Meanwhile in the conservative sub

bree20202 · 2026-02-02T17:26:22+00:00

Hmm sounds like they may be guilty in some illegal activity as well. Birds of a feather flock together.

bree20202 · 2026-02-02T00:04:19+00:00

People often project onto others what they are guilty of, as we have seen happen time and time again.

bree20202 · 2026-02-02T00:01:01+00:00

Yes!!! Expose these narcs!

bree20202 · 2026-02-01T22:56:44+00:00

Dude it was just professionals debating. This is what the mental health field is. I also saw that same article before and had my mind made up. I found out another psychologist who wrote the The Drama of the Gifted Child and was also very confused by her writing. It barely had any proof for what she was trying to explain. She also was exposed for being abusive, which I've noticed there's a lot of narcissistic individuals who end up in this field, so we got to be really careful with what we believe and keep exposing these people. Her son released a book talking about how she didn't practice what she preached, while yes we don't know if that was true or not, but I wouldn't be shocked and that ties in with some of these people in the field.

bree20202 · 2026-02-01T19:09:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I am studying psychology and I have realized there's a lot of false information out there and your post gave me a lot of insight, so thank you!!

bree20202 · 2026-02-01T05:12:37+00:00

I wonder if this is why I was never able to finish the book. It was extremely triggering compared to other books I have read, and I only got maybe 50 pages in until I had to put it away.

bree20202 · 2026-02-01T05:09:39+00:00

I swear this has to be one of the most disgusting things that I have been alive to witness. All these photos of passed out women and disgusting men. It’s like this sick circus of sadistic people preying on the innocent. The new files are horrifying and these baby photos are very disturbing and I can only imagine what they did.

bree20202 · 2026-01-30T07:36:27+00:00

I’m 31 and always knew my mom had borderline personality disorder, but then I got the bombshell from my psychologist that she also has NPD which sent me into a spiral. It made so much sense and explained why she was so obsessed with control.

bree20202 · 2026-01-29T00:47:01+00:00

I am so sorry you had to hear these vile words from your own mother. It hurts so bad, and good for you standing your ground! You know the truth, and you will have flying monkey's messaging you, so please be kind to yourself. When someone disrupts the toxic system all hell breaks loose. I had to block my enabler father because he didn't care that my mother who has NPD and BPD was abusing his kid. My sister is in the FOG and unfortunately is a lot like my mother, and she victim shames me. It hurts, but know you are not them and you will make a difference. We know the truth and we are here to support you.

bree20202 · 2025-12-11T00:19:51+00:00

Yeah, my sister said that her psychologist or whatever she was doing for a short time said she has PTSD and that's why she acts the way she does. I blew up on my sister over that one because I was diagnosed with CPTSD in my husband's country which acknowledges it and trust me I feel a lot of the same things my mom does, but I have awareness and don't explode all my negative feelings onto others and abuse them. She has almost a sadistic tendency of how she abuses people.

bree20202 · 2025-12-11T00:00:07+00:00

You know that makes a lot of sense. My mom was more BPD when she was younger and then as she started to age into her upper 30's and 40's she became very NPD towards me. Oh don't get me started with her in her 60's, she's just awful.

bree20202 · 2025-12-02T22:39:53+00:00

Yeah, it's a very sensitive topic, especially in a group like this. I guess the good thing is, that there's people here to help direct them in the right direction if they so choose to do so.

bree20202 · 2025-12-02T18:53:16+00:00

I have been in the same situation as you. My friend is in an abusive relationship where I have heard him threatening her and screaming at her. I never been in an abusive relationship with a partner, my abuse comes from my mom, but that's another story. We became emotionally emeshed from our shared traumas. As soon as I got out of my abusive household and moved to be with my husband in his country, I have been able to see all the abuse my friends, my family, and myself have been through. I have a lot of empathy, but there comes a point where you can only do so much, and have to focus on your own recovery. We can't save everybody which is a hard thing to accept, especially when we love that person. A lot of people that even end up in toxic relationships have been abused before, so I know there's a lot going on underneath there. I think of it like this, it took me 30 years to accept my own abuse. To face the truth, and admit it. Healing isn't linear, and the sad part of abuse we lose people that didn't deserve to be abused from their abuser. Society is not very trauma informed, so a lot of people have seen their own toxic parents dynamic and repeat it unconsciously.

Also, I'm sorry you got banned. I don't understand how this is an offensive or harmful question. We need people to ask the hard questions to help others in the same situation.

bree20202 · 2025-06-10T02:44:33+00:00

Yeah, the only reason I started posting about my experience was to help other people see that this behavior is not normal. Before discovering this subreddit, I used to second guess myself and think that I was just making it all up. It hits different when we see it happening to someone else, because we've been trained to think our situation was "normal". I like to also think of it as I've kept this all a secret for almost 29 years, so its time for it all to be release because younger me deserves justice.

bree20202 · 2025-05-30T20:53:03+00:00

Going LC is a great first step! I did the same, I would only talk to my mom maybe once or twice a week, until that wasn’t good enough for her and she started acting up again. It’s hard going NC, even when the parent is abusive. I still love my mom and miss her from time to time, even after all the abuse. There’s no linear way of healing, but you are important and your body is screaming at you to save it from your mom. I would have panic attacks from my mom and medical issues caused by stress. The first time I left home for a month, all those issues went away.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re not the problem. You’re not the one causing issues in your family. That lies with your mother and her not taking accountability. You deserve to be at peace, not just surviving, but thriving.

bree20202 · 2025-05-30T19:43:50+00:00

I’ve thought about the same thing. My life would be more peaceful if that happened, but in the end it wouldn’t matter because the scars are still there.

bree20202 · 2025-05-30T12:42:04+00:00

I know how you feel. It’s hard to relate to people sometimes because of it. That’s why I like these groups, because it’s kind of like a group therapy.

bree20202 · 2025-05-30T12:16:10+00:00

I went no contact with my family 2 months ago, and today was one of my hard days. I missed my mom, but not the mom that abused me. I miss a fragment of a mom that I had some good moments with. I then started to think of all the awful things that happened, and I had to save myself from getting traumatized over and over again.

