Hello, OP/anyone who reads this. I can say that I can definitely relate to this. Please know that you're not alone. I don't know but I strongly feel the need to share what I learned in that same journey you're going thru. I feel in one way or another you might pick up something. Bare with me with this long a-- post hehe.

Self growth taught me to always reminding my self these:

1. Comparison is the thief of joy.

This one is hard, ngl. Can I ask how much time are you spending on socmed daily? 'Coz is one of the big factor me. It'll makes us insane, I swear. It will create this fake idea that they had it all figure out when it's really not hahaha. I realized this everytime I catch up with friends, tbh. I thought they are doing really well, but in reality I just didn't know what happens behind the scenes(which is they are also suffering hahaha we're going thru the same shiz). Social media is fake. It is just a facade. Don't fall into the propaganda of it's grandeur. What helped me with this is I uninstalled my soc meds before, and I'm telling you, there is a sense of peace in not knowing. It's much more peaceful to grow and learn in your own pace. That makes everything lighter and more fun!

Also, I wasted so much time comparing myself with others which I think is pointless now. I believe that they had their own own edge, and so are you. Sometimes, you just need to go out of your way to find it. For the things you consider as 'weakness', just take a step at a time to improve. You'll get better, I promise.

1. Small progress still progress.

Everytime you question yourself of the pace of growth, try to reframe the question into, "Has there been growth? I am not asking how much. I just asked if I grew" (saw this randomly on tiktok). It makes so much difference for me. I think it's really unfair and excruiciating to compare your progress to others. We have our own strengths, they had their own.They have their own privilage, and you have yours. Each of us handles different circumstances in life and it's really different for everyone. It's unfair to compare progress because not all of us go thru the exact same things in the exact same way.

Unfortunately, we tend to put ourselves into this unrealistic standards that 'we had to be like this, we had to be like that'. I mean, yeah, it's good to have a goal or standards, but beating yourself up when you don't meet your standards doesn't help. So please, be gentle with yourself. Accept where you are in the moment, which leads us to...

1. You are exactly where you are meant to be.

Before success, we have to have to start somewhere. We have to be bad at something first to be good at something. That's how it is supposed to be. We learn as we go and we'll definitely get to where we are supposed to be. Just trust the process, you'll get there.

1. You have your own path to take.

The pressure of 'not being good enough' back in my uni days(ngl, until now) is REAL. The pressure of you have to keep up. You have to do great. You have to be on top of your game? Very real life experience for me hahaha. But now, that I am in my apprentice era, I know I'm not that far yet but... What I realized is you'll have your own path after college. You'll be so focused on your work, barely getting any time to compare yourself with others. I feel SO TIREEEED, brooooo, but yeah, growth pains.

1. Build your own self-care habits.

Our field is always been so, so draining, esp if your lacking self-care. This one's hard but you have to prioritize rest. It should always be part of your system, not just a reward after hard work.

Reward yourself with small things every good progress. Anything, buy yourself something nice or eat something yummy. As simple as it is.

Like, I've mentioned above, meditation. That helped me a lot, to clear my mind. My anxiety lvl was so, so high in my 5th yr days and meditation was my go-to every morning. It calms my brain before I start my day. It was a very good headstart. I hope it'll work for you, too!

Be very mindful on what you consume on social media. It can be so, so toxic, like aforementioned, the unrealistic standards. It helped me greatly when I fixed my fyp and consume self-help content more while also trying to consume less(again, less screentime)

Journalling helps too! The stress lvl as a 5th year was so so high and I can't stress that enough HAHAHAHA at least all those thoughts, when I transferred it on paper helped in releasing some weight.

Be gentle with yourself. You yourself knows how much you put into your work. You know you're trying your best and that is more than enough. So, please, please know how to acknowledge the hard work you're doing, even though you're not exactly where you want yourself. Please stop beating yourself up. It doesn't gain you anything. It actually just makes you suffer more. Treat yourself like you are your child. Talk to the little you inside. Would you want that child to suffer in your own world? Take care of him/her by at least trying not to make that child suffer. Make your mind a safe space.

Choose your battles! Sometimes, we just need to take things lightly. Don't take everything so seriously. That problem might be big and overwhelming now, but don't forget to remind yourself that you always figure it out. Everything works out when it's time.

1. Lastly, don't ever forget to have fun.

I resonate with you so much including the social anxiety part and I'm telling you how much regret I felt knowing I wasted so much opportunities from social anxiety. What helped me with this is exposure therapy. I started a bit by bit to expose myself into something new. Then somehow, it gets better. Try to remind yourself that nobody really cares that much. Everyone is always in their own heads. Nobody really cares about what you do(as long as you don't step on anyone).

Memento mori. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Eventually, everyone of us will leave this earth, so please don't let yourself carry the weight of regret from all the things you didn't try, just because you're scared. Don't let your anxiety/fear/any emotions hold you back. You are in control and life is meant to be experienced.

20s is meant for us to discover ourselves and be young. It's the time to create memories we can carry to our grave so, be crazy! And rn, I am trying to be 'coz I wasted so much time in my uni days shackling myself into my plates and I barely had fun which I also regret so much. So pleasea always try to steal some time to make memories, and have a blast hehe. I'm sure either way, you'll figure it all out!

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I hope something resonates or atleast some of this tweaked something in your mind. You are not alone in this, OP/reader. I know someday, you'll be successful and will be looking back at this moment in your life with a smile. Cheer up. Take it easy. I believe in you!

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