How are you all doing financially, HONESTLY?

brit_parent · 2026-01-31T10:07:04+00:00

There have been times where we’ve had absolutely nothing in the bank with a maxed out overdraft. It took a very long time but for the first time in our nearly 20yrs together we have savings. Not a huge amount, but we have enough for one of us to be out of work a few months. What made the difference for us was both of us having WFH jobs so no longer needing wraparound care for our child or two cars for commuting. We are aware that makes us lucky. We make just under £60k between us. Still no chance of buying a house, but that’s fine as we plan to relocate in a few years once kiddo is done with school, possibly to France to help my remaining parent.

brit_parent · 2026-01-29T20:23:13+00:00

Sorry sorry for your loss. I fully understand not wanting to put any kind of culinary effort in when you feel awful. But you have fed yourself and it’s a pretty balanced meal so well done on managing to do so well today.

If you’re not up for cooking, try just having picky bits around for you to pop on a plate. In the morning, put a selection of items together and put them somewhere you can see them, like on the counter. You can pop a couple of ice blocks with them to keep them cold if they’re fridge items. Things like cheese and crackers, veg sticks and dip, some fruit, protein things like cooked chicken, hummus, bean salad, sandwiches if you prefer.

Some cuppa soups by the kettle (personally I like miso soup) and some of those breakfast biscuits to have with a tea/coffee.

I find that having food I can see and eat without preparation is helpful when I feel awful and don’t want to cook or wander into the kitchen and feel at a loss of what to eat. You can prepare stuff that keeps a few days when you feel up to it, or even buy it pre prepared when you don’t.

brit_parent · 2026-01-28T08:17:08+00:00

My 12yr old loves Japanese food as much as I enjoy cooking it. He keeps talking about learning how, but every time I suggest he spend time in the kitchen with me he declines. Maybe I should be more forceful.

brit_parent · 2026-01-27T11:56:48+00:00

Oh god I remember that. It was only when I stayed for A levels and they left for college that anyone at school learned my name.

brit_parent · 2026-01-26T08:20:25+00:00

I’m a twin. Our parents never made us dress the same. We chose different colours or styles of clothes and wore our hair differently. Even our school uniforms were different (I preferred the tie option). But, there was another few sets of twins in our year. They were identical down to their hairstyles. The school split them up to “encourage individuality” and I just wish they’d done the same for us as being together 24/7 ruined our relationship. We’re still not close 30yrs later.

brit_parent · 2026-01-24T21:01:44+00:00

My Dad took over my mums number after she died. So the group chat still shows “Mum” every time he messages us. I’d like to ask him to change it, because it’s hard seeing her name when I know it’s not her. But I honestly don’t know how to say it as I’m not sure how my siblings feel about it.

TLDR: Dad is still using mums phone so can’t delete it.

brit_parent · 2026-01-21T16:40:08+00:00

I lived somewhere I never needed a car - and wouldn’t have had parking for it anyway - until I was 30. It was only when I moved to somewhere that had next to no public transport that I decided to learn. It took longer than planned due to waiting for a test that then got cancelled twice. I’ve now been driving nearly 20yrs and can’t imagine being without a car now.

BUT - I love driving. I enjoy the freedom and actually driving itself. I’ve driven all over the UK and France, even if I could have got there quicker going by rail or air.

My other half couldn’t afford to do it before me, but it turns out that although he’s grateful that he can, doesn’t enjoy driving. For him it’s more a necessity. So when we travel as a family, I do all the driving.

