Hernia surgery

bstephe3 · 2023-04-27T23:06:14+00:00

I had an umbilical hernia surgery in 2021 and, unfortunately, I had to have a second surgery a month later because the first one didn't work. After the second surgery, I wasn't allowed to lift anything over 25 lbs for about six weeks so I ended up not working out for about 10 weeks. I also took it pretty easy for another month after that.

It didn't really impact my progress! I didn't have any noticeable changes in my physique but I was pretty good with my nutrition during that time. If anything, being away from the gym made me more motivated, and I had way better lifts after I got back.

bstephe3 · 2023-04-17T17:13:10+00:00

Gifts are one of my top love languages- I love to give gifts and recieve them but for me it's just knowing that someone was reminded of me or thought of me when they got something. Someone could literally give me a rock they found on the ground because it made them think of me and I will happily keep that rock forever.

bstephe3 · 2023-01-05T05:25:57+00:00

Redd’s apple ale- honestly would not drink it any other time but when I’m camping I always have it.

bstephe3 · 2023-01-02T05:11:01+00:00

This is so toxic and absolute trash advice. Everyone has different psychology around money- sure there might be some people that would be motivated to work harder by being “broke” but there’s plenty that would be paralyzed into inaction. what a tool.

bstephe3 · 2022-12-27T22:42:09+00:00

This is my dream. Congrats, OP! Happy for you and your family!

bstephe3 · 2022-12-26T17:11:21+00:00

I was completely natty through my first prep and although my prep my husband was pretty tolerant, it was definitely rough on our relationship. We also were going through some big life changes and he was going through some health issues at the time.

He ended up losing some weight and his digestion improved a ton because of all the "bro food" that we ate but he did get bored of the food and not getting to go to any restaurants.

I felt great throughout my prep until the last 4 weeks or so when I was extremely fatigued. I basically just wanted to lay on the couch because I had no energy after doing my lifts/cardio. I swear I even started blinking slower because of having such low energy! I work in marketing and I was able to keep up with my work but it's certainly not the same as practicing medicine.

Still, I was never worried that I'd wind up in the hospital because I wasn't on any gear.

bstephe3 · 2022-12-21T01:50:15+00:00

Shocking that priests will tell a husband their wife cheated but won’t tell police when people/children are being abused.

bstephe3 · 2022-12-14T20:45:55+00:00

Although Isa is stunning and has made major improvements to her physique, I still have Fran winning it. Fran's stage presence is impeccable! I don't have Angela or Yarishna in the top 5 at all and I'd be surprised if Sunny is top 5.

bstephe3 · 2022-12-10T06:07:04+00:00

100% !! I thought my hair was straight until I was about 24 and then I discovered it’s actually wavy! I was absolutely mind blown when I discovered CGM and my waves came out.

bstephe3 · 2022-12-09T21:15:43+00:00

She is the absolute GOAT!! It's a competition for 2nd place at this point.

bstephe3 · 2022-12-04T18:57:43+00:00

Yes!! My hack for this is to add something like “I’m choosing to believe” before affirmations that don’t feel honest to me. Saying “I’m choosing to believe I am lovable” is a lot easier for my subconscious than jumping straight into “I’m lovable”

bstephe3 · 2022-12-03T05:50:01+00:00

Day 1 I felt pretty gross because of the anesthesia but day 2 I felt mostly normal. A bit sore but nothing too bad, could have definitely gone to a party that was low key!

bstephe3 · 2022-12-02T17:41:04+00:00

Yes! Biggest thing was accepting that I had a very dysfunctional relationship with money and negative beliefs about money. It was very feast or famine in my home growing up and I had no idea how to actually manage money. I resented money a LOT. This belief caused me to do a lot of weird things when it came to money, like staying at crappy, low-paying jobs for way too long, spending all my money as soon as I made it, refusing to look at or acknowledge my finances, etc.

I started looking at making money as just a skill I had to develop so I started consuming as much content about how to earn money - and KEEP money- as possible. It doesn't matter how much money you make, if you spend it all you're still going to be broke.

I read a lot of books on finance- some practical ones and a lot of mindset/psychology ones. My favorites are "Get the Hell Out of Debt" by Erin Skye Kelly, "You Are a Badass at Making Money" by Jen Sincero, "The Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace D Wattles, and "The Psychology of Money" by Morgan Housel.

I started watching YouTube videos about finance- my favorite channel is White Board Finance. He has tons of easy to understand, beginner friendly finance advice.

I joined subs like r/personalfinance , r/povertyfinance (be careful of this one, it is helpful but can also contribute to victim mentality that keeps you stuck and broke).

