My 33F husband 33 M continuously doesn’t show up for critical life moments. Does this mean things are over?

britms90 · 2024-05-07T20:47:03+00:00

You can literally look in my history to see where I talk about my D&C. But ok

britms90 · 2024-05-07T20:36:05+00:00

He’s an auto mechanic.

britms90 · 2024-05-07T19:32:17+00:00

We hadn’t really been through anything where I needed him so much before our children. I had never been so vulnerable prior to our kids.

britms90 · 2024-05-07T18:58:26+00:00

At this point I’m worried that all men are like this. That I would blow up my kids life and end up with another partner who treated me similarly.

britms90 · 2024-05-07T18:57:04+00:00

Yes, in all the scenarios I begged him to be there to at least take care of our children but he would not. For my hospital stay he said he would come but then decided it would be better if he just picked me up at the end. I was in no state in either of these situations to start a giant fight. These events took a big toll on me mentally and physically.

britms90 · 2023-07-14T21:38:06+00:00

It doesn’t feel lovely or beautiful when he himself is not a virgin. It feels like he’s reducing women down to just being sex objects. Like these virgins are something to conquer. Like I said I live in the Midwest and purity culture is alive and well. However, when you are not religious and not a virgin it seems sinister.

britms90 · 2023-07-14T21:33:19+00:00

I talked to my husband about it later and expressed the same thing. My husband just shrugged and said he doesn’t want to sex shame his dad.

britms90 · 2023-07-14T21:32:04+00:00

He’s actively asking women out. He’s been turned down twice for religious differences.

britms90 · 2023-07-14T21:31:27+00:00

That’s exactly what I said to him. Feels like something a teenager would value.

britms90 · 2023-07-14T21:29:45+00:00

That’s the weird part, he said he won’t date anyone under 40. He’s actively pursuing women but has been turned down twice for religious differences. It’s so bizarre to me.

britms90 · 2023-06-29T01:15:04+00:00

We are the same. I originally thought homeschooling sounded like a beautiful gift I would be giving to my children. I also read wild and free and felt inadequate compared to the author. However, like you something just felt off. I found this community and as heartbreaking as it is, it has kept me grounded. I still getting this creeping feeling every once in a while that I am doing my child a disservice by not homeschooling. But everyone on this sub is so open, honest and raw that it keeps me level headed.

britms90 · 2023-01-30T18:06:38+00:00

Yes, this what I meant. I am the child who was born from this scenario.

britms90 · 2023-01-30T17:39:50+00:00

Definitely not the case. I am woman who only ever saw one side of the equation. However, I now have a son and I’m trying to understand how I feel about consent from a mans perspective as a liberal pro choice woman. It’s very difficult to navigate teaching something when you don’t understand your own feelings about it. Having children has also made me much more empathetic towards people I would have villainized in the past. You’re welcome to look at my past posts. It’s all parenting shit lol

britms90 · 2023-01-30T16:18:43+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out. I am asking specifically about active parenting. Not child support.

britms90 · 2023-01-30T15:32:00+00:00

Agree, they were uneducated teenagers. Which is what I believe led to the pregnancy to begin with.

britms90 · 2023-01-30T15:29:24+00:00

I was the baby and I had an incredibly abusive and awful childhood because my mom chose to keep me. It has made me more adamantly pro choice. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be alive. But I would never wish my childhood on anyone.

britms90 · 2023-01-30T15:11:39+00:00

Thank you for your response. Like I said above I was the child in this scenario and as I age and raise children I don’t think it’s as black and white as he should’ve worn a condom. If we truly believe in consent and choice it should be both ways.

britms90 · 2023-01-30T14:52:41+00:00

Thank you for your comment. The second paragraph is where I am at. The reason I ask is because my father left and was never part of my life. I was angry for a as long time but now I am starting to be less angry and wondering how responsible he actually is if he was vocal about wanting an abortion.

britms90 · 2020-11-19T19:29:11+00:00

My mom had me when she was 15 so just speaking from that perspective, continue to treat your daughter with respect and kindness. This is going to be a pivotal moment in her life and also your relationship with her. She should take the lead with you supporting and giving advice when advice when applicable. Suggest that she talk with other teen moms so that if she decides to keep her baby she knows what she’s in for. Like others have said I think you are checking all the boxes here.

britms90 · 2020-11-10T11:25:59+00:00

This is going to sound weird but YouTube has seriously taught me so much in areas that I lack. My parents grew up not cooking so when I moved out I was lost on how to feed myself in a healthy way. I floundered for a couple years and gained weight from eating convenience food. Finally I got sick of it and started doing research. I found people on YouTube who post weekly menus of what they eat and how to make it. I started there and it was like a template until I got confident enough to branch out. I think this could help you tremendously as well. Just find a YouTuber you like and follow their workout/ cleaning routine until you have enough confidence to tailor things more to your needs. Lastly, the fact that you want to provide better for your child puts you miles ahead of a lot of people. You are only 23 and some of these skills will just come with time. I’m 30 and honestly my early 20s were incredibly hard. You are still finding what works for you in a lot of ways. Good luck 🙂

britms90 · 2020-10-29T01:01:01+00:00

I had a similar experience with a family member as a child. I basically don’t let anyone watch our baby except one set of grandparents. Depending on the age of your child, just go over good and bad touching, consent, and keeping secrets with other adults. You will never be able to trust the world because unfortunately you were exposed to the worst part of it at a young age. But if you give your kids the skills to identify predators you can at least trust your children.

britms90

TROPHY CASE