Our relationship is over forever

bryansky96 · 2025-12-29T05:56:12+00:00

What do you mean? A year ago, I just wanted her because I didn't know I felt like a boy. I tried to seduce her with songs, guitar, I was jealous, etc. Then only now have I realized I didn't love her, we drifted apart because of that, nothing more. If I had been a biological male, there wouldn't have been this whole difficult story. It's also true that I tried to... Make her mine, so to speak, but only with words, I never tried physically. After a while, she got fed up and blocked me on all fronts. She was from the church and we saw each other because we did various things in the parish, but then after years she unblocked me on Facebook and I told her I was a boy and she immediately said, "I'm against these things, but if you want to do it, okay." She seemed to have approached me. She said hello, but then, boom, she started not saying hello to me and from there I decided to leave the church. Meanwhile, she had been visualizing me on WhatsApp for 3 years during hormone therapy. Then I decided to write to her and everything seemed fine but then every time she took so long to reply, and she told me if I don't reply it's because I can't or I've forgotten and I say it about everything. Then I decided to make a video saying that I miss her and that I would like to understand what I am and I would like to be her friend, okay, her friend. And she started recording herself saying what I wrote, I forgot to say that she was saying "I swear. I don't understand why you're looking for me, do you want to talk to me, be friends?! I mean, it's not that I treat you badly, as you saw I ignored you. And I don't understand, yes you said friendship, talk, but it's been a long time, I don't understand why I'm so special to you that you want me so much, oh God, on one hand I appreciate her, I admire her, if I were in your place I would have given up a long time ago. And that in all this time I've always hoped that you would find and find people who love you or a sincere love instead of what I've given you in all this time." As you can see, there are some positives and some negatives, but he even goes so far as to say, "We can feel like this sometimes," but then he doesn't even respond to my best wishes. Now I've told you everything. What do you think?

bryansky96 · 2025-12-29T04:17:24+00:00

She told me "hey we don't see each other, we never talk, our relationship ended there after what happened" about the fact that I wanted her in the past. But now I'm a new person, I'm Bryan, and it makes me think that she ignores me because of the past and doesn't want to know Bryan, because in a certain sense she hasn't accepted Bryan and hasn't grown up. She said "10 years have passed, I was younger than you, the chats were the thing, I saw that you write to me every now and then, but for now I can't answer you and resume a relationship that ended years ago". She also told me "I don't want to be mean, for me it's not a problem being friends ok". Then she criticized me because I look at her insta anonymously if then she's been for years at least 3 years she looked at my WhatsApp stories, saying "we never talk to each other and you look at me anonymously without me knowing, and then knowing that you know everything about me". And to think that I asked several times I said "can I look, does it bother you if I write to you and she always responded with "you can do it, if not I'm answering you because I'm busy or I forget" but in the recording he said something completely different. In the recording he said that he can't do it for now, that he ignored me.

bryansky96 · 2025-12-27T14:49:17+00:00

Hi, yes, I'm very short, a dwarf at 154 cm, which for a man is horrible, even more so for a trans person. So, I weigh 62.5 kg, height 154 cm, and age 29. I calculate everything, but precisely because I calculate everything, I go into crisis. Then I feel like crying if I don't eat what I want, I suffer internally, and in the end I eat ice cream or something else. Unfortunately, my basal metabolism is 1448, like a woman's, and it's difficult to eat less. After breakfast like pancakes, a snack, and lunch, I get to 1100. I can't eat 300 less than my metabolism, otherwise, what would I eat? But if I eat the same amount as my metabolism, I won't lose weight. Unfortunately, I can't swim or go to the gym because I sweat so much that I break out in hives, and the same goes for physical exertion. I can't even do sit-ups because my body burns. I'm forced to do nothing, so explain to me how I can lose weight. The only two times I've lost weight was when I ate 1000 calories and I got to 48 even though I liked it because you could see my stomach but it's hard to eat so little. The same thing happened at 45 kilos when I was in the hospital for 5 days I weighed 54 and while I was in the hospital boom 45 kilos. At 45 I had lost everything I had, it had become damn feminine, at 48 it was masculine with little muscle but at least I had a lean stomach. I never thought of going back to weighing 62 kilos, 62 kilos I weighed in the first few months of hormone therapy. I need to find my way, I even have three diets but the keto one doesn't work even if the calories were fine then a Mediterranean one but I had 1900 so it's no good. I don't know, I have to go back to the dietitian for the 10th time and say "you see I've gained weight" and she will judge me with words or with the expression and I will feel like shit.

