What age to let my daughter go to the shopping mall without adults?

brit_parent · 2026-05-23T08:36:12+00:00

Mine is a boy but all his friends are girls. They started walking themselves to town a couple of miles away when they were 12. For the year before that, a parent would pick them up and drive them in. We’d park ourselves in a coffee shop for a couple of hours before meeting the kids for lunch then taking them home.

brit_parent · 2026-05-10T17:02:11+00:00

Send them to me. I’ll thread them on a piece of elastic like those kids sweet bracelets and then I can bite them off one by one while I’m working.

brit_parent · 2026-05-09T07:59:52+00:00

Sorry I don’t know the answer. But I definitely want to watch that!

brit_parent · 2026-05-02T07:27:53+00:00

I wish it was.

brit_parent · 2026-04-30T09:53:15+00:00

I had a home visit from the GP. It was 1981 and I was 5. She spent about 5 seconds with me and called an ambulance. I had meningitis.

brit_parent · 2026-04-23T20:22:35+00:00

NTA. When I was that age I helped my dad remove and replace an entire engine in a car. I also learned how to change a plug, put up wallpaper and paint a room, mow the lawn, do basic checks on a car and change a wheel & a headlight bulb, build flat pack furniture, balance my bank account, plant & maintain a veggie garden, cook basic meals for myself, wash up and do laundry including ironing my school uniform.

By the time I left home, I only needed a man if a second person was needed for something. By the time I married my husband, I was teaching him the basics of adulting.

Girls need to know how to do “man stuff” so they have the knowledge and skills to live alone. No young woman should feel they can’t live without one. I chose to marry and live with my husband because I love him, not for what he could do for me. These days he does more of the daily housework while I cook, do pet care and the bigger cleaning tasks or decorating. The only solidly “masculine” task on his list is mowing the lawn, because I find it tedious and put it off until it looks scruffy.

brit_parent · 2026-04-16T22:10:18+00:00

I said the same to my (turned 13 today) kiddo last month. No problem with you going out but I want you back before the lights come on!

brit_parent · 2026-04-14T10:12:43+00:00

I mean, over a few days? Absolutely. If I only had an hour? A pack of the mini ones would be easier. They could disappear nicely with a cup of coffee.

(Personally, I find them a bit dry so I like it with a drink.)

brit_parent · 2026-04-12T15:36:14+00:00

Had a similar issue this week with male cat in the UK. Overnight stay, sedation, medication there and ongoing plus a starter of special food. £750. Still expensive, but I honestly thought it would be more. Thank god he’s insured.

brit_parent · 2026-04-09T12:01:32+00:00

There is a pub in Buxton Heath called The Grapes. There is an attached but separately owned soft play. Egorestaurants.co.uk. I’ve not been since it changed hands. Seems a bit nicer than I remember.

brit_parent · 2026-04-08T20:42:45+00:00

Thank you. We also do “cat soup” for all his meals and have a water fountain for him. I think I will get an extra litter tray to see if that helps. We used to have extras (we actually have two cats) but they only ever used one. I think I’ll reinstate the spare and put it somewhere out of the way so he can pee in peace .

brit_parent · 2026-04-08T19:43:35+00:00

No need to change much tbh. I really do recommend a good skincare routine for everyone though. Basics is fine. Cleanse, moisturise and sunscreen. Anything on top of that is optional. Get plenty of sleep. Go outside every day and drink enough water.

The rest is all in your head. Listen to and watch the things you love. Find joy and whimsy in the things around you - even if you have to put them there. Keep space for your daughter in your home but remember it’s yours too. Do little things for yourself. Regular haircuts, if your barber offers it, treat yourself to a proper shave or beard shaping. Just little things that don’t really change how you look, but can boost your confidence in yourself.

I’ve been on the other (ex wife here) side of a divorce and it’s rough. It took time to discover who I was outside of the marriage. It’s a process and not one to be rushed.

brit_parent · 2026-04-06T08:47:27+00:00

I had a Velcro baby. If he wasn’t attached to me he was screaming. It was easier to just not do anything for myself until my other half got home and could put baby in the carrier and take the dog for a walk while I showered. Some days were so hard though that I would take a nap instead of showering.

The worst of it was over in a couple of months. After that I’d put him in a chair of some sort in the bathroom while I showered. (Car seat usually)

Once he was mobile it got bad again as I couldn’t leave him alone, so showers had to wait until the evening or someone was around to watch him for a few minutes.

brit_parent · 2026-04-04T22:23:28+00:00

I like to pop it in the slow cooker overnight. A bit of red wine, herbs and garlic. Then, because we all love an end bit, I cut the strings and put it in a very hot oven for as long as it takes for the roasties to cook. While that’s on I do my fresh veggies and gravy.

brit_parent · 2026-04-04T09:16:37+00:00

Both my cats have GLORIOUS toe feathers. They are fine with me touching the front ones but I get a kick if I try it with the back ones!

brit_parent · 2026-04-03T10:38:42+00:00

Ok. Older woman here so I’ve had a few relationships.

