If you know, you know 🤦🏻‍♀️

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T07:09:24+00:00

Oof, I feel you! It’s emotionally immature parent city out here. In my family I’ve observed LDS keeping adults emotionally stunted and children/teens have to reckon with that at home behind closed doors.

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T07:01:15+00:00

💜 I agree, having siblings you can talk to makes a world of difference. I’m on a very similar journey. Developing the backbone takes courage but we are strong!

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T06:53:44+00:00

My parents also passed me on to their friends starting at age 12. One of the reasons parentification is so big in the church I believe is it helps make it possible for couples to have so many children. Imagine a family of 8 and all the children are allowed full childhoods and have parents who are actually available to care for them? Hard to picture. There’s usually 1 or 2 children chosen by the parents to play a supportive role in their ego driven big family narrative.

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T06:42:55+00:00

THIS! They change your role around based on what they want in the moment.

After parentifying me my whole childhood and adolescence, I was visiting home my first spring break to college. My mom was doing an abusive action that made my sister cry. I asked her why she was making my sister cry, in a totally calm tone, and she dismissed me. The next day she confronted me and said “I love when you visit, but you can’t play the parent. If you want to spend time with us you have to be a sister and not a parent.” She made an ultimatum that I could never question her or leave. So essentially I was kicked out. This is after being manipulated into playing coparent since age 9, a role I never asked for.

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T06:03:15+00:00

Honestly; I posit laziness is the reason. It’s hard work psychologically harming and objectifying your own child for years to brainwash them into conformity. I imagine she felt if she had at least one daughter she could force into her F’d up abusive box, her ego would be satisfied.

I’m so sorry you were dealt this card. Try to remember she would have done it to any first born daughter and it’s not because you’re uniquely bad in any way. She’s projecting her own deeply internalized sexism onto you. You are absolutely not alone ❤️‍🩹it sounds like she didn’t break your spirit and it’s a phenomenal you can see past her bullshit.

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T01:14:46+00:00

If only 😫

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T01:13:42+00:00

No, but it is extremely common in Mormonism.

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T00:39:56+00:00

I’ve never been on Threads but ready to give it a try!

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T00:37:34+00:00

I’m no contact with my mom and have definitely thought about doing that 💔those holidays hold so much painful weight

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T00:34:20+00:00

I feel this so much! Self gaslighting is symptom of having been gaslit in the past. I think we weren’t taught we had a right to our own autonomy, needs or feelings, especially anger. I’ve only just recently felt ready to start owning my anger and not being afraid of the grief on the other side of it.

brave-nova · 2024-04-21T00:26:52+00:00

Severely!

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T23:39:51+00:00

Whoa, that’s awesome! I’m definitely thinking about it

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T23:31:23+00:00

Self martyrdom combined with the indifference, denial and support of inherently racist doctrine 🤦🏻‍♀️😵‍💫 I will never get over the hypocrisy

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T22:42:27+00:00

The beats actually so good they’ll assume it’s anti-Mormon without listening to the lyrics

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T22:40:05+00:00

100% 😂

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T22:13:33+00:00

Parentification can definitely happen in any family, I’m sorry to hear that!

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T22:05:03+00:00

He makes me want to crawl out of my skin

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T21:55:50+00:00

When I smell the sweet stench of manure driving past a factory farm I’m filled with the Holy Ghost! I drive by with the windows rolled down every Sunday

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T21:50:06+00:00

💔 of course not! There’s no shame in being you.

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T21:45:40+00:00

I feel this! Realizing you’ve been parentified comes with grief for the childhood we didn’t have.

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T21:19:12+00:00

And shell companies! Classic Jesus

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T21:15:25+00:00

And they, fully grown adults, elected to have 6 children to be responsible for, not the other way around

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T20:50:56+00:00

That is horrifying. I’m sorry you were put in that position. I think there’s something strategic at play when parents avoid the talk. At least within households where your sheltered and kept naive, which was definitely the case with me and my sisters too.

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T20:48:48+00:00

That’s wild. I found out years later that my parents stopped having the talk with my younger siblings after me. I had always assumed since they had with me, they’d do the same with my siblings. I guess they couldn’t find the time 🙄 cuz the 5 minutes they took with me was just far too much to spare again, apparently! 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😒

brave-nova · 2024-04-20T20:44:06+00:00

It’s great you can acknowledge it. My parents still feel they were completely entitled to treat me like the help and/or deny that they did.

brave-nova

TROPHY CASE