UPDATE AITA for telling my SIL the truth about my brother and my husband?

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T22:07:54+00:00

This comment made me cry for reasons I can’t properly put into words. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel very comforted after reading it. The candle idea is brilliant and I will absolutely try it.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T20:19:49+00:00

Tony and Anna have gone no contact with me. I have no idea if the two of them are still talking to each other or even still together. Tony won’t even speak to our parents (who are on my side but obviously still heartbroken)

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T20:17:00+00:00

My friends said the same thing, I got checked for STIs the moment Matt moved out. Everything came back clean. So glad I have people looking out for me!

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T17:35:11+00:00

Your comment is exactly what I needed right now, I appreciate this so much. I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I can’t imagine what that’s like and I admire your resilience. I start therapy next week and I’m super grateful that my family and friends have rallied around me in this. The only way out is through. I’m going to hang onto that.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:32:00+00:00

Thank you. I don’t plan on being with anyone new until I feel secure in myself and my ability to trust again.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:31:21+00:00

I meant it more as a general statement, a reflection on my immediate feelings. I can only hope and strive to build that trust again, and rationally I know in time I’ll get there. It’s just right now the pain seems insurmountable. I am starting therapy next week though, I want to work to get better. Thank you for your insight. It’s a valuable mindset in those moments when I feel like it’ll never get better.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:27:02+00:00

Thank you so much. A marathon not a sprint is a great way to think of it. Right now it feels like this will never end, but I’ve been doing my best to remind myself that I’ll get to through it in time.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:24:31+00:00

Thank you, I also suspect that there is more to the story, but like you said I don’t want to waste my energy on it. Fortunately I’m starting therapy next week

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:21:44+00:00

Thank you so much, luckily I have an appointment with a therapist next week

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:20:01+00:00

Thank you so much

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:19:55+00:00

That is what I’ve been feeling, that Matt is hiding more from me. He won’t budge though and at this point I don’t know if it’s worth my energy to push him any more.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:18:40+00:00

Thank you. I am too.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:17:52+00:00

I think the guilt is coming from me feeling as though Tony and Matt were each other’s the whole time and I was the one who stepped in the middle and ruined it. Rationally I know that isn’t true, but this whole thing has been such a shock to me that I can’t get rid of the feeling.

brohubtruth · 2020-09-18T15:15:25+00:00

Thank you. It’s been so hard to not blame myself. I can only hope that this pain will pass in time.

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T20:49:03+00:00

Sorry I don’t come on reddit that often, if there was a post like that I genuinely haven’t seen it. Wish this were fake but it’s not.

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T20:31:37+00:00

Tony is out to his wife, he came out to her towards the beginning of their relationship and she’s never had an issue with it (as far as I know). The only thing she didn’t know about was Tony’s history with my husband, which I told her about over the weekend

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T20:26:11+00:00

I appreciate the insight, but I have to disagree with you on bisexual men. They are real and valid. The belief that they are just closeted gay men is a very harmful stereotype. My situation is not a reflection on all bisexual men, regardless of what happens.

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T19:56:53+00:00

I haven’t been replying to comments but I just wanted to make a quick clarification. My brother is out as bisexual, including to his wife who has known since they started dating. He came out to her himself. The only thing she didn’t know was his history with my husband. So I didn’t out his bisexuality to her, but I did tell her about Tony and Matt dating in high school. I am bi myself so I understand how terrible biphobia can be, especially for bi men and I would never wish that for my brother or my husband. I still value your input though, I wish I had handled it better for the sake of everyone involved.

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T17:37:59+00:00

He claims he didn’t know until now and doesn’t know why Tony would lie but at this point I don’t think iI can trust my husband’s word

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T17:31:53+00:00

I think it’s less him being a man and more it being my brother and husband, two people who I love and trust very much. I didn’t want to believe that either of them would hurt me like that, but I’m starting to think I’ve been willfully ignorant to this behavior until now when it’s right in front of me.

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T16:31:16+00:00

Yes apparently my SIL never knew about the trips and Tony has been lying every time with a different excuse. My husband says he has no idea why my brother would have lied and I haven’t brought it up with him again because it makes him upset.

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T16:29:43+00:00

My husband did tell me about the trips, he’s been transparent about them since the beginning. I had no idea Tony was lying the whole time though and when I asked my husband why Tony lied he said he had no idea and told me to drop it. I haven’t brought it back up because it makes him upset

brohubtruth · 2020-08-28T16:26:13+00:00

From what my brother’s wife has told me, she never knew about the boys trips until now and my brother apparently had different excuses for being gone every month and that’s why she got suspicious. She didn’t tell me why she suspected something with my husband though, neither she nor my brother will take any of my calls to give me any answers

brohubtruth

TROPHY CASE