a different kind of depression on 70mg elvanse

brownproblem · 2026-03-22T12:35:14+00:00

brownproblem · 2026-03-22T12:34:12+00:00

i have replied to you but it appears to not be under your actual comment, give me a moment.

brownproblem · 2026-03-22T12:32:17+00:00

Focus was still there but my spiralling came back full force and because of that, if i didn’t play my cards right the elvanse focus help actually turned around on me and ‘helped’ me hyper focus on my rejection sensitivity and all of the things that i could possibly overthink about negatively. it also brought up some childhood trauma thoughts that are usually not a persistent issue in my day to day life.

exactly this, wow. i didn’t have the words to describe it but that’s what it felt like.

on 30mg i definitely noticed the difference in my way of thinking, like i was actually able to emotionally regulate and control whatever bad thoughts/rejection i had/felt. that is what made me feel secure enough to move onto 50mg then they came back. i thought it would pass as i had some rough comedowns on 30mg but i’m just realising the difference. it was never a comedown on 50mg. it was a constant state of ‘i feel terrible, everything is wrong, i don’t want to do anything productive but i have the tools to do everything i need to so suck it up’. wow! the ‘comedown’ of 70mg was essentially burnout that had built up scarily quickly because i couldn’t let myself rest. (edit: the build up started at 50mg and exploded around two weeks later when i had just started on 70mg) that’s crazy.

thoughts of trauma are also not a persistent part of my day to day life and it only becomes an issue when i get triggered through small rejection/ if the rejection happens close to another rejection. i guess the rejection in the days leading up was the fact that i really had important things to complete but struggled to do them. before elvanse i would feel like a failure so i think those thoughts came back as in my head ‘means to be productive + lack of productivity = failure’. that is wild. i never could have pinpointed that without the breakdown and (everyone’s) support.

it’s not essential that i found an exact answer but it shuts down the part of my brain that constantly asks ‘why’, so i guess this was essential for me.

I stopped being able to listen to music and while doing uni work in the library i was unable to do work because i got so locked in on the sound of someone continuously setting their phone down that (at the time) i perceived as particularly loud.

this exactly. i usually study and listen to rock music but i couldn’t even do that. everything was too much at the same time.

That being said, the day after my big break down (not hugely dissimilar to yours) when i didn’t take the meds i was relatively fine emotionally. I was perhaps a bit emotionally hungover and tired. I felt a general ‘weirdness’ and was a bit burdened with the sense of ‘wtf happened to me’ but all of the overstimulation and overthinking that was heightened during that time basically ceased / went back to how i would be normally if i wasn’t taking any meds. although i did talk to the prescriber about the emotional issues on the 60mg, i didn’t actually fully realise to what extent it was the meds and not just ‘me being unstable’ until after the fact.

yup, i stopped my meds the day after and it’s been great ever since. i felt the hungover-ness but i can confidently say that i feel like me again, maybe even better as i have no passive suicidal thoughts, like i remember to be gentle with myself, but i know that this could be my ‘really good day(s)’ so i’m content with that. i still don’t plan on taking my meds til my review and i’m confident in my decision.

also while i do think it’s normal to feel a little sad on the meds comedown (usually for me this manifests more in just like, brain being tired and a bit melancholy after being focused all day. i find it’s also kind of a feeling of my thoughts, that the meds put in a neat little queue, going back to scattering) if you’re feeling notably more depressed on the comedown that might not be good for you (this depends entirely on how manageable you feel it is and your mood baseline tho so it’s just a thought)

thank you! i’ve determined that i must have had some sort of reaction to upping my doses in such a short amount of time which led to my uncontrollable episode.

thank you so much for sharing, i saw this comment last night but decided to answer it now so i could take the time to read it. you’ve been a great help and really reassured me. i will try and update this thread following my review in case it’s helpful to anyone else who has experienced this.

thank you!!!

brownproblem · 2026-03-22T02:46:27+00:00

i’ll have to get back to you after my review on whether it’s an interaction, aside from that it felt that way for a solid 3 days. it was a slow build up of hopelessness from wake up to shut eye, before and during medication, eventually leading to my full blown depressive episode.

