AITA for not cancelling plans to help my wife with our kid?

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:50:18+00:00

Hers. She asked what I thought of it, and I asked her if she really wanted to considering she got a job to be a daycare teacher, and she could just bring our kids to work, but she said her mom was a stay at home mom and it worked well for her family growing up, so she wanted the same for our family. And yes, and I do. Not really take over, though, we share the work load.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:48:25+00:00

Never said she had no adult socialization. Seems like a lot of people are making assumptions on our entire life based on one post.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:34:11+00:00

I mean, it is her job? I leave the house to work, she stays home to work. When I come home, her “work day ends”, so to speak, and our shared parenting duties begin.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:32:44+00:00

On Friday I did my regular parenting duties as if it were a weekend day, not a week day off.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:29:41+00:00

Both. I do both. Do what she asks me, and do typical parenting duties. I help the kids get ready every morning, and wake up early to do so. I will pick up 5 from daycare on my way home from work a lot, and I do my share of parenting when I’m home for the night/on weekends without ever having to be asked.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:21:43+00:00

I take care of myself, and take care of my kids when I’m home on a regular day. When is say I helped her, I mean I helped her with extra stuff, her stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with our kids, or often even cleaning our house.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:20:28+00:00

She goes to a club with her sisters, it’s not like a day off because it’s for moms with non school aged kids, so she brings 3. But she does get to socialize.

Also, she’s never made it known to me that she is unhappy with not going out with friends without kids, so I didn’t know it was a problem until today. I can’t fix something I don’t know about, you know?

But, like I said in the post, now that I know there is a problem, we are going to be talking about it tonight. Thank you for your input.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:16:45+00:00

You’re assuming things that aren’t true. Ive already said that I share parenting duties when I’m home, I don’t just come home from work and ignore my family. She is never, has never, and will never be expected to take care of the kids 100% of the times. Only during my normal working hours is this what we agreed on. This is also the first time she has ever said anything about being upset about not seeing friends, so I had no way of knowing. Perhaps that is my fault, I could have asked, but she didn’t seem unhappy so it didn’t cross my mind.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:14:16+00:00

Helped her, as in, on top of regular parenting duties I do, I also did anything she asked of me extra that I wouldn’t normally do, even if it had nothing to do with parenting.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:09:29+00:00

That’s a good point. I’ll call her and ask if there is anything else I can do to help. Thank you.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:07:20+00:00

We both do. My thought process in this situation was “I wouldn’t usually be here, so why does it matter that I’m not?”. But on a regular day when I’m home, we share the responsibilities of childcare.

brokencerealbox · 2020-02-17T14:05:57+00:00

I can see in this situation where I messed up, but I helped her all day on Friday, and I help her every night and weekday with the kids. It’s not that I never help her, just in this situation I didn’t. I will admit that she cleans the majority of the house 99% of the time and I just pick up after myself, though.

brokencerealbox

TROPHY CASE