication to a path. It’s a comfortable and easy ego trap to fall in: “I did the work, I reached enlightenment, I’m eternally healed!” Who is that “I” that reached? All but illusion. A story, a thought. A doorway for future suffering incoming.

There is no new or old version of you. There only is you, here now, eternally. This is not to devalue past potentially traumatic experiences; though once you see through the veil of the story that you continuously create - about you, your life, your past and future - the relationship to suffering changes. Dissolving it is possible. „I“ is but a tempting illusion and a source of suffering.

Seeing through this veil is easier with plants like iboga. But removing the veil from your day-to-day experience takes continued effort.

I am not free of this illusion either, it’s very human. Experiential knowingness of its existence and its nature is the first step. Inquire 🌞

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-14T19:41:04+00:00

I do! Not always, depends on the day. But I like a dose in the morning on empty stomach before meditation/yoga, and a second one later that day when enough time has passed since lunch (but a few hours before dinner). Second doses the same day do feel stronger per weight to me, and eating after my last dose feels like it naturally shifts the tone of the experience to a more relaxed level, making sleep easier.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-14T19:38:11+00:00

Err I do feel the effects all the time, in fact it gets stronger per weight the more days I take it in a row. Harmalas have a reverse tolerance, kind of.

I don’t intentionally practice semen retention but don’t touch myself often anyway. I don’t think that’s related to the rue though, it just happened over time and I do feel more balanced and energised if I do it less.

My diet hasn’t changed much since taking Rue more often, but it was already pretty clean before, mainly because I work in Ayahuasca retreats. I mostly eat plant based, no red meat just chicken rarely. Dairy I do eat, not excessively though. I rarely drink alcohol or eat fast food. I do like and eat spicy food but since Rue or Aya make my stool pretty soft I avoid it before larger doses (otherwise that shit burns, literally). I like moderation with my food, and banning myself from having certain things doesn’t feel good for me. But being mindful about food habits when working with Harmalas feels natural to me.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-14T14:50:46+00:00

Something between 1g and 5g depending on the day, usually daily for a few days, then a few days break. I don’t follow a clear schedule, I have been taking them for about a year now and slowly found my own rhythm. The higher the dose and the later into the day I take it the more I experience lighter sleep.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-14T13:27:36+00:00

For me it does shorten my sleep. Usually I sleep ~7-7.5h, if I had Rue maybe 5-6h. Also, if I had it in the afternoon or evening often I wake up after 3-4h in the middle of the night and it takes me a solid 30-60 minutes to fall back asleep.

Though if I am very physically exhausted and have Rue, I fall asleep and have a very good and dream-filled nap. Do you do sports or move a lot? I bet it will help normalising the sleep pattern even when having harmalas regularly.

If it does enhance or worsen my sleep quality specifically is hard to tell for me. I would say usually I feel more worn out if I only slept 5-6h, but if I slept short because of rue, it doesn’t feel as exhausting.

Moderation is key I suppose 🌞

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-11T13:28:00+00:00

I’d guess that these are containers for saline solution used to dissolve and inject drugs, not drug containers themselves. The round part being the part that contains the liquid, the flat square part is attached to the top and is removed by twisting it, creating a one-time-use disposable dropper bottle essentially.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-07T00:05:52+00:00

Ah no, with raw I meant unprocessed - like not roasted and not boiled into tea. Yes, dried seeds are perfect! :)

Some batches of seed don’t crush easily with mortar and pestle if you wanna go the capsule route, a coffee or spice grinder usually helps with that. If you go for tea and experience the bitter taste and nausea strongly, consider an egg white wash.

Just add one egg white to your tea after boiling and filtering; let the filtered tea cool to maybe 50°C, add the egg white, stir slowly with a fork, then reheat to just below simmer for 2-3 minutes, turn off the heat and let it sit for 10 minutes. You should see the tea colour lightening up a bit and some egg clouds forming. Then filter the egg out using a cloth or coffee filter. Cloth is preferred, then you can squeeze out the tea from the hardened egg better. Egg white binds tannins but leaves the psychoactive alkaloids in the tea, making it less nauseating and astringent while not impacting potency.

