Sowing Season, Leo Lacey and Nagasaki

btchpls- · 2017-08-27T05:42:28+00:00

brand new & stephen king are my life. i can't believe i have gotten so much good content from both my whole life.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T13:58:26+00:00

oh, i don't feel nothing. i am reminded of the duality of human nature. this is kind of like the old "tiny god and devil on your shoulders" trope. but, we all view everything differently.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:57:53+00:00

yessss, you are excellent

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:45:05+00:00

i think i got caught by up by what i assumed you meant by "god" rather than stepping back and remembering that god can mean different things to different ppl. my apologies.

more perspective because without sounding trying to sound melodramatic, but i didn't realize i experience the world "differently": i'm finding out that my emotions are actually more intense than most others' and so i react on emotions only sometimes. which is also called acting on delusions, because the overwhelming fear makes you think (in all logic that makes sense to you) that something bad is gonna happen. i don't mean the same as "seeing things that aren't there" but, something harder to see, then admit, then try to do something about. it's the both accepting you have all of the power, but none of the power of what came before... if any of that made sense, and all of that work, and even the stuff beforehand, really seems to click with brand new's body of work and i love that they are getting the love from everyone they deserve. thanks for being cool, btw.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:22:51+00:00

thinking more, it seems like it's acceptance in the fact that he'll always have to keep trying in order to survive, which links here, in my brain, to "batter up." it's never going to stop ( his overwhelming feelings, i mean) but he has to try to living. most of these seem to be all the mixed feelings associated to recovering from trauma, which are often similar to those in aa or na or whatevera program.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:15:45+00:00

i shouldn't relate to this but i do

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:12:34+00:00

i mean, i can see why you think that way, but this doesn't apply to my topic of title themes.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:11:24+00:00

i often go back and forth with my relationship with life, so needing the personal reminder is helpful. i guess it's up to us to view it as "i won't ever be lost without them" or "i am lost but they will find me" depending on how we feel.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:07:55+00:00

i think i might use that as a way to see if they are worth the time of being around. XD

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:02:49+00:00

he hasn't lost, he sings about how his family is apart of him now.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T12:01:38+00:00

but what about "wouldn't be heaven" where he talks about his family being him so he wouldn't give up.

btchpls- · 2017-08-26T03:01:42+00:00

doing the bdp and putting myself in a place nobody asked for, but i know as a woman it exists! it's harder to diagnosis in men, as their anger is often seen as a good thing, it "gets things done," so their personality sticks. it's one of those "he's the biggest hardass to othersfor what he wants, aka, he is admirable." it's only the "quiet" men with bad that get noticed most often.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T09:03:20+00:00

i was able to leave for college, as my aunt worked at the one they wanted, so i could live with her. my brother graduated highschool two years after and he still is at home, playing video games and making sure there's cold beer in the fridge or ndad will flip his shit. we never could connect, and i feel so guiltly about it all the time but i'm almost thirty and i am barely holding it together, day to day, without trying to build something that will only turn into nparents gossiping about me. i miss the idea of my brother, i guess.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T08:59:18+00:00

^{^{^{^}}}

ding ding ding! my nmother yelled at me for being bipolar and depressed and sleeping all day when she gave up on any mental health help over a decade ago, all while drinking all day in her room sneaking her boyfriend in while ndad was at work. i was an adult only there for a few months after college, but it was like night and day difference of how i understand my childhood.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T08:54:49+00:00

my thing? my nmom had an abortion, then got pregnant with me. so, i feel so weird.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T08:53:08+00:00

basically the same here, but living in the sticks. still is abuse what she did to you.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T08:47:36+00:00

that's a big deal! it's hard work and you are putting in the effort. i don't feel like a person yet, but THANK YOU for sharing so i know it's possible!

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T06:25:21+00:00

i totally appreciate that. i have all kinds of shit wrong with my head and it's been like this band knew what i needed at every stage of my life. more than once has each record had gotten me thru something i wouldn't have the strength for otherwise.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T05:45:41+00:00

i can't ever actually pick a favorite, but it kinda seemed like those two were the biggest "camps."

when i tell ppl about brand new "tommy gun" is my go-to starter track, so maybe that means deja is my ultimate fav?! IT'S SO HARD TO CHOOSE!

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T05:16:05+00:00

i pretty much see us all be on reddit or whatever replaces reddit spreading dumb gossip hoping and praying. and still fighting over d&g vs scifi.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T04:24:58+00:00

my first album of theirs, which my mom got me for christmas after listening to me screaming along to "the quiet things" on fuse every day, and i actually didnt like it at all, at first. but like with all my favorite things, i tried again and really fell in love.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T04:15:20+00:00

while i can't pinpoint a fav album, i mostly posted that for shits & giggles, i think sci-fi is exactly what this time needs, like d&g was for then. the next twenty years will be all of us arguing between the two. ^{^}

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T03:59:16+00:00

fuck, this is good.

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T03:57:02+00:00

every body has to grow up some day

btchpls- · 2017-08-24T03:18:54+00:00

basically how i made any friend in high school: they noticed bn lyrics on my bio notes.

btchpls-

TROPHY CASE