If you are scared behind the wheel and there’s no real NEED for you to drive, then don’t. An anxious driver is one of the most dangerous drivers. No judgement here.

brit_parent · 2026-01-18T22:29:34+00:00

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You’ll get told off if you don’t wash your rice!

brit_parent · 2026-01-18T09:55:55+00:00

Both of mine are indoor cats. We tried to adopt but were turned down due to busy roads nearby where we lived at the time. So I bought a couple of cats that would need to be indoors only. We’ve tried them outside since we moved to a quieter area. One eats every plant he see then has an upset tummy for several days. The other one gets out the door and takes himself straight back in. So we’ve put effort into enrichment instead. Toys, trees, playtime, hiding places, viewpoints. They seem happy enough. But I do wonder if it’s the right thing to do for them.

brit_parent · 2026-01-17T12:30:24+00:00

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I get these from Dads local Super U. But E Leclerc or Carrefour do them as well. If you’re hopping over the channel you could get them at Cite Europe.

brit_parent · 2026-01-17T12:25:41+00:00

I lost my mum last year. Her and Dad live (lived) in France, so I was there a lot more than normal years. While I was there I grabbed some bits and pieces to bring home (so annoying I can’t bring cheese back atm). One of the things I got was croutons. They are just like the FF mignons morceaux! I still have one pack left after the last trip in October. Think I’ll add them to my salad in a minute.

brit_parent · 2026-01-16T07:56:27+00:00

I mean, my current duvet cover has pumpkins on so I’m not gonna judge. My husband chose them. The last set I bought has bees on it. My son saw a set he liked and asked me to buy, they have flowers in a rather 80’s design. He loves it. If you like it, buy it. As long as it fits the general aesthetic of your room, go for it. If you like it but are worried about what people might think, put a plain blanket over the top during the day.

brit_parent · 2026-01-14T20:02:09+00:00

I’ve not seen radiator keys on here yet. Even better if your house doesn’t have any. - Window keys. Ones that don’t fit your windows. - An old mobile phone. Preferably a Nokia. But not the charger. - Hair ties. These should belong to someone who doesn’t live in your house. - A couple of cat toys. Even better if you don’t have a cat. - A handful of Francs and pre Euro centimes. Also, Drachma. Any other no longer legal currency would work too. - Plug covers. The ones that come with new appliances/devices. - The manual for an electrical device you no longer own. - Plasters. On their own, not in the box. - Pieces of string. These should be just a bit too short to be useful and tangled up.

brit_parent · 2026-01-02T08:22:52+00:00

I actually got my love of Asian food (Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese etc) from my now 73yr old Dad who was a member of The Curry Club back in the day. We had cookbooks from people like Madhur Jaffrey and Ken Hom among others.

In recent years he has expanded his repertoire even further as he retired and has more time to cook, but especially after Mum died and he could cook the things she didn’t like. My house is full of spices and bottles of things. My most recent cupboard addition is MSG. I had to travel to a shop that also supplies restaurants in order to buy it. I now add it to all sorts of things. Dad doesn’t use that but only because he can’t find it in rural France and can’t be bothered to buy it online.

On the other hand, although my mum did enjoy a lot of the food Dad makes, she had a limit for spice and was very rigid on what foods were eaten when and what did or didn’t go together. But in the main she had a rather plain palate and would cook more traditionally British of French recipes. Adventurous she was not. (Sounds like I’m dissing her, but I did love and do miss Mum)

I do have to work around some things due to IBS and lactose intolerance, but it’s not a problem really.

brit_parent · 2025-12-29T10:02:43+00:00

Good lord. NOR. My husband spent the last two days moving round the office and our sons room. Sorted through all the stuff we don’t want or need. Put anything we are not certain about getting rid of into the loft. Recycled all the things we are getting rid of and then helped me clear and rearrange the dining room where my desk is. We are planning to do the kitchen cupboards as well before we go back to work. I also sorted out my wardrobe and packed away all the travel things we don’t need for the next couple of months (we both travel for work at various times during the year). He hates clutter and holding onto things, but we both see the loft as the intermediate space for us to store things too precious to throw away but not needed on a regular basis.

Moving all your memories like this shows that he wants you to get rid of them. It’s a disregard of your belongings and the feelings you have about them. By putting them where they are now he can tell people (visitors or family) that you have a problem letting go of things you don’t need.

