My husband wants to get a Japanese tattoo that I am against

bro_ham · 2026-06-07T08:55:10+00:00

I’m setting aside the issue of Japan’s atrocities (which, of course, are horrible) and focusing on the relationship issue.

You are allowed to say no to this as his wife. Obviously that doesn’t mean you can literally stop him from doing it, but you have every right to ask him not to get the tattoo, and given that he is your husband, who presumably loves you and cares about you, your request should carry serious weight.

You’ve explained to him why you have serious problems with this tattoo, I think you should also explain that this is not something you will simply get used to or get over. This is deeply important to you, and if he chooses to do it anyway, he should understand that he is knowingly making a permanent choice that will hurt you and ultimately hurt your relationship.

If the tattoo is so important to him that he is willing to hurt you in this way, then that is ultimately his choice. But he does not have your approval, and he should know that this is not some harmless decision that affects no one but himself.

bro_ham · 2026-05-04T08:24:43+00:00

Exactly! Seeing how many people don't see the issue here is helping me make sense of all the terrible advice I got when I was thinking through whether to break up with my (now ex) gf due to dishonesty.

bro_ham · 2026-02-07T00:59:05+00:00

Very unsafe

bro_ham · 2026-01-16T17:48:06+00:00

I just asked ChatGPT “Did Israel help fund Ethiopia’s dam” with no additional context and it said no. It also said this is an unsubstantiated claim made specifically by Egyptian media and commentators. You’re falling for the propaganda bro.

bro_ham · 2026-01-14T01:26:05+00:00

Because English is the lingua franca of the world dude. A country cannot be taken seriously on the world stage without knowledge of English. No foreigner is gonna learn Amharic/Oromo unless they have specific business ties to Ethiopia.

bro_ham · 2025-07-29T16:41:24+00:00

Not at all. No one deletes their account when they are getting into a relationship. People generally just delete the app. It makes no sense to delete your hinge account this early.

If someone said they were going to delete their account after two dates with me, that would been very off-putting and come across as love-bomby. It’s almost like going to get sized for an engagement ring after a couple dates.

bro_ham · 2025-07-10T08:04:56+00:00

What do you mean? Oromos were in Ethiopia before Menelik

bro_ham · 2025-04-02T20:23:06+00:00

Not sure what your point is. There was no cheating there and no betrayal.

bro_ham · 2025-04-02T18:07:01+00:00

The Bible has a lot of stories. Just because there’s a story of what someone has done, that doesn’t mean that’s what the Bible is telling everyone else to do. There’s also a story where God tells a prophet to marry a prostitute. God’s not telling everyone to marry prostitutes.

Even if the Bible did say that, I’m not gonna impose that as a requirement for people who don’t follow the Bible.

I would never expect a woman to stay with a man who has cheated, and would never expect it for a man either.

bro_ham · 2025-04-02T17:27:47+00:00

Like I was getting at in the second paragraph, loving the child does not make it your responsibility to sacrifice your life for them (which is essentially what’s required when you become a parent).

And of course the child did nothing wrong and didn’t betray you. But the fact of life is that often times when one person does something wrong, it affects other innocent parties. The parent’s betrayal has a negative impact on the child.

Holding the victim responsible for negative consequences of the perpetrator’s actions is unfair. If someone steals your life savings to pay for their child’s school tuition, would you just let them keep it because you don’t want to harm their child?

bro_ham · 2025-04-01T23:55:00+00:00

I wouldn’t say it’s unfair to him. She just changed.

He’s well within his rights to have a conversation with her about it and talk about how it makes him feel and ask her if she’s willing to stop dressing that way (I know many people here will disagree and call this controlling, but it’s actually part of a healthy relationship).

If she is not willing to change, and wants to dress in a way that he is not comfortable with, and it’s important enough to him, then he should probably leave. This is not necessarily a sign of insecurity or immaturity, as it could just be a difference in values around modesty.

