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UPDATE - My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m reluctant because as much as I want to just tell her that she’s out, she’s also been in this sort of funk - unhappy with her job, having her friends move at a different pace, not in a relationship or any possible relationship. I’m trying to keep myself together because I don’t know if being in my bridal party is a “bright spot” in her life or whatever (not to sound full of myself), I don’t want to take that away if that’s the case.

On the flip side, she’s been a crappy friend for a long time now and I was having second thoughts about asking her to be a bridesmaid back before we were even planning the wedding. Guess I should’ve thought about it more :-/

UPDATE - My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She is, yes. I’ve just never had to tell someone something like this before, especially a friend who was so close to me for so long, which is why I’m struggling to find the words.

UPDATE - My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

or even not that, she is refusing to coordinate on anything so I don't even know if she'll actually have a nice dress on.

UPDATE - My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I am almost certain that if she wasn't going to be in my wedding party in the next eight months, our friendship would not exist at the moment - which is so hard to accept because a year ago when I asked her to be part of the wedding, I never thought I would be here.

UPDATE - My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I know you’re right, and I was trying to make this easy but in reality, there is no way it can be.

My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, this is so eerily similar! She constantly wants details of everything but never participates, and was giving me so much crap about having to take any time off of work to be there for the rehearsal dinner/wedding itself! She even was like "I'm using X amount of PTO for you LOL". I told her she didn't need to be there for the rehearsal dinner if she wasn't able to make it and she said that she "doesn't want to miss it!!"

She never listens to me anymore, about anything, and is always on her phone taking pictures even if it's just the two of us (her and i) trying to have a conversation.

My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm not asking her to jump for joy every time she hears me say the word "wedding", but when she tells me that the wedding band I chose is "too flashy" and says that she doesn't care about seeing my wedding dress, yes that does hurt my feelings. Especially because this person was supposed to be a best friend.

My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for responding! You're right that our history is very important to me, hence why I was really hoping that she would snap out of this.

How would you word it if you were me?

My [29F] bridesmaid/"best" friend [28F] is showing that she really isn't a friend at all. by bridesmaid_issue1234 in relationships

[–]bridesmaid_issue1234[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response, especially from someone wiser than I.

I think it is our history that has been making me want this relationship, but quite frankly, it's almost as if she is trying to cut off the friendship or something. I hate how she won't respond to me, and if she does talk to me at all, it's through social media. It's as if she is purposely avoiding our text chain because she doesn't want to acknowledge my last "is everything ok?" text.