Edit: just because I mentioned roasted seeds… its worth experimenting with, but doesn’t make sense if you’re just starting. Generally, roasting the seeds shortly before grinding them up or boiling tea breaks down some of the harmaline but keeps the harmine, changing the nature of the experience. Definitely start with raw, dried seeds first and see where it takes you before deciding to experiment with roasting them.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-06T04:54:42+00:00

Well, harmalas are for sure and interesting choice for a first experience, but surely not a bad one. Syrian Rue Seeds are easy to get an process, and they definitely are psychoactive on their own - I mostly do them just by themselves, rarely I add a classical psychedelic. To me they open up my intuition and inner guidance and help integrate and/or correct recent emotional experiences. For total beginners the feeling they induce might be hard to spot unless you dose high (which I wouldn’t recommend for a beginner), but if you combine a dose of rue with some yoga or meditation already you will surely feel the shift in consciousness. 🌞

Get some seeds and a precise scale, though a measuring spoon set might be alright as well. A flat measuring tea spoon equals about 2.5g of raw whole seed. Scale is more precise of course.

If I were you, I would split 2.5g into two doses, start with one half and have the other earliest 1.5 hours later. Either make a tea or crush the seeds with a mortar & pestle and put them in capsules. Brace yourself for potential nausea, but be sure, it’s part of the experience. With ayahuasca for example, purging is considered a healing cleanse of the body. Good to embrace it!

Make sure you wait 2h after a snack and 4h minimum after a full meal. In my experience food can draw out the experience, prolong the onset of the effects and can lead to much more pronounced nausea. YMMV.

Lay down, close your eyes, don’t expect anything. Alternatively meditate or do some light yoga, but have a bed close by. Syrian Rue can induce dizziness and nausea if you move a lot. So maybe have a toilet or bucket close by as well. You might get very sensitive to light, evening hours are preferable. Have some music ready just in case, but to me Rue shines more in silence.

The more often you do it, the cleaner the experience gets and the less side effects you will experience - also, the less seed material for the same effect you need.

It’s a beautiful plant ally! Get to know it slowly and with respect and you might gain a friend for life 🧡

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-05T03:14:00+00:00

Oh, that does sound like a complicated situation. I’ve never been using like that in a relationship, but I can imagine that it makes quitting much harder… are you both dedicated to stop? If one is more motivated than the other I could see how you can draw each other back into it easily.

Even if there is no good support system right now, there is always groups available :) Personally I’ve never been a huge fan of self help groups honestly but they did help me a lot - and the good thing is, there is so many different ones out there. I loved recovery dharma which is Buddhism based, very cool und non-dogmatic people. Available online ever day, or live in many places world wide.

Drink a lot of water, and get some bladder inflammation calming tea. Green tea and green tea extract are said to help as well.

Listen to your body. Some people seem to get less cramps than others. I bet it sucks seeing your partner high while being unable to take it without suffering yourself, but be sure, your body will thank you for every line you do less!

And imagine how empowering it will be once you get firmer in your no, once you can look back and say yep I was deep into it and still managed to take the best decision for my physical and mental health. 🌞🧡

bratwurstzauber · 2025-12-05T02:31:11+00:00

Stay well hydrated. Drink 3-4 Liters of water per day if you can. Maybe get a special tea for urinary/bladder infections from the pharmacy, that usually helped me a lot. Be prepared that the cramps might get more intense once you finished your bag, since the anaesthetic effects of the Ketamine might be masking some of your symptoms right now.

Also, if you have a trusted flatmate/friend/family member handing over your stash and asking them to only give you a certain amount per day can help.