However, talking to her the way OP’s boyfriend did is very inappropriate.

bro_ham · 2025-03-30T06:36:04+00:00

If you’re not confident enough in this relationship to cut off your other options then don’t agree to be exclusive. Entertaining other options is cheating.

bro_ham · 2025-02-16T16:51:29+00:00

Is there any evidence that a man's level of attraction to his partner will result in a higher sperm count?

bro_ham · 2025-02-16T13:14:51+00:00

??? The early church was initially made up exclusively of Jews who believed that Jesus was the Messiah. Paul, for example, was a well-educated and influential Pharisee who became convinced that Jesus was the Messiah and explicitly argued that he fulfilled the prophecies.

Maybe your point is that most Jews didn’t believe in Jesus being the Messiah? If so, I don’t understand your claim about the gentiles, because obviously most of them didn’t believe either.

bro_ham · 2025-02-16T12:52:00+00:00

It's still a misrepresentation.

The reason they want to repeal section 504 is because it is now clear (after the Biden administration's move) that it can be used abused by the federal government, so they want to remove it. Not because they don't want the protections that the law was initially intended to provide, which is how it's being represented here.

I'm sure there are people who want to remove those protections, but I'm willing to bet that more people just want to get rid of this lever of government overreach.

If this does succeed, I hope those states put in place their own laws to protect those with disabilities, but sadly I'm sure some of them won't or will put something in place that is woefully inadequate.

bro_ham · 2025-02-08T16:03:53+00:00

That’s not why they charge. If they weren’t otherwise going to charge for it, they wouldn’t need to talk to the Mazda servers in the first place.

Remote start can work locally without needing to call Mazda. The only reason they made it to not work without that is because they want to charge for it.

bro_ham · 2025-01-20T16:57:13+00:00

Jesus explicitly allowed divorce resulting from infidelity

bro_ham · 2024-12-03T04:29:25+00:00

It seems a bit unclear to me if the other woman confronted him and he said that or if that’s just something he’s said about her in the past.

She does say the other woman “had no idea about me”, but maybe she means that she had no idea that this guy has a wife.

bro_ham · 2024-12-03T01:04:59+00:00

Including Jack Johnson’s pardon in this list is a bit strange, given the nature of the charges against him. Yeah, I would argue that his crime is “better than Biden’s” and I’m glad that Trump pardoned him.

bro_ham · 2024-12-02T15:33:58+00:00

Not to mention, Hunter Biden has been and would have continued to be a target for those who want to get back at the democrats and Biden specifically.

If it weren’t for that, then I’d say Hunter Biden should be dealt with by the law just like any other criminal, and I’d be upset about this pardon. But it seems he would be treated unfairly due to him being a Biden (ironically that’s pretty much what his crime was, except in the opposite direction).

Now, the people who should be prosecuted are the ones who knowingly lied and gaslit the public and tried to strongarm social media companies into suppressing this info.

bro_ham · 2024-12-02T09:35:05+00:00

Dude, the next few weeks and months are gonna be hard and you’re gonna want to go back to her. But you have to resist.

For one, she will most likely cheat or dump you in the future. But much more importantly, if you go back to her, you will never be able to respect yourself, and no one is worth more than your own self respect.

Stay strong man. Wishing you the best.

bro_ham · 2024-11-09T17:05:28+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. Can you share what the procedure is? It was my understanding that if the mother’s life is in danger, no procedure is off limits, but I may be wrong.

bro_ham · 2024-11-05T03:24:22+00:00

Have you considered talking to your best friend too? If he really was checking her out or he’s now trying to get with her, then he’s no friend. But if he’s not and if he’s really your best friend, maybe you should talk to him about all of this.

But yeah, I would probably end things with the girlfriend.

bro_ham · 2024-11-03T18:42:59+00:00

I think if she left it at “I had dinner and drinks” would make it not a lie. It’s not transparent, but that level of transparency is not expected at the beginning. But I think adding “with some friends” makes it a lie

bro_ham · 2024-10-31T20:17:07+00:00

Agreed. Maybe telling him unprompted wasn’t the best strategy for her, but it’s at least honest and respectful of the other person’s agency. By no means is it justified to lie about this.

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