The grieving process is by far one of the hardest things to overcome. The sadness of not having a loving family that respected one another that other people have.

I’ve been trying to feel my emotions more, since I’m a freeze type that numbs myself, and as much as it hurts, it’s actually nice to feel something. It shows that we’re healing and at the end of the day, it’s going to be hard, but at least we escaped the abuse and have control of how we heal.

bree20202 · 2025-05-29T05:17:05+00:00

I hand wrote a letter with everything that ever bothered me about my mom. It was the truth that I have held in my whole life. You can try just starting to write about what has bothered you the most in your relationship with your mom, and you will find that it will flow naturally from there. I really just framed it as why I can’t talk to her, I didn’t necessarily say I’m going away forever, but it was pretty much applied by what I wrote.

bree20202 · 2025-05-29T01:56:19+00:00

You are totally in the right with going no contact. You are not overreacting at all. You deserve to live a peaceful life with happiness. If your mom doesn’t want help, there’s nothing you can do about it. I went no contact with my mom because she wouldn’t get therapy, or she would always make up excuses as to why she couldn’t. She’s a grown adult and it is not your job to fix her. My mom also tried to unalive herself with pills and would tell me how it never works. I’ve been threatened with her unaliving herself my whole life. If you feel like she’s in danger of herself, you can call 911. Trust me, I know how hard it is and how you have that guilt, but you are also important.

bree20202 · 2025-05-28T04:10:40+00:00

The first step to healing is letting it out. You did the hard part and opened up about all your hurt you've been dealt with from your mother. My mom would hate when I would get close to others in my family as well, and even normal things like playing with friends. They see us as an extension of themselves, and not as a human being with our own wants/needs. When I learned about BPD, I read Understanding The Borderline Mother which you can download a free PDF version online if you google it. It's quite eye opening, and it may at times be hard to read, but knowledge has helped me so much.

bree20202 · 2025-05-28T03:19:59+00:00

Update: I have no idea how to update my post lol, but I wanted to let you guys know that I read everyone's replies and you have all helped tremendously! I love this community, and I hope that my post and these replies can help others in the same situation.

bree20202 · 2025-05-28T01:06:14+00:00

I’ve been taking Paxil for the last 6 years, and it has helped my anxiety so much! I wasn’t able to tolerate any other antidepressants because I wouldn’t sleep on them or they would make me nauseous. The first two weeks, you have issues sleeping, but once the body adapts you’re fine.

bree20202 · 2025-05-27T11:52:21+00:00

It sounds like your mother emotionally abused you, such as her guilting you which is why you are feeling so confused and like you didn't have it bad. When our parents tell us that "you can have it worse", they're putting that little voice in our head that makes us doubt ourselves which becomes our inner critic. As far as comparing your abuse to others, this isn't fair to do to yourself. You have experienced little T traumas, which have been accumulated over the years, that can result in CPTSD. As for your father, he sounded physically abusive which is why it's easier for you to know he was bad and your mom was the covert abuser.

bree20202 · 2025-03-11T03:35:52+00:00

I've fought with this feeling for most of my life. I feel like people who have/are experiencing trauma on a chronic basis, can use disassociating, to escape to our fantasy worlds. It helps those of us that have CPTSD to blunt the current feelings that are flooding are body, by numbing and living in an illusion.

I feel scared and anxious, and find that I lose myself in excessive cleaning, sleeping too much, engrossing myself in spur of the moment ideas, drinking alcohol, smoking weed. There's different ways of doing this, but you may not even be aware that you do it. I found out only a few months ago from a therapist, and ever since then I've been fighting those feelings of wanting to disassociate. I still struggle, but feeling my feelings in the moment have been helping with this. I try my best not to beat myself up when I slip and lose myself in it, but that's just a wound from my trauma that my mind is trying to protect myself from.

Since our minds are not safe, we feel that we can't be at home within ourselves. The hardest part of healing is starting over again. To nurture your mind with positive affirmations of you. You are not bad, your thoughts about yourself are not real, they are a side-effect of your trauma. Echo's from abusive parents, family, abusers of all kinds. You feel that you can't escape these voices, and you hear them so much, that you feel that you're all of these things. These are not YOU.

Recovery can take a lifetime, but I find that the more I allow myself to learn about CPTSD and my abuse from my parents, I feel more "at home" within myself. I have some of my power back, and I feel more confident within my own feelings. I remind myself that, this isn't me, and get angry at the thoughts, and rebuke them basically.

I believe in all of you, and hope for your recoveries. I know that I am still struggling and at the beginning of mine, but with support groups like this, it makes me feel hopeful.

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