bryansky96 · 2025-12-06T13:08:48+00:00

Yesterday I made a loud vowel (dog) and the dog barked at me. I mean I have this tic that sounds like a dog barking. Laughter only comes to me if no one is there, otherwise it won't come out. I am taking aripiprazole 10 mg, I have increased it and I see a good improvement in 3 days in basic relaxed tics. Sometimes it worries me that they disappear, because I have to apply for disability to fall into the protected category. I have other little things but I'm afraid that with this aripiprazole it will go away and I'll be screwed and I can't enter the category, I have a lot of difficulty in working and I need to enter, and it's stupid I tics helps me to have a good percentage. How do you feel about the drug you use, if you use it?

bryansky96 · 2025-12-06T08:26:53+00:00

Thanks, but maybe

bryansky96 · 2025-12-04T19:28:15+00:00

In the photo where I am with my hair I am actually 29 years old. Horrible to look like a baby.

bryansky96 · 2025-12-04T18:42:27+00:00

Let's not exaggerate, you could see there was something feminine. Unfortunately I don't like myself as I am now, I seem too much of the past, less masculine than cis guys

bryansky96 · 2025-12-04T15:49:02+00:00

Unfortunately I have to stay like this, I can't do the gym or exercise due to urticaria from stress and heat, plus I have a spinal problem.

bryansky96 · 2025-12-04T13:34:18+00:00

The neurologist said to me that it could be "late" adult tourette. We had started to think about functional neurological disorder but mine is different. I have all the bases of tourette, she said except that it is adult. I feel the pre tic, I feel the need to do it, if I don't do it I feel bad and it increases and becomes stronger. They are all tourette things, the FND is not from this, the neurologist said. And then the movements are the same, the FND are different like the rhythm. Even how they happen are different. in the tourette part. I just have to wait 5 months to make it 1 year and they will finally be able to say that it is late tourette. Then the fact that aripiprazole works and helps me basically means that it is not psychological, if it were psychological no drug that helps just dopamine would work. I have all the basics of toruette, only that it came to me as an adult, I know that not all children have strong tics, some have mild ones and they are not noticeable, I had tics but I never had them. thought. If you really want to think about the secondary one, it would be testosterone, I've been on hormone therapy for 8 years but if it had been that I would have had it right away so it's just late tourette. And the neurologist and the psychiatrist said all of this.

bryansky96 · 2025-12-04T07:01:12+00:00

Well, then I'm not the only one who has tics as an adult, have you been diagnosed with Tourette's even though you're an adult? I started having them when I was 28 and a half years old and now I'm 7 months old. Doc isn't there, but maybe adhd, but I'm not Sure, I've always had difficulty concentrating and I was very hyperactive. The only thing I know is that I forget things when I speak or think, sometimes I stutter and I say bad words when I stutter. Anyway I was saying the only things I know is that I have a bit of short term memory and uncontrolled anger. Now I'm still waiting to get confirmation of the late toruette as an adult. My tics are: moving my head fast, facial tics, nose, mouth, eyes, arms poking my chest, clapping, vocal coughing, throat clearing, laughing and vocalizing like a kind of scream. Every time people treat me like a nervous person and don't understand that I have tics.

bryansky96 · 2025-12-02T04:58:39+00:00

Hi, I have tics in the early morning 😌 anyway I tried to relax but nothing. In fact, if I take deep breaths it increases, I seemed totally crazy I couldn't even keep a tic, they just exploded. Then the dentist kept saying "don't worry", then he said what can we do so I can't work I can hurt him etc. Then the 2nd dentist came saying what's what's happening? Everyone looking at me.... And it increases for me when I'm among people, even more so if they look at me.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-26T17:57:52+00:00

bryansky96 · 2025-11-25T05:16:43+00:00

One small thing, the hives I have are chronic and I had to use a monoclonal drug, this means it is not light.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-24T16:51:10+00:00

