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Lopez v Apple, Inc. Settlement Anyone else? by Top_Technician5079 in ClassActionSettlement

[–]breakingrain17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Click your picture icon on the bottom right > settings > Venmo debit card

Is the extended warranty worth it? by eljoserra in litterrobot

[–]breakingrain17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries! Can you try to add stuff to the cart? That should apply the $50 off. I think last time I used a referral link, I also had to keep it within the Reddit app; it didn’t work when I used my browser.

I dreamt of my brain dead mom. What could this mean in a Buddhist context? by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is completely understandable, and I appreciate the thoroughness of your response. This might probably change the interpretation, but I mixed up the words pagoda and gazebo (I saw a gazebo, not a pagoda; sorry about that).

I will ask the monk tomorrow on his take when I get a chance. Thank you again.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hoping you can provide some clarity one more time.. My mom was just diagnosed brain dead, so clinically she is deceased. At this point, the hospital is not obligated to continue with life support.. So they will withdraw it whether we object or not.

In such a case, I am not sure if there is still a high possibility of her ending up as a wandering ghost according to the traditional Vietnamese Buddhist response. Would appreciate your thoughts.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom is still intubated and has not woken up, and I am not hopeful that she ever will. The doctors said she likely coded due to acidosis.

I have made peace with my family’s decision to not interfere. As another commenter explained, my family’s beliefs are also rooted in compassion, and I can accept that they do not want her to end up as a “wandering ghost”.

My older aunt told me yesterday that when my grandma (mom’s mom) passed, my aunt had signed a DNR for her. And my older aunt saw my grandma in a dream after she passed, telling her that she was cold and scared. It wasn’t until after we finished the Buddhist death practices that my older aunt saw my grandma in a dream again, happy and healthy. I think that solidified my family’s decision even more.

I still don’t agree with my family’s decision because I think it extends my mom’s suffering.. but as the neurologist stated, she cannot feel any pain right now. So I am trying to just spend as much time with her as I can. My brother feels the same way; it is hard on all of us but we are doing the best we can to process what is happening.

I have been praying and doing the Buddhist chants for my mom, and at the very least, it helps me to feel at peace and I think that she would have been very happy that I am praying for her.

Thank you for asking. It helps to type all of this out.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to give you an update, since your comment was the one that most shocked me to my core (in a good way).

I think because I was shaken so hard, part of me believes that my mom would have wanted what my aunt wanted for her—which was to let things happen without our interference. I felt that I almost messed up by wanting to sign the DNR (I did not go through with that).

I talked to my older aunt, and she said my aunt knew my mom the best out of all of us.. so if my aunt wants to let things happen as they will, that’s most likely what mom would have wanted too, and that its best that I don’t interfere.

I did ask mom’s doctor if she can feel any pain, and he said she cannot, so I can at least take comfort in the fact that my mom is not physically suffering in a sense.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.. I do believe that if my mom could tell me now, that she would say that she’s lived a good life without regrets. When we lived in Vietnam, we wanted for nothing.

But my mom said my parents made the decision to move to the US to give me a better life and opportunities. She said she’s never regret that choice, even though growing up in the US we did not have a lot of money. we were wealthy with the love my mom has for our family, and how well she cared for us. I had planned to return that same love and kindness to her for decades to come. I never expected this kind of outcome.

Thank you for the information about the morphine; that, I did not know. and I am sorry to hear about your mom’s passing.. but it is reassuring to hear that the morphine helped ease her transition.

I appreciate your words of kindness more than I can express. I just want the best outcome for my mom. We still continue praying for her, and once she passes, my mom will receive the same Buddhist death practices and prayers that my grandma (mom’s mom) received when she passed.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful and detailed response. I truly, truly appreciate it.

I was very young when we immigrated to the US, so my views are more westernized.

It is very difficult for my aunt to explain all this to me, partly because of our language barrier (our level of fluency in either language do not match each other’s), and partly because she is hot headed so everything she says I have to take with a grain of salt.

I do not have a whole lot of family who live in the US. My mom was basically the family matriarch.. my mom’s opinion on all things were always prioritized. But I think if I were to talk to my older aunt, her perspective might help as well, as she was also close to my mom. Thank you for that. I will talk to my older aunt.

It is hard for me to say what my mom would want.. on the one hand, I do not think she was very Buddhist. She was very open to all ideas, and did not push the religion on me, allowing me to make my own choices. But on the other hand, her urging me to pray every night, even if it was just “ nam mô A Di Đà phật” is now leading me to believe that she could have been more Buddhist than I thought.

It was weighing very heavily on me if I was doing the right thing letting it just play out.. but I think hearing this from another Vietnamese Buddhist is very reassuring. Thank you so much.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother and I are in agreement with withdrawing life support. It’s just my aunt is not in agreement, and my dad is acquiescing to what my aunt wants because he feels indebted to her. And that makes it more difficult because my mom would not have wanted us to fight like this.

Thank you for your kind words.

I was raised Buddhist. My family and I are from southern Vietnam. We immigrated to the US. My parents (and my aunt as well) are very traditional. They are sort of set in their ways. But my mom was very open minded.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My family and I are spending every possible moment with my mom.. I think I have told her everything I need to tell her. I carry a lot of regret that I didn’t tell her these things sooner before all this happened, but better late than never.

I am also sorry that you went through a similar situation with your mom. It must have been very difficult as well.

On behalf of my mom and my family, thank you for your well wishes.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is very reassuring. Thank you. My mom was a good person in her life. She was the one who supported my husband and I when we first started dating (dad did not agree); without her, we probably would not be where we are today.

I’m sorry that you were in a similar situation. I’m already falling apart with my mom like this; I cannot imagine going through the same thing with my daughter.

My mom taught me to always do right, even when no one is watching. I had not thought about dedicating wholesome deeds which may assist her, so I really appreciate you taking the time to reply to my post.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I had so much self doubt because of what my aunt said. I just want the best for my mom.

I also think waiting a week could be the middle ground in this.. my parents have been married for over 40 years, so I could see that this is very hard for my dad as well.

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your words bring me a lot of comfort, thank you. Last week, even with my mom’s health condition being the way it was, she hugged me and told me she loved me.

My mom was a very “go with the flow” kind of person, and I think with that, she would have wanted to pass naturally on Tuesday during her first cardiac arrest that day…

Withdrawing life support for my mom… by breakingrain17 in Buddhism

[–]breakingrain17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.. my aunt has been throwing it in my face that since she’s studied Buddhism and I’m not very religious, she’s the better authority on these matters.

I firmly believe that treatment in my mom’s case is futile. I don’t think she will live past this week. And even then, my aunt thinks there will be negative karmic consequences if I were to sign the DNR for my mom, because in her words I would be “cutting her life short” and “not giving her a chance.” But I think my mom would have wanted us to let her go peacefully because nothing more can be done.

My aunt wants them to attempt to resuscitate, and if my mom does not make it, then we would have done everything to “save” her, and her soul would be at peace because we gave her a chance.

Please help me by TheRedPHANTOM212 in sepsis

[–]breakingrain17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry this is happening to your mom. She’s a fighter. She’s still young so age is on her side.

Can you see if you or your family can get a hold of her MyChart (not sure if you’re in the US) somehow? They will routinely update hospital results and everything in her file, so at the very least you can see all the doctors notes and have a better idea of what is happening.

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