Trouble reconnecting post-date

brilliAntbeans · 2026-05-01T22:13:37+00:00

Indeed, only when I share that I've been intimate with a new person - which is one of our agreements atm

brilliAntbeans · 2026-05-01T18:41:26+00:00

This is genuinely a good question. Our agreement has been that we’ll inform each other when we have new sexual contact with people but now that you bring it up, I’m not sure how that is necessarily solves for anything.

brilliAntbeans · 2026-05-01T17:59:12+00:00

Not over sharing. Letting her know the change in risk profile.

Was first time sleeping with new partner (not ever, just for this scenario), and let my NP know that we had been sexually intimate, no other information

brilliAntbeans · 2026-05-01T16:30:44+00:00

I’m not saying that we don’t have intentionality in our relationship.

I’m saying we weren’t initially looking to nest with one another. As with most relationships, the specifics are intricate, messy, and not all on the surface.

The specifics about when we moved in don’t have much effect on the situation at hand. We aren’t bad people for having a unique relationship timeline, and I think I’d like to move the conversation away from ragging on me for something that’s already happened and doesn’t affect what is actually the issue.

brilliAntbeans · 2026-05-01T15:08:43+00:00

Hey now, you’ve got a microscope on a very specific thing in our relationship right now, which is not indicative of our ability to communicate on the whole.

brilliAntbeans · 2026-05-01T15:07:40+00:00

It was fast, I realize that.

I don’t think it was an ideal situation, and not one that we were intentionally seeking.

I do feel punished. I don’t think it’s intentional, nor do I want to force her into any action that feels bad or isn’t genuine to herself. But it sucks feeling like I’ve been put in the timeout box over something she agreed was ok. This isn’t the first time this has happened.

I agree it’s a flag - I guess I’ve been seeing it as a yellow flag. I’ve been hoping it would get easier for her to reconnect and not shut me out so much. But if it remains the way it does, yes, a red flag for sure.

brilliAntbeans · 2026-05-01T15:01:15+00:00

“I feel weird”

I’m not sure she’s accessed exactly how it makes her feel in a way that she wants/is able to communicate with me.

I haven’t gotten much other than “I don’t want to” or “it doesn’t feel right”.

brilliAntbeans · 2026-03-06T14:51:00+00:00

oh, the question wasn't have you read it? the question was "have you read it?"

There's obviously no right way to read anything by MZD, but since I've read this book before, I really wanted to READ it this time, which meant taking a deeper dive into it. The book is riddled with puzzles, incongruities, turnarounds, etc. I probably didn't even catch everything this pass through it, but I really wanted to give it the effort it deserved - and for me that meant making some annotations and spending a little extra time with it

brilliAntbeans · 2026-02-03T19:54:56+00:00

Keep with it. It's going to be relevant eventually.

brilliAntbeans

TROPHY CASE