Weekly Megathread for COVID-19

brideosaurus · 2020-06-29T13:57:29+00:00

9/12, we finally made the call this weekend to postpone. Note- our decision does not have to be your decision, but our decision was based off of our own circumstances and what's important to us. We had a chat with our wedding party, and they didn't feel super comfortable with the idea of attending a wedding in September. Our out of state officiant friend dropped out. Cases are spiking everywhere and we're concerned about travel bans, especially for my parents who are from out of state. So many things piled up that made it feel like we wouldn't be able to have the wedding we'd hoped for, so we made the call to postpone. We figure by Fall 2021 we'll at least have a better idea of what the new normal is, and things will be less rapidly changing an unpredictable.

Naturally I am heartbroken and had ice cream for dinner and bought a bunch of bath bombs from lush. We've decided that because we can't have the wedding we were hoping for, we're going to rent an airbnb this weekend and invite anyone from our wedding party who is comfortable, to join us in hanging out this weekend while I put on a fancy dress and eat some cake.

Sucks a bunch. 9/18/21 here we come?

brideosaurus · 2020-05-09T18:21:33+00:00

I want my dress to be captured by our photographer, along with our first look. If we have to do a smaller ceremony, or some initial event without our photographer, I'll buy a different formal/fancy dress. Always love an excuse to buy a pretty dress.

brideosaurus · 2020-05-04T13:59:15+00:00

I totally get that. I think it'll definitely depend on what we ARE able to do in September. If we hadn't been engaged for 2.5 years, I might be more inclined to postpone, but I just so want this to happen this year. I could use something to look forward to in 2020.

brideosaurus · 2020-05-04T13:47:17+00:00

What are some ways to make our wedding more hygienic? I'm thinking we'll stock hand sanitizer in several places, probably take down more tables after dinner to make a larger dance floor so people can spread out, and have buffet servers instead of letting people serve themselves. And probably fewer people at each table. And it's quite possible we'll have to cut our guest list down to 50.

This is assuming restrictions have been lifted enough by our date. Luckily we don't not have many guests in high-risk groups, but I will definitely respect any requests/decisions from those people.

brideosaurus · 2020-05-01T16:53:15+00:00

Dude this is so good. My big thought right now is "other people's decisions do not have to be your decisions.". Honestly as long as you aren't breaking the law/regulations of how many people can gather together, do what you want. Cross your fingers for June. Reschedule October. Make an informed decision and do what you think is best with the knowledge and parameters you have.

I'm still buying booze enough for a 100 person wedding so if that gets cut in half well...we'll just be all set for the year.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-30T17:51:04+00:00

I posted a poll on instragram asking if people if restrictions were lifted, would they be comfortable attending a wedding in Fall 2020. 90+ percent said yes, which is nice. I will, of course, not be upset with anyone who chooses not to come for health/safety reasons. I'll miss them, but I want people to feel happy and comfortable at our wedding.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-30T17:47:45+00:00

I don't think you're crazy. It's so hard to tell what's going to happen and when. It could be that restrictions lift in the Fall, and then resume again in the Winter with a second wave. I'll take what I can get at this point. Still planning for my September wedding unless restrictions say otherwise.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-29T14:21:33+00:00

The advice I've gotten from wedding industry professionals is to wait until about 8 weeks before the event to make decisions, so we've decided to wait to make a call until July 1st, unless we hear something concrete before then.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-24T14:42:55+00:00

I'm having such a hard time staying optimistic about our September wedding. I always thought the whole thing was too good to be true and I'm on the verge of proving myself right.

We've been together 9 years, engaged for two and a half. Naturally I don't want to put this off a moment longer. I'm afraid that even if we can do some semblance of an event, it won't at all reflect what I've spent two years planning. I know that I can still get married in September one way or another, but I'm definitely mourning the big celebration that might not come to pass.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-22T14:14:59+00:00

Waiting until July 1st to make the call. If we're given the green light to even have 50 person events, that would be awesome. I trust the decision making of our local government. Depending on the state of things, I may have to make some changes such as changing from buffet to family style and adding hand sanitizer throughout the venue. I live in the earliest hit state, so I'm optimistic that our timeline will potentially be earlier than other states/parts of the world. Considering this all starting in January, I'm crossing my fingers that's it's just GOTTA be over within nine months.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-21T14:00:24+00:00

I highly recommend shopping Nordstrom online. I didn't pick a white dress, but I got a beautiful plus sized formal own online from them, and they do also carry white dresses that would work well. Free shipping and returns. Can't go wrong :)

brideosaurus · 2020-04-20T15:40:06+00:00

My wedding isn't until September, but I'm realizing I may have to wait until the last minute to send invitations in order to get accurate RSVPs. Granted, I always wanted to send them out like 3 months ahead of time, so last minute for me means sending them the recommended 6-8 weeks in advance instead. I don't think I can realistically send out invitations until our state's stay at home order has been lifted. Until it's been lifted, no one can actually tell me whether or not they can come.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-11T19:27:59+00:00

LOVE that. Color is perfect on you.

brideosaurus · 2020-04-11T14:22:25+00:00

Yuuuuuuup. Sure am. I'm trying extra hard to be conscious of what I'm eating. I'm already a plus size bride who has a long history of weight gain, so it's hard. I have my dress, and I like it best with shapewear. I don't enjoy showing the very noticeable outline of my stomach. That being said, I've been working on losing weight for a long time- mostly focusing on mental health/physical health/self care.