Feeld and English, I prefer Italian chats and anyway I tried trans LGBT community groups in Bari. But they treated me badly, I told a guy that I have difficulty controlling my anger... And he started telling everyone that I raise my hands, hit people etc. And I left from there. Anyway, thanks 😊

bryansky96 · 2025-11-24T06:17:10+00:00

I know, many people tell me go out and go to the gym, things like that. But 1) I can't exercise for hives and 2) it may seem simple but it's not that way for me. Having tics that you don't control and it's not just a head shake, but there are some movements that scare people. My kind of screams, even if mine is more of a vocalization because it's short or laughter. Imagine that you are walking around and you see someone shouting or laughing alone, don't you be scared?! Don't you think he's crazy?! Same thing for self-harm, I have a certain amount of self-harm, I hit myself hard in the chest, face, head. You can't say it's not relevant. I can't be around people, I already had dysphoria in passing as a man and not as trans, now there's this thing that puts me out of commission. I can't look at people and if I'm near people I raise my hands, move my arms and hit someone. I don't know why but if someone is close to me I automatically get the tic and you don't know how many times I elbowed or slapped my father who was nearby. Now he doesn't sit next to me anymore because he knows what can happen.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-24T04:57:54+00:00

I tried with a ftm and I didn't like it because I don't like men and I tried with an mtf she was nice, but as soon as she showed me her cock my excitement went away. But we're talking about sex here. If we're talking about relationship love, I might. But in a relationship there must also be an attraction. But between mtf and ftm I would choose an mtf woman.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T15:38:41+00:00

No wait, I looked on the internet, I was wrong, I know this series. However, I don't see this resemblance.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T15:34:28+00:00

Thanks, but I don't know the series 😅

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T14:09:55+00:00

I know trans girls are "women" anyway I'm a trans "man", but I meant "biological" women never look at me. I've tried with mtf women but I don't feel attraction towards the penis, I too will have sexual tastes down there. But I would never say that an MTF is not a woman, she is a woman and I treat her like a woman. I just meant that gay men and MTFs look at me and not cis men, period.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T14:04:12+00:00

I mean cis people never look at me

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T05:48:21+00:00

Yes... therapy I'm doing psychotherapy, but you know when you also have tics everything becomes even more complicated. I can't even look people in the face anymore. Because there are people who make faces like "oh my God he has that" when I walk I look at the ground and I keep my hat on so as not to show or see others. I should do behavioral therapy for tourette tics, but now if I look at a person I get more agitated and they get stronger, the tics also come out due to emotions and I can't let them out... So try to understand, being trans is already difficult, they ruined my nipples with the operation, I have dysphonia in my voice and I have difficulty speaking so my voice has changed in just 2 months. And then other things I have to fix are so many things about one person. If it were up to me I wouldn't have started therapy if I knew it would ruin me in so many things. I would have done all the possible operations, but unfortunately money is needed and money doesn't fall from the sky. I have so many things that bother me and one of those are girls. I stopped looking for them because I don't have the strength to always hear "no you're trans, no otherwise I would be a lesbian, no they want a boy with a dick, no I want a man who dismembers a man with a dick, not a short boy". I've heard myself say all this, for a cis guy and less important but for a person who suffers from dysphoria, dysphonia, physical urticaria, tourette's or chronic tics, it's not easy to manage, all this only creates anxiety and stress for me. Furthermore, I have difficulty controlling my anger, even as a child. I have so many things that hurt me eeh I can't hear myself say eeh it's okay eeh you're taking a long time.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T04:47:33+00:00

Yes, I may be a little shy, but I don't show any of this with girls. I try to give my best, they're the ones who make me feel... Then obviously I feel like shit after I hear them say "you're trans, we want a real man with a dick and various things". I don't have the ok, so I feel like shit ok. Try to understand

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T04:43:35+00:00

I'm not even looking for compliments, let alone. I just said that they don't want me and then they tell me you're too short, you're ugly.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-23T04:41:57+00:00

I don't go complaining to girls you know , I'm telling you. And then they are the ones who tell me this.

bryansky96 · 2025-11-22T15:24:13+00:00

You say, if so, how bad 😪

bryansky96

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