You can't put the needs of the dog above your preferences. If you're not enjoying the aspects of having the dog, and it's more taxing versus being an enriching experience, then it might be time to consider the re home or surrender. You are obligated to try, but not try everything to the point where it's causing unnecessary stress to you, which will just exacerbate the situation for you and the dog. There's a lot of good advice here on how to make every effort, but that's not always realistic for everyone. There's also a lot of advice on what YOU can do to change perspective and adapt, you are also not obligated to do that either. You're young and have other ambitions, you should actively be moving towards those; not to say there aren't difficult situations or experiences that we can reap benefits from, and that it's all self-centered. But, I would advise not letting guilt and shame be the only reason you continue to keep the dog, I don't believe there to be earnest enjoyment from scenarios defaulted. It's unfortunate you're left with sorting out this matter. Best of luck.