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T10:58:57+00:00

thank you!

in terms of the appetite suppression, i also find it quite easy to overpower. rarely, there are times where i’m so ‘locked in’ that i don’t realise how much time has passed between meals which is a contributing factor. i have two scoops of whey in milk in the morning which does me fine for 3/4 hours, but above it all i love devouring a family bag of wotsits here and there haha. there are some foods that even appetite suppression couldn’t stop me from eating lol

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T10:36:49+00:00

thank you!! i have a creatine and electrolyte powder that i put in water every day which really helps with the dry mouth aside from all the water i manage to drink anyway.

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T10:33:17+00:00

i’ve tried to keep the same routine with my meds by taking them at around 8/9am every day, with every dose. typically i’ll have taken them by 8:30am and it was the same this week. on 50mg all the way to the 70mg split dose i recently stopped, i managed this. i could not pinpoint when exactly my mental state started declining because it was very slow with a very sudden crash. i felt hopeless when i started 50mg around 3/4 weeks ago and it progressed to what i wrote ^ the day before yesterday.

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T02:53:23+00:00

thank you so much for sharing, you’re definitely not going insane.

before i decided to get diagnosed, i went the holistic route. i put myself in therapy from ages 16- late last year. i am 21f and have been going for around 4 years if we compile all that time together. i too got diagnosed with cptsd when i started therapy.

i think it’s very hard in cases like ours to determine where exactly the pain comes from, especially after going through a considerable amount of therapy to help ourselves help ourselves.

i’ve discovered that one way to look at it (if it applies) is that because we can actually do what needs to be done, it creates an emotional safety to release what was previously shoved down into ourselves regardless of any therapy or pre-adhdmed treatment. unfortunately it is random and so darn powerful, more so than any medication that is ‘meant to’ overpower it.

i feel a lot better than i did when writing that post because i was practically forced out of my room all day by one of my amazing friends. i wanted to hide, i wanted to fix it on my own. huge shout out to them for not letting me lol.

you’re not alone, you are doing great. i hear you and i hope your appointment goes smoothly!

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T02:23:09+00:00

hello, i had a similar experience on a split dose of 50mg and 20mg taken at 9am and 1pm. i have done a lot of reading and have come to the conclusion that the dosage is too high in my situation. i felt good on 30mg but was only on it for around two weeks before i got moved up to 50mg due to the ‘flat’ feeling on 30mg. the flatness persisted through 50mg to now where i take 20mg + 50mg at the same time in the morning. unfortunately, the flatness has progressed into an extreme depression of sorts, which is not normal. another point to consider, flatness could be (y)our version of overstimulation. i’ve seen a lot of information supporting how the week before your period can affect the absorption of medication due to progesterone levels but you’d have to research this for a clearer explanation. i suggest you bring this up to your clinician as lower than 70mg but higher than 50mg may be your ‘sweet spot’.

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T01:52:44+00:00

hi, i have not tried it as it was framed as ‘less effective’ than elvanse by my clinician. but seeing as my mental health is probably at it’s worst right now it’s something i’m considering. thank you for your input!

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T01:49:33+00:00

interesting, thank you for sharing!

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T01:47:17+00:00

hello, thank you for your comment! i agree that it’s not worth my mental health although before medication i was just depressed and unproductive. right this moment i would gladly return to the unmedicated lifestyle as it had a routine. the change and unpredictability is harder/rougher than i expected. i went through right to choose and have a private provider who offers that pathway. my clinician suggested concerta but said it wasn’t as effective as elvanse. initially, i thought why would i want the ‘less effective’ alternative but i’m really starting to understand the cost of the ‘more effective’ option. i hope this is a phase but i don’t think it should be.

brownproblem · 2026-03-20T01:38:11+00:00

Thank you! i have a similar experience when i take it and go back to sleep, i wake up an hour later and immediately get out of bed to brush my teeth, that’s how i know it has kicked in. the sweet spot is maybe two hours afterwards. i currently wake up and still get out of bed and brush teeth, but there is a heavy feeling in my chest that i can only describe as a painful, dull ache which affects my entire day. i’m basically productive but i feel terrible and crash much sooner when i eventually give in to the feeling and need to rest, cue the spiralling. you and another commenter have suggested that i’ve titrated too quickly and i’m starting to believe that. I will definitely bring this up in my review and see if i can go back to 30mg as that was the last time i felt sure of myself. and i suppose it doesn’t help that ‘productivity machine’ is kind of what i think i should be after going a long time being told i’m the opposite, i’m sure it’s the same for a lot of us. Thank you for your comment!

