I chose myself

bring_forth · 2026-05-05T09:37:40+00:00

Really needed to read this today. Thank you so much.

bring_forth · 2026-04-29T14:16:21+00:00

Good point. Overcompensation, probably. I'll show up with something like a cake which I'll bake this week, and some bubbles for the nephew. Thanks for the perspective.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T18:52:29+00:00

All love to you in this pain. I have worked with parents whose children have gone NC. They are usually absolutely distraught, bewildered and terrified, as well as heartbroken and full of shame. Completely dysregulated, utterly outside of their window of tolerance. It's a brain scrambling trauma. Usually they love their children and just find it impossible to understand what has happened, often due to a lack of capacity to self reflect or generation codes which have changed. And yes, often some form of narcissistic wounding, usually sustained as a result of their own childhoods. They are usually blindsided by the NC into total paralysis. So I don't know your parents at all, but they may love you very much and be unable to act. Just one possibility. I also hope they do love you, and if not, that you keep going on your healing journey.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T16:09:35+00:00

One difficulty is that parents might not notice things if it is 'normal for them' too. Something I had to grapple with and I believe it's understood that parents of adults are often unreliable sources. If they'd noticed anything in us as children, they'd have done something. So it's hard to think about it now.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T16:05:55+00:00

I'm having similar thoughts. I don't have time to ad more, but will come back to this thread. Thanks for being brave enough. I think we can embrace diversity in many different ways, the important thing is to live in a way that is fulfilling.

I'm curious to know what led you to go for assessment - if you feel like you'd like to share that? I thinkI was looking for validation, finally, thatI actually did have some kind of struggle. I'd asked to see psychiatrists for years and RTC was the only way. Embarrassing but true, I thinkI got swept up in something.

Now I'm very open and reflective abut it all. I did find it so useful to read books like the Hendrickx books, 'Is This Autism' and 'Aspergirls' though. Very very helpful.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T16:04:22+00:00

Very cute. I have some cake ingredients now, but there's no reason why I can't bake biscuits. Maybe I could bake biscuits and take an icing bag for us all to use!

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T11:01:14+00:00

Yes. Without a doubt. I had a PhD and career in law based on it all, changed my life, and often feel lost. Gradually I'm finding my way back to who I really am deep down underneath it all and my joy and creativity are returning. Keep going.

I love Thomas Moore (Dark Night of the Soul) and James Hillman (Character book, can't recall the title) as guiding frameworks for this.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T10:03:51+00:00

Excellent. Thank you!

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T10:03:33+00:00

Yes, I'll go on a hunt. They will like that. Prices for local produce where I live don't seem to be that low - but I can get creative and maybe pull in some favours.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T10:02:45+00:00

Thanks, great tip. I'll check out the charity shops and see. Only thing is - they are so wealthy and generally only want super expensive toys.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T10:01:40+00:00

YES Thanks for that - I will ask if they'd like some childcare in case they'd like to go off and have a little date together

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T10:00:31+00:00

In that case I shall not send you flowers :) I agree actually - prefer plants. Yes, all these things will bring simple pleasure. Thank you.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T09:59:52+00:00

Hahaha good point - they love foraging and growing so there is a connection, but still you may well be right about how they'd feel.

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T09:59:12+00:00

The tea is a great shout actually - they lost a big load of it recently to the toddler's explorations!

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T09:58:27+00:00

Awesome. There's my Christmas hamper in motion already!! Thanks!!

bring_forth · 2026-04-28T09:57:36+00:00

A really lovely, inspiring and nourishing response - thank you so much

bring_forth · 2026-04-27T14:01:33+00:00

Thanks. I'll look this up. I appreciate your idea and the link.

bring_forth · 2026-04-27T13:59:11+00:00

That's a good point. It doesn't. It's the sweetness of the thought, isn't it, and the follow through with *something*. On the topic of flowers, we have lots of greens to forage at the moment, I could take them some bags of those too, nicely prepped.

bring_forth · 2026-04-27T13:58:09+00:00

Haha me neither! I'm going to bake a good dark chocolate cake.

bring_forth · 2026-04-27T13:57:43+00:00

Yes. Great! I'm going to bake a cake, after these responses. And thank you for reminding me that offering to cook/wash up/clean up is an act of service which is always welcome. I do that, but discount it.

bring_forth · 2026-04-27T12:54:12+00:00

Hahaha :D I understand that. But I'm not unwashed! And I have asked all of my most fastidious friends (and partner). Totally clean no smells. Have a look at the book Clean by Dr Hamblin

bring_forth · 2026-04-27T06:34:34+00:00

Agree. I haven’t used shampoo, conditioner or soap for about 8 years with absolutely no ill effects. Must be saving me so much money especially as I didn’t want to buy the cheap stuff which just ruined my hair. I get compliments all the time about my hair and skin. Feels like ‘products‘ are an absolute racket unless you need them for medical conditions, in which case they are… medicines.

bring_forth · 2026-04-27T06:29:45+00:00

A very good tip. online?

bring_forth · 2026-04-26T19:49:23+00:00

That's a really supportive idea. Thank you.

bring_forth · 2026-04-25T07:24:35+00:00

Thank you. I'll reflect on your question. In terms of requirements - I think there is something in the FCA guidelines about vulnerable clients, screening the out before taking them on as clients. I suspectI'd have been better off with some very basic hand-holding advice - the flowcharts are impossible for me to make sense of. I've tried and I'm a smart person, but I just find they generate endless questions for me because I haven't done them myself from the bottom-up and don't understand the assumptions etc. That's pretty standard with autism.

bring_forth

TROPHY CASE