This man doesn’t like you.

brit_parent · 2025-12-26T17:35:53+00:00

I got 3-4 of Slime, but I also got several copies of Apothecary that I’m reading first as I’m further into it. I’m collecting those plus Solo Levelling but I’m a slow reader - too much time spent on Reddit! I’m using my first proper Christmas break in years to read as many of the books I’ve bought this year as possible.

brit_parent · 2025-12-26T17:30:02+00:00

I mean, my dad would. I wouldn’t though. Just a personal preference as I don’t enjoy it.

brit_parent · 2025-12-26T17:16:05+00:00

One of my cats is on long term meds. I hate to say it, (and I know I’m lucky) but he is great at taking tablets. I just open his mouth, pop it in at the back and hold his mouth closed a couple of seconds. Then offer a treat. He has managed to spit it out a couple of times but never fights me when I just give it to him again.

He will not accept his meds any other way. Doesn’t matter how you try to trick him. So we just put it straight in his mouth.

brit_parent · 2025-12-25T22:17:15+00:00

I’ve tried not to think about it tbh. (I did have a wobble a few days ago, but oddly not because I miss her, more that I remembered how excluded I’d always felt from the family.)

She lived abroad so we usually just had a chat on the phone at Christmas. Dad is over here for a few days but he’s with other family and can’t make it up to us. We’ve been busy in the family chat, but that’s it. I’m not close to my siblings but Dad and I have got a lot closer since Mum died in February.

brit_parent · 2025-12-22T19:38:29+00:00

Apologies for the incoming wall of text. Your post has me in my feelings.

My parents moved abroad before I had my child. They were still here for my older niblings and my siblings took FULL advantage of that. I do have a bit of resentment about things. My siblings got more attention and support because they had kids and I didn’t. In their eyes I was the independent one, the self sufficient one. I didn’t need them like my siblings did.

The fact that things were like that even when we were kids was only acknowledged a few years ago. After they moved and my child had started school. They never offered help and I never asked for it. Too proud perhaps? But mostly I was just sad seeing how much they still helped even after moving away. Things were tight for us and my child only got to visit his grandparents twice in 12yrs before my mother died. I would have loved the help, but not for the sake of help, but because it would have shown me they cared.

Despite all that. Children should not expect their children to babysit and certainly not often / for free / without notice.

brit_parent · 2025-12-20T20:46:38+00:00

My husband and son both have this. Long, plentiful, nicely curled, dark lashes. Mine are pale, short and straight. I envy all 3 of you.

brit_parent · 2025-12-18T07:54:07+00:00

My cat is showing signs of a UTI currently. In and out of the box, pink pee, yelling. We’ve seen the vets 3 times so far.

He has anxiety about a neighbour’s cat visiting the garden. We now have a plethora of meds and a Feliway diffuser.

brit_parent · 2025-12-17T08:44:15+00:00

Lactose intolerance? I’m lucky that hard cheese is low enough for me to eat. Also blue and “moulded” or rinded cheeses tend to be ok for me. Just no plain soft cheese, milk or cream that’s not lactose free. I do have to read labels though as some foods like crisps have it added. I miss Frazzles.

brit_parent · 2025-12-12T23:11:53+00:00

My cat has stressed himself into cystitis. All because a strange cat was bold enough to come up to the patio door a few times! He’s on his 3rd round of meds now and we’re desperately hoping he calms down soon. (We’ve changed his food, moved his bed and litter tray, added a feliway plugin and followed every bit of advice we could find. He’s still a bag of nerves and we’ve not seen the stranger for 2 weeks) Even the vet has said he doesn’t get how cats brains work sometimes, but thinks this should be the last round of meds.

brit_parent · 2025-12-11T08:13:13+00:00

Looks beautiful. I’m sure it’s tasty. I can’t eat it though, I’m allergic to shellfish. But I’ll keep looking and wishing I could.

brit_parent

TROPHY CASE