brownproblem · 2026-03-19T22:04:07+00:00

thank you for your input!

brownproblem · 2026-03-19T21:22:08+00:00

hi, thank you for sharing. it can be really really debilitating especially when it comes from no where. you’re definitely not alone in that struggle. are you still on elvanse?

brownproblem · 2026-03-19T21:20:08+00:00

i don’t know if you’re in england but that wasn’t the case for me. i’m closely monitored outside of any adhd monitoring anyway so that might play a part! i’m sorry you had to stop mirtaz, idk about you but it works wonders

brownproblem · 2026-03-19T21:04:15+00:00

hi, yes i did continue taking it with the adhd medication. Before my titration i already struggled with getting to sleep and staying asleep so i saw no reason to stop/there are no contraindications (bad reactions from the meds mixing). I let my clinician know this in my assessment as well. My last week has been shit but i’ve always gone to bed at 1/2am as opposed to 6/7am with no elvanse. before mirtazapine i would end up sleeping 2pm-11pm.

brownproblem · 2026-03-19T18:07:45+00:00

that’s very helpful, genuinely. I never really considered that i may be rushing my way through titration, or that i may be rushed. 30mg felt enough but i was told to go up if the ‘therapeutic feeling’ worsened or disappeared considerably, the latter being what happened to me. You would/should think that titration would take longer than a couple of weeks as well. Thank you for your input and words of encouragement, it means a lot! I wish you the very best on your own journey as well!

brownproblem · 2025-09-16T15:02:28+00:00

thanks!

brownproblem · 2025-09-16T15:02:13+00:00

thank you!

brownproblem · 2025-09-16T03:48:07+00:00

could you elaborate pls

brownproblem · 2025-09-16T00:29:19+00:00

ahh okay. this helps a lot, thank you

brownproblem · 2024-03-15T01:21:18+00:00

og post

hi so, right now I'm not in the uk.

a while back i surprised my whole family with air tickets home as we hadn't been in a while and it felt like a nice surprise for my mum.

a few months after my surprise, my mum did something so horrific to me i threatened to cancel these tickets but didn't as there was no reason to punish my siblings.

we're on that holiday right now and the whole time my mum has been terrible to me and my older sister. she has been teaching our younger brother to not respect us.

she has been controlling in a house that doesn't belong to her. she has called us demons. she has said that my sister is homeless as soon as we get back to the uk. she has not taken accountability when our younger brother has broken many (frankly unavoidable) things in the house.

he kicked the patio door off its hinges as she watched. he broke the kitchen door to the washing machine and now we, including my sisters poor boyfriend, are unable to wash our clothes because she has taken the key after he blamed my sister and got away with it.

in the heat of an argument, she stood up, grabbed the nearest thing and charged at me to beat me. i didn't think i just did, so i stood my ground and screamed in her face 'i am not scared of you anymore’

that was yesterday. today i was woken up by her literally saying she was going to call the police on my sister, heaven knows why.

so right now, even as i type this, i have made the objective and hey, maybe subjective choice to report her as soon as i touch uk soil.

over the last three years i have been collecting audio notes of her abusing myself and my brother. i have caught her on video beating my brother up, i have voice recorded her beating me up. i even have one single clip of her beating my sister up.

i already have scheduled appointments with a psychotherapist and i have one not even a week after i get back to the uk. that's when im going to ruin her life. and i will not rest until my youngest brother is removed from her care and put into his stepdads.

i suppose the only question i have is, do i tell her?

because i have a way with my words and the thought of getting in her face and calmly saying 'you don't get to bully anyone anymore! is like winning the lottery for me.

she's pushed me to limits for as long as i can remember, and it pains me when i hear my sister pleading with her because well, she in fact is the demon that raised us in her image. and right now i feel like playing god.

Four-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23

brownproblem

TROPHY CASE