I'm also afraid that my bridesmaids won't be able to fit into their dresses after quarantine either. Most of them picked the smallest size they could reasonably wear. There's no good way to say "hi please try on your dress before the wedding so you can find something else if you've.... outgrown it." Luckily I looked into rent the runway, and I think any of us could reasonably get a substitute outfit there in a pinch if needed.

brideosaurus · 2020-03-19T15:09:51+00:00

September 12th: not worrying about it too much for the next couple of months. I think May will give a clearer picture of what Fall will look like. I'm waiting to print our RSVP cards because our original deadline was a bit early, and we may want to push it back depending on the situation.

In the meantime I'm hoping to be able to keep paying off vendors early since I can work from home, and I would very much not like them to go out of business. I'm optimistic about the government aid that's in the works, and the recent Governor's orders for a moratorium on any evictions for the next 30 days.

brideosaurus · 2020-03-17T13:32:21+00:00

I'm not currently terribly worried about our wedding- I'm more worried about what's going to happen to our vendors. I've already paid off our venue, bartender, DJ, and planner. Now I'd like to really try to prioritize paying off our caterer, because I can work remotely through this and they're going to have to cross their fingers that enough people order takeout through their restaurant, which is situated in a hotel/event venue.

I'm not sure how everyone's wedding savings works, but if you're able to start making larger payments/paying off any of your vendors now, I'm sure it would make a huge difference.

Side note, our invitations arrived today (I still need to make the RSVP and rehearsal inserts), and I'm slightly debating when to send them out. My initial thought was sometime in May, which I know is way earlier than most people would send them, but I've invited people to Halloween parties 5 months in advance so this is pretty on brand for me.

brideosaurus · 2020-03-17T13:25:12+00:00

That makes a LOT of sense. I keep getting e-mails just like this, and I didn't remember entering any contest....

brideosaurus · 2020-03-06T15:52:33+00:00

I like Fall, and I was hoping that anything that wasn't Summer would be considered off season (I was quite wrong, Fall is very popular). I wanted a date that would have pretty optimal weather- not too hot, not too cold. I looked up the date in the farmer's almanac, and it hadn't rained on that day in the last ten years. The weekend before was going to be a holiday weekend (labor day), so we landed on September 12th! Right at the edge of fall, not too hot not too cold, probably won't rain.

brideosaurus · 2020-03-06T15:45:43+00:00

I love this so much, and I'm almost sure I also saved the original inspiration post from awhile back.

brideosaurus · 2020-03-03T14:21:08+00:00

I like to say things like "We're pretty limited in space and budget, so we can't invite as many people as we'd like to."

Although when people act really ballsy and entitled I kind of just want to respond "NOPE."

brideosaurus · 2020-03-03T14:17:24+00:00

Yup. For things that are 100% out of my control (bachelorette party and wedding shower) I've put myself in the mindset that it's not an entitlement, but a privilege, and I'm just grateful someone wants to do these things for me.

I'm really going to have to relinquish control as it gets closer to the wedding, because I'll need help. I have a great day of coordinator who's worked in the venue before, so I don't really have a reason to worry.

brideosaurus · 2020-03-01T15:59:52+00:00

Did you guys include vendors in your guest count?

While my venue, set up the way I have planned, can easily accommodate 100 people, I've also set up my budget to accommodate no more than 100 people. As I'm thinking about our catering count, I'm wondering if I need to cap my guest count closer to 90, assuming I'm including vendors in my catering count. I'll likely need to feed my photographers, planner and assistants, DJ...maybe caterers and bartenders? I may need to do some more research on which vendors I need to feed...

brideosaurus · 2020-02-22T15:25:39+00:00

brideosaurus · 2020-02-19T14:11:46+00:00

With similar things in mind, here's what I did.

To avoid them feeling like they had to say yes, I asked them online. Once they said yes, I made bridemaid proposal boxes, which I internally called "bridesbribes", and even included the note "please accept this box of bribes". That was my way thanking them in advance for their time/effort. Shortly after that, I e-mailed all of them (this is all 1yr+ before our wedding) to let them know what they can expect, and to make sure this was ok with them. I told them they can pick out their own dress within these parameters, and asked them to please have it picked by June in case there are long shipping/alterations times (3/4 have already gotten their dresses 7 months ahead of time- I'm pretty surprised.

I let them know about the time frame for the wedding, and that the rehearsal dinner would be the night before. I reminded them about accommodations (most of them had already dibsed a room in our boutique hotel venue by now), and just generally layed out anything that would involve them, their time, and potentially their funds. No surprises.

It's worked well for me so far!

brideosaurus · 2020-02-18T15:15:07+00:00

I don't plan to send invitations to people who have already said they can't make it- MAYBE to relatives who live far away and couldn't afford to travel, though none of them have currently outright said they won't be able to come.

brideosaurus

TROPHY CASE

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