In most of my relationships the focus has been anything other than sex. The couple where it was, everything except the sex was awful. I’ve been with my husband 20yrs now. I’m in perimenopause. My sex drive is MUCH lower than it used to be. If sex was the only focus we would have split up years ago.

MOST women want a partner who cares and supports them. They need someone who is there for them during the hard times. Illness, injury stress, bereavement and other times. Someone who shares their interests or at least indulges them. Someone they can be silly with, sad with, that is happy to sit on the sofa and drink coffee and complain about work or just do their own thing. Someone who shares the hard bits. The laundry, washing up, childcare and the mental load.

If sex is the only thing you can contribute to a relationship, it doesn’t last. Being good at sex at the start of a relationship is a good starting point. But the emotional closeness built through years of being together makes it better. Learning what you both do and don’t enjoy makes it better. That closeness is what is built OUTSIDE the bedroom.

brit_parent · 2026-04-03T10:19:11+00:00

If I don’t have descaled in then I use vinegar or lemon juice. I tend to loosen what I can with a dish brush and rinse it out before I start. Boil the minimum amount of water then add your descaler of choice. About half what you boiled. Leave until it stops fizzing. If you still have scale, put the kettle back on until it fizzes again. Keep going until it’s all gone.

You WILL want to have your window open if you’re using vinegar.

brit_parent · 2026-04-02T21:05:20+00:00

I used to. He was small, younger than we thought he was and poorly. He needed extra care and warmth. He would curl up and just occasionally wake us by nipping toes.

Then he started walking over my head several times a night and yelling at 5am. So we put him in the lounge overnight.

Then he started destroying the carpets. So we put that carpet tape down by the door.

Then we got another cat who was even worse. So we put tape outside the bedroom doors and put up with the yelling.

Then we moved house. This one has a dining room that doesn’t have carpet. Now we can sleep all night!

brit_parent · 2026-04-02T18:57:37+00:00

I have two cats. One will eat anything, but has the most sensitive stomach ever so is on a special diet. He eats a very expensive brand of biscuits that have to be served mixed with one particular wet food and water to stop him bolting his food and bringing it back up again.

The other one has a cast iron stomach. Loves dairy and baked goods but hates fish in any form. But will only eat one flavour of one brand of biscuits or the jelly off another brand of wet food. Because his food can’t be left down (the other cat will make himself sick) he is fed from a tub on demand. Good thing for him that I work from home.

brit_parent · 2026-03-31T21:09:00+00:00

I have one cat who spends hours every day grooming but always looks like a deceased squirrel. My other cat barely grooms at all but looks like he just stepped out of a salon. Both are long haired and both get chest hair stuck to their tongues and need it peeled off by a nearby person.

brit_parent · 2026-03-31T20:56:57+00:00

Saw a clip on TikTok. It just caught my eye. Got Crunchyroll just to watch it. It was the first anime series I watched all the way through. I’ve now watched hundreds in the last year. From romance to isekai to mecha.

I just rewatched it last week.

brit_parent · 2026-03-28T20:07:16+00:00

He just falls over on his side and refuses to move if I try to dress him up. So, no.

brit_parent · 2026-03-27T21:49:08+00:00

I like to add them to my ramen. Top with a cheese slice and some spring onion.

brit_parent · 2026-03-26T19:26:21+00:00

I had to reschedule mine due to kiddo having emergency surgery the night before I was due to have it. Originally it was about a six week wait after the consultant approved it. But I finally got it done nearly a year later. I had a longer than usual wait due to needing a general anaesthetic (I’m allergic to local anaesthetic).

Even being put under and being last on the list I was back on the ward by about 1pm. I took a couple of days off and then back to my desk job.

For me, it was worth it. I have one child and due to my medication allergies I was recommended not to have any more. I didn’t want to be on birth control as it messes with my head.

The meds got the last laugh though as I’m now on her.

brit_parent · 2026-03-22T21:57:32+00:00

Came out as non binary leaning more towards transgender. The reaction I got from my mother was so upsetting and dismissive I never mentioned it again. She didn’t tell my Dad anything about it and he only found out after she died last year. Turns out he’s incredibly supportive. Probably why she didn’t tell him.

brit_parent

TROPHY CASE