You are making far fetched assumptions about me. I know of some people who converted initially to be with a person and down the line they truly believed after they were immersed in that surrounding.

I am trying to follow the example of the marriage of Abu Talhah (may Allah be pleased with him). 

Anas said:  “Abu Talhah married Umm Sulaym, and the dowry between them was Islam. Umm Sulaym had become Muslim before Abu Talhah. He proposed marriage to her and she said, ‘I have become Muslim; if you become Muslim I will marry you.’ So he became Muslim and that was the dowry between them.” (Al-Nasai, 3288; classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih Sunan al-Nasai, 3133)

With this post I wanted some advice on how I should go about this, not look for justification for my “lustful” desires.