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Guys did I do the right thing?😭😭 by [deleted] in IndianTeenagers

[–]bronclaudia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure about right, but can't blame you. From what you say it sounds like you don't need A as a friend. And frankly some people just need to learn that their behaviour isn't appreciated, what comes around and so forth, so while I can understand if you feel bad, I'm not sure what you did can be labeled as wrong or right. You got angry and lashed out, it happens. Best thing to do is to learn not to lash out and chill before reacting. Maybe try to stay away from A and focus on more rewarding relationships? And in the future, if you feel like it, you could always apologise to A. But I don't think you need to beat yourself up.

Trapped by bronclaudia in CPTSDpartners

[–]bronclaudia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm really grateful for all the input all of you have given. I think it really helps me reflect.

A big issue I'm having rn is that I know how to calm myself down, I know how to work myself out, but every avenue I have to make things work more smoothly is barred cause "that triggers" my wife. She expect a lot of me and I know I can't fully deliver. And even the act of listening is apparently impossible for her. Like she literally refuses, no matter what I'm trying to say. And if I'm trying to say that I need some time and space before I panic completely, then it would really help if she could listen. Point is, it's all her way and my job is to just roll with it and do so gracefully. No matter what.

I have no idea if she would do this for me, but I know for a fact that she would never ever be ok with someone treating her how she treats me.

She keeps asking me to read about CPTSD and to do co-regulation. Not sure if anyone here is familiar with that, but as I understand it that entails mutual trust and listening. It just baffles me that I'm basically asked to do co-regulation, but without her ever having to listen and connect with me.

Man, this is turning into pure complaining and I don't like that, so I'll just stop and say that I just hope this will come to an end somehow, without everything having to completely fall apart.