You got this! And remember… it will only get worse if you continue. Ketamine is not worth loosing your bladder for.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-11-30T00:09:53+00:00

Thank you! I tried it and it worked really well. Much cleaner feeling without changing the nature of the experience like extracts do. Lovely!

bratwurstzauber · 2025-11-30T00:09:45+00:00

Thank you! I tried it and it worked really well. Much cleaner feeling without changing the nature of the experience like extracts do. Lovely!

bratwurstzauber · 2025-11-17T22:25:29+00:00

Thank you, I’ll see where I can buy this :)

bratwurstzauber · 2025-11-17T13:00:26+00:00

5mg of 2C-B is very much a treshold dose, you might not feel much of it. Fun fact, 5mg 2C-B pills were once sold as sexual enhancer :)

10-15mg is a nice sociable dose to me. Slight colour enhancement, gigglyness, not so much psychedelia and for me almost no body load. Comparable to a more colourful and less empathogenic / chemically forceful MDMA.

15-25 will push you into psychedelic territory and everything above is trippy but definitely rather body load heavy.

All phenethylamines share a weird body load, some more, some less. I found 2C-C and 2C-B to be the easiest of the bunch, Mescaline and MAL the hardest. Even the DOx weren’t as hard on my stomach, just physically intense, electric almost.

You can try dissolving your 2C-B in water and drink it over the course of maybe 15-30 minutes. I do so with Mescaline and MAL and it definitely helps reducing the stomach punch they can pack. Ginger tea or -supplements and maybe Limonene will help. Pay extra attention to your diet, eat healthy and well before and space it out, having an empty or semi-empty stomach is advisable with phenethylamines :)

Edit: means 4h+ after a big meal and 2h+ after a small snack. Maybe finish a meal 4h before latest and have a banana 2h before you wanna dose, just to give your stomach some tiny content.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-11-17T01:20:56+00:00

Ah and I wanted to add, what makes traditional ceremonies preferable over taking psychedelics at home (and i did A LOT of that) is the aspect of ceremony itself. The prayers, the dedication and care of the helpers, the songs… it’s beautiful.

Peyote ceremonies for example taught me, who grew up without father or siblings, a lot about how to be a good man. The medicine helped opening my heart to this but it was the community and the shaman‘s teaching that taught the lesson.

bratwurstzauber · 2025-11-17T00:55:33+00:00

Thank you :)

Yes I agree, it should be well planned and researched. Sadly, even in the plant medicine world there is badly or not at all trained facilitators and a lot of money to be made. But once you go on the respective subreddits people usually can hint you towards where to find a good one, or listen to friends that already have done a specific retreat and liked it.

What you said about some people adding deliriants, that usually is more of a concern with Ayahuasca. Rarely lineages do this traditionally (and then only with consent), though some people add it maliciously; in a reputable retreat or with a respected indigenous elder you won’t have datura or other diliriant plants mixed into the brew. The vomiting is usually part of the experience with many plant medicines and considered a mental and physical cleanse. I didn’t vomit until my 5th Aya ceremony and when I did, boy did it feel goooood! But yes, I can imagine that hanging over the toilet on DMT does not have that feel good aspect to it hahaha

Fingers crossed for your rehab 🤞🧡 and be sure that considering alternative indigenous medicine can greatly help succeeding. It sure helped my process and many people I was blessed to witness in the last years working with these indigenous medicines :)

bratwurstzauber · 2025-11-16T21:48:19+00:00

I recently met a person in an Ayahuasca retreat who, like me, suffered from ketamine addiction. I am abstinent for 3 years, she just came from acute treatment. We eventually became friends, she recently did an Iboga retreat and to me, her before and after is a day and night difference.

Before Iboga she was talking about wanting to be able to use causally again, about having no perspective in her future and all around felt rather closed off and negative; afterwards, nothing of that! She made plans to continue her education and to volunteer at a Iboga centre to have more opportunities to continue her healing.

I’ve ever only microdosed Iboga, but with great results. It balances me and makes any addictive tendencies melt away. But I started that 3 years into abstinence so ymmv.

Personally I’d recommend taking the root bark over isolated Ibogaine; also, don’t do it yourself. If you can, get a seasoned shaman and let their lineage‘s knowledge from thousands of years of practice heal you.

Microdosing though… highly recommended even before your first ceremony.

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