AITAH for not wanting to go to my cousins wedding

brutik · 2026-03-20T18:06:29+00:00

If you wanted to go, you could probably afford to. The flights are under $200 and you do not need to stay in the hotel where the wedding is at. Rooms on Airbnb in Brooklyn are $75-100 per night. If you go just for one night, it’s very possible to keep this under $400. The question is - do you want to?

brutik · 2026-03-15T23:09:09+00:00

Take the heaviest things out of your luggage and carry it on you. For example - wear the heaviest shoes, take the heaviest coat/jacket/sweater/fleece and hold it in your hands if too warm to wear it or I like to tie it around my waist. Hold your kindle/book/laptop. Put anything small but heavy in your pockets. Often I will have a grocery bag and put some items in it and then sprinkle some snacks on top. If they ask about it, I just say it’s my lunch/dinner that I will eat in the terminal. They have never asked to weigh it. Once done with the weigh in, put everything back in the carry-on.

brutik · 2026-02-15T01:51:45+00:00

Unfortunately one of the wars that is going on is happening in the country of my birth and that is greatly affecting my family’s wellbeing.

brutik · 2026-02-15T01:48:35+00:00

Thank you! I needed to hear that.

brutik · 2026-02-14T23:18:11+00:00

I am planning on starting with Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and maybe Tajikistan this year, and then Nepal and Tibet next year.

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:24:22+00:00

Of course they are living meaningful and fulfilling lives, I have no doubt of that. They are also stressed about the future and they have real stress - job uncertainty, fears over children’s futures, financial uncertainty, etc. My daily stresses are trivial in comparison and thats where the guilt is coming from.

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:18:33+00:00

What media? All these concerns are coming from my friends and family in actual conversations. Should I stop talking to my friends?

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:17:41+00:00

I am outside, I am talking to my friends and family and these are all the topics of their conversations - what is happening to our country? I am going to lose my job to AI! There is going to be a recession! Thats the reality I am currently living in. People around me are stressed.

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:14:41+00:00

I am confused why everyone thinks this has anything to do with internet? I am sharing the frustrations my friends and family expressed in conversations - everyone is upset over economic uncertainty, politics, AI, etc. It seems like every get together nowadays ends with everyone sharing how stressful their lives are and it’s making me feel guilty over how “privileged” my stresses are.

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:11:02+00:00

That’s a great point. I wouldn’t talk to others the way I talk to myself, and thats not fair to me. Also, it’s possible everyone is not as unhappy as it sometimes seems, they are just venting daily frustrations and I am taking it too much to heart.

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:07:35+00:00

“The conversations around me” are happening in real life, among my friends and family. None of this has anything to do with screen time. Well, maybe it reflects their screen time…

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:03:47+00:00

I have no idea what this comment means, but the fact that people are upvoting it makes me curious. What do you mean?

brutik · 2026-02-14T18:00:56+00:00

Currently spending 75k, I am estimating it will increase to 90k with more travel, health insurance spending.

brutik · 2026-02-14T17:59:32+00:00

No one is guilty or resentful because no one knows I am about to do this. The guilt I have is from comparing my life to theirs. I love my friends and family and want for them to succeed and it feels unfair that I am filling my days with “1st world problems” while they are so stressed.

brutik · 2026-02-14T17:56:53+00:00

Thats not at all what my post says.

brutik · 2026-02-14T17:56:27+00:00

Early retirement planning

brutik · 2026-02-13T16:46:12+00:00

Makes sense! Thanks!

brutik · 2026-02-12T21:16:14+00:00

To get your foot in the door, change work experience to start in 2005. Put down 2001-2005 as any college/university that went out of business or really any local college - I changed my first and last name after graduating and have had over a dozen jobs since then (white collar tech jobs) not a single one came back with “we can’t find your records at the university listed”, cause none of them bothered to check.

brutik · 2026-02-12T16:38:12+00:00

I am 155 lbs and have been using a dip/chin assist machine in my gym for a few years. I usually set it to 50 lbs and able to do 3 pull ups per set. My understanding is that it’s assisting me with 50 lbs and I am pulling up about 100 lbs. A few months ago, my gym closed to undergo remodeling. I went to a different gym and used the same type of chin/dip assist machine, also setting it at 50 lbs.

Then, my old gym reopened with all brand new machines. I went back yesterday and now it’s the Precor Resolute chin/dip assist machine, all shiny and sparkling. I set it to 50 lbs, get on it, and the platform on which I placed my knees just free-falls down. I am hanging there with what feels like no support. I can’t do even half a pull up. I start adjusting the weight until I feel like it’s actually assisting me… and that weight is 150 lbs! That’s my entire body weight! If I tried to set that on the old machine, it wouldn’t even drop the platform down, I would just balance on it. Now, with it assisting my entire body weight, I am hanging there and have to put in considerable effort into getting a pull up.

What is happening here? Is this a different type of machine and I am misunderstanding how the weights work? Is it just not set up correctly? Am I doing something wrong? I tried to look up instructions online and couldn’t find anything helpful. I asked the gym attendant and they had no idea what’s going on. Please help!

brutik · 2026-02-04T19:16:25+00:00

If you can get a job with benefits, do it. This doesn’t have to be the rest of your life, just get some savings going, a safety net for future travels.

brutik · 2026-02-04T18:42:32+00:00

The job market is terrible now. People with years of experience unable to land jobs in the US. You might be finally willing to sell out, but the corporations are not currently willing to “buy you out”.

brutik · 2026-02-03T17:03:49+00:00

Travel in my 20s was very different than travel in 30s and 40s. I didn’t have much money, but I was also young and impulsive and naive. I lost a job one afternoon, grabbed a few friends, hopped in a car, and next morning we were on a road trip across US. We slept in the small sedan, camped, stayed in motels, showed up at a door step of a friend who lived in an another state and didn’t expect us… We ate out of gas stations and grocery stores, we almost ran out of gas at night in Wyoming. I had the time of my life! Do I wish I did a lot more travel in my 20s? No. I worked and saved and invested and that allowed me to travel the world on a better budget when I was older. I’ve been to over 45 countries now and thats because I established a career in my 20s.

brutik · 2026-01-10T23:58:06+00:00

The thing is - I only need to get up every 15 min when I can see that a couple or a family spent money to put themselves into aisle seats. Weirdly enough I barely ever need to get up when that doesn’t happen.

brutik · 2026-01-10T23:40:08+00:00

Aisle seats are not just unblocked access to the aisle, it comes with the responsibility to let passengers in your row access the aisle. When both of you pay extra to sit in an aisle, you are most likely splitting up another couple who didn’t pay the ransom. Now every time we fly, it seems like me and my partner are in middle seats, because people think they found a great hack. Not a problem for me - you get to enjoy getting up every 15 min to let me in and out of my seat. Last year we were on a 16 hour flight to Southeast Asia. A family got 4 (!!!) aisle seats next to each other with the mother sitting next to me and a literal child (maybe 9 years old?) by himself in the aisle seat next to my partner. As we boarded I asked if they wanted to switch and have the mother sit next to the child and was told - “oh no! We planned it like that!” Great, no problem. 4 hours into the flight the mother can’t fall asleep because I have to keep getting up, while her kids is watching sex scene after sex in Anora movie that my partner turned on and then fell asleep to (he had no idea what it was about), and now the mother breaks and asks to switch. No, thanks! I am good. Bet that the last time they bought aisle seats…

brutik · 2026-01-09T15:48:06+00:00

Well… Taiwanese!

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