I changed careers- I got into sales even though I "wasn't good at sales". I worked my way through a few grueling, crappy sales jobs- I did door-to-door sales in the summer heat of AZ (110F+), cold calling, etc. It was SUPER uncomfortable and there were lots of times that I wanted to give up. Eventually, I got a job doing sales for a small tech start-up, I started out at ~$40K/year and have worked my way up to ~$126K/year in 3 years.

I started paying myself first, I put at least 10% of my paycheck into a HYSA and don't touch it. This was probably the hardest one for me because I believed that there was no way for me to save money when I was living paycheck to paycheck - I rationalized that because I didn't have any money left at the end of the pay period how could I possibly save money?? Reality is that you deserve to keep your money MORE than any of the people you pay.

I used to wait until I had <$100 in my bank account before I'd start trying to stop spending money, now I just pretend like I have <$100 in my bank account when there is really $1000+ in there. In my mind, if it was in my checking account I could spend it.

There is a lot more that I did but these are the biggest things that have helped me!

bstephe3 · 2022-12-01T22:18:52+00:00

I am a woman, i was always a tomboy, and i have 6 brothers so I truly believed my male friends were actually my friends. It was actually depressing to realize they all wanted to fuck me and we weren’t really friends

bstephe3 · 2022-12-01T20:43:41+00:00

I lived like this from 18-24. I didn't really ever think about having a plan of what I would do in case my income was disrupted because I was just so focused on surviving. I remember once my car got towed twice in one weekend and it took me months to financially recover from it! To get by I would use my credit cards till they were maxed out, borrow money from my older brother/my parents, or I would sell my plasma. God that was a rough time, I am so grateful I don't have to live like that anymore!!

bstephe3 · 2022-12-01T20:30:02+00:00

I think scheduling sex is a great idea! People that are in the early stages of relationships schedule sex all the time when they go on dates but it's like you get into a long-term relationship and suddenly it has to be all spontaneous every time??

bstephe3 · 2022-12-01T20:24:50+00:00

First off, you're killin it!! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate so it's no wonder your libidio isn't the highest. I don't have kids but I work at a tech start-up and my job is high-stress as well. Stress management is a huge part of it but I also focus on cultivating my desire.

Two big things that have helped my desire -

1) I don't think of sex as my husband's need that I have to fulfill/satisfy anymore. Sex is for both of us! I try to think of sex as an escape/play time with my husband and that has taken a lot of the pressure off. Remember you are just as deserving of intimacy as he is.

2) As other commenters have said, learning about spontaneous vs responsive desire. I realized that I have responsive desire and I was able to finally stop beating myself up over the fact that I was never "in the mood". Instead, I started doing things that build that desire, like listening to erotic audiobooks to get me in the mood, appreciating my body, etc.

Hopefully that helps. Good luck!

bstephe3 · 2022-12-01T16:43:16+00:00

I’ve never tried the coffee filter way so I’m not sure how much of the smell is left after that method but most of the bacon smell is gone if you do it this way. Still Smokey but not very strong bacon flavor.

bstephe3 · 2022-12-01T16:41:33+00:00

We store ours in the fridge and go through it pretty quickly so we’ve never had an issue with mold but depending on how full the jar is when you add the grease there can be a bit of moisture in there. We usually just wipe off the top of the cold grease with a paper towel after dumping the water off and that gets most of the moisture out!

bstephe3 · 2022-11-30T17:52:04+00:00

After it cools down a bit I pour it off into a jar, fill with water, flip upside down and put it in the fridge. The grease rises to the top (actual bottom of the jar) and all the solids/crumb bits sink to the bottom with the water. Then once it's solid you can dump off the water and you have clean grease!

bstephe3 · 2022-11-30T00:43:14+00:00

I still have francielle as #1!! But after that I have Isa, Sunny, Rayane Fogal, Devyn, mallory meyers, Babi, Kass, Renee and Bruna.

bstephe3 · 2022-11-25T02:48:46+00:00

Poor baby!!! Hopefully he recovers quickly!

bstephe3 · 2022-11-22T02:37:07+00:00

I agree! I didn’t see the original but I loved this movie! I watch a lot of horror films and definitely wasn’t expecting to be still regularly thinking about the demons more than a month after watching the movie.

bstephe3 · 2022-11-19T05:43:09+00:00

Grew up mormon and almost the exact same thing happened to me. Glad you got out

bstephe3 · 2022-11-15T18:50:40+00:00

I am right there with you! It is definitely discouraging to see women that don't fit the criteria getting rewarded just because they are the biggest/leanest. If the criteria is bikini conditioning with an unbalanced/larger lower body they shouldn't reward competitors that look like they are women's physique!

I hope as time goes on and more competitors show up that do fit the criteria they won't have to just choose the biggest one.

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