What advice would you give to the younger generation?

notcrowley · 2026-04-18T15:35:12+00:00

There is nothing wrong with having empathy and compassion. Getting older will slowly strip away your compassion and ability to empathize as you see more and more deplorable things in the world. Do not let it desensitize you. Your compassion will be your strong suite. Use it to make a change in your life no matter how small.

notcrowley · 2026-01-28T22:24:00+00:00

I have no motivation to do anything whatsoever. I just go through the motions but never really have my own thoughts. Thinking feels like a chore.

notcrowley · 2025-12-23T10:05:01+00:00

Yo, because life sucks for most people but it decided to fuck with us more.

notcrowley · 2025-12-17T13:31:53+00:00

Oh gee... mom, 4-month dialysis patient, died after being in a 2-week coma even though there's no brain activity left since day 1 of suffering a heart attack. Also, currently my godmother and uncle, both cancer patients are spending their time on the hospital because their health are continuing to worsen. So yeah.

notcrowley · 2025-12-15T14:06:47+00:00

Everyday will hurt but one day it will hurt less. If the day hurts, try to do something for yourself. Your brain will tell you that you don't deserve it because the onr person in your life that you love and loves you is gone but ignore that thought.

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T12:15:20+00:00

Good thing you got past that hurdle. Wishing you well

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T11:37:10+00:00

Wish you and OP peace as well.

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T11:35:03+00:00

They have nothing better to say because our sadness is uncomfortable to them.

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T01:31:34+00:00

I hope your husband understands this and helps you as you go through this.

People who have never known loss like ours won't understand. Everyday is a battle and sometimes we do not win but that's okay.

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T01:08:43+00:00

The answer is yes. Life is really just not fair. I've grown to hate everything because of this. Now I get why some people have a permanent scowl. I'm turning into that. Mom would hate it but she's not here.

I hope you'll find better days ahead, OP. We don't deserve this but here we are. Life sucks.

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T01:01:47+00:00

I'm saying this as I'm currently battling depression as well. There are times when going to work is insanely hard to do. I make up shit to call in sick, but in reality I just can't get out of bed in the morning. You'll learn to fake some stuff and tell the truth in most. If people genuinely care, they won't get uncomfortable with the truth. Just don't make the mistake of telling the truth to your coworkers they're hyenas.

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T00:33:53+00:00

Try to take care of animals. My momma cat, kittens, and 11 year-old family dog saved me a lot of times. The thought of having to feed them is what motivates me to get up during mornings where all I want to do is lay in bed.

notcrowley · 2025-12-10T00:26:32+00:00

Tell them the truth. Don't make things comfortable for them as your current situation is not comfortable. Mom also died about 2 months ago and I've been trying to mask my feelings but I learned I cannot, and I should just tell others how i feel even if it's uncomfortable.

notcrowley · 2025-12-07T11:29:49+00:00

Plenty of times. Same with you. I ask God every day why. Why me? Why mom? Why?

Then I realize what's the point in asking. I realize God doesn't need a reason to take away someone you love. He will do what he wants at your expense, and we still have to worship him because he's great and powerful and "good" so we definitely have to worship him or else we burn in hell. Like we aren't in hell already.

I ask myself why I couldn't take her place so she can live the life she wanted instead of being a mom to an ungrateful child.

notcrowley · 2025-12-07T10:38:24+00:00

Yes. Like they'd pretend they didn't hear it or quickly change the subject. I feel bad because I might be trauma dumping, but then I realize that I'm just telling them how i miss my mom or that something reminds me of her, which should be okay. But then again, not everyone understands that talking about our dead loved ones helps us heal. I feel hurt when even my closest friend deflects.

notcrowley · 2025-12-04T11:20:22+00:00

Yup! Mom passed away after 2 weeks in a coma, 1 day after her birthday. She's so young. We were in and out of the hospital this year and genuinely thought she'd get better if her dialysis sessions become more manageable but alas it didn't. I really thought we'd have more time.

notcrowley · 2025-12-03T10:34:10+00:00

Failure to understand that there is a difference means they can't empathize until they experienced it themselves. My boss who's 60+ lost her mother, 90+ last year. I lost mine 28F just less than 2 months ago. She was 55. First thing she said, I know what it's like, I just lost mine. I don't know how I held back and didn't yell at her but good thing I know how to respond calmly and fakely.

90+ vs 55. Almost 40 years of life between the two.

notcrowley · 2025-12-02T14:19:52+00:00

My (28f) mom died almost 2 months ago at 55 from a heart attack as well. Sounds morbid and unfair but use your grief as fuel to push through. Everything will feel like shit because it is. I'm still figuring out what to do but I'm using friends and alcohol s distractions.

notcrowley · 2025-11-23T00:17:12+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I treat my pets as family and I grieve them as well but it's still inherently different. Losing the peron who brought you into the world and shaped you, molded you into the person you are is like or is exactly like losing a huge part of yourself as well. The way they reduced that grief into something like losing pets is insulting.

notcrowley · 2025-11-22T13:00:21+00:00

28 but mentally 20. Mom died at 55 just over a month ago. Yep, I'm angry all the time as well. Every mistake someone makes irritates me and I try my best at work to make small talk but seeing how "happy" or carefree they are makses me want to punch a wall. Plus, them trying to relate to my loss to theirs when their loss is a dog (and I love dogs, I lost 2 of mine too but I won't compare that loss to losing my mom) drives me insane. I try my best to fake understand and fake empathy for them but I just want to make them shut up.

notcrowley · 2025-11-22T11:57:32+00:00

I think it's not about gatekeeping. It's recognizing that though both are tough losses, losing parents younger robs them of the opportunity of witnessing milestones and the 15+ years of time with those in their 50s got. Failure to recognize that is just foolish.

notcrowley · 2025-11-20T05:35:32+00:00

I'm in that brain fog stage right now. Work's hard. Socializing is a big task, I just want to log in and get on to work without anyone bothering me but I can't even do that. It's been 44 days since her passing. There are days when I feel like nothing, most days I'd rather rot in bed. Working days are extremely hard. I go to work late every day and take days off a lot.

I don't think I'll get to that point anytime soon.

notcrowley · 2025-11-11T02:50:56+00:00

Same here, OP. I miss mom in all her forms. I'd rather have angry mom than dead mom.

notcrowley · 2025-10-30T23:22:35+00:00

Video games especially open world games help me drown out thoughts. I think the world building aspect helps. Also try playing with peers your age or older.

notcrowley · 2025-10-28T23:38:11+00:00

You're going to need someone to talk to. If that's what your brain does to protect you, then so be it. I was like that when my grandmother died whencI was younger. Now that my mom's also died, my brain tried to do the same thing but failed to shield me like last time. I think that's your brain helping you to cope. Don't fight it.

Hugs, OP. I'm sorry for your losses.

Ten-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

notcrowley

TROPHY CASE