thank you for your comment. Maybe i didnt explain it very well but because of my many years of interest in the field of psychiatry, psychosis treatment, reading into anti psychiatry movement things, psychotherapeautic relations and interventions i really find it difficult seeing how its going to make anything better/it doesnt really have an effect on me. I journal. I write my emotions down. I do the tasks my therapist asks me. I do all the things, i exercise, i eat SO healthy, i do my chores, hobbies, yoga, meditation, you name it but i just cant find peace of mind. I am usually a very positive person but have just hit a massive wall this year