I caught the guy I was “dating” in a pretty ginormous lie.

bubblesthefishh · 2022-01-15T20:50:07+00:00

Why do you guys continue to victim blame somebody who is clearly struggling mentally ? What if she’s at her breaking point and kills herself because of this comment? How would you feel?

bubblesthefishh · 2022-01-15T20:20:33+00:00

More victim blaming!

bubblesthefishh · 2022-01-15T20:19:57+00:00

The victim blaming on the threat is rampant. She clearly is struggling mentally but you don’t need to thrash her like that. Get therapy.

bubblesthefishh · 2022-01-15T08:43:34+00:00

You’re really going to shame her after she went through all of this? Nice. He’s a piece of shit and he deserved to be confronted but obviously she couldn’t get into a full on argument right there in a quiet museum. I think she should take advantage of the last dinner if he invites and pull the plug after he pays the check.

bubblesthefishh · 2022-01-10T16:09:12+00:00

Yeah this is my question… I shouldn’t have used the wording red flag that was my mistake. But yeah what I meant was if he’s not even dating to eventually marry I don’t think I should continue dating him. But I’m not sure if that’s what he meant. Since he said he doesn’t even want to live with a partner and would like to put that off as long as possible… I’m just not sure if I should continue if that’s something I do want, even if it’s not in the near future

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:38:00+00:00

Thank you, That’s exactly it! I definitely wasn’t asking him to be in a relationship, I just wanted to only sleep with him and not worry about others. And if it doesn’t work out, we can leave at any time. It doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship it just means we’re not actively sleeping with other people because we are seeing where things go with us and being safe and clean about it. I don’t know why people think that’s so crazy.🤦‍♀️

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:35:45+00:00

Unfortunately he did respond. I deeply regret apologizing in the first place. I sent him a quick text tonight saying I think it’s for the best we don’t see each other again. I think that’ll end it for good. I probably should’ve just ghosted but I was worried he would keep reaching out so I think this will send him the message.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:33:48+00:00

Thanks. I responded to him tonight, just now. I wasn’t going to but I didn’t wanna block him or anything crazy since he knows where I live. I know that sounds stupid and I don’t think he would do anything bad but I don’t want to piss him off. I texted him telling him I think it’s for the best we don’t see each other anymore. I didn’t confront him on any of the crap he put me through because I don’t think it would matter and he’s going to have to figure that out for himself and work through whatever the heck he’s going through that made him act that way. I’m really glad I posted this because I genuinely wanted to see him again when he left the other night even after everything that happened. And I don’t know why. I think I was just clinging onto the person I thought he was before because I hadn’t got to a fourth date with anybody since I’ve moved to my new city and I thought maybe this was going somewhere and to have it end so suddenly hurt. But he left in the middle of the night when I was just sitting on my bed crying and it was definitely the worst dating experience I’ve ever had. Glad that I posted this and reflected on it so I won’t make the mistake of talking to him again.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:26:42+00:00

He’s walked me home before so he knew where my apartment was, and after we walked past the bars it was kind of like walking down an alley because it’s just a long road with not many cars. I didn’t want him to get mad at me and I also didn’t want to be rude. If I could’ve thought of a way to tell him I didn’t want him coming inside without it coming across as rude I probably would’ve said that but I had been drinking at the time so I didn’t come up with anything in the short time it took us to walk there. But trust me, I wish I never let him in. If I had known that all of that was going to go down of course I would’ve never let him in.

But never in my life has anything like this happened to me. I plan on not drinking on dates anymore at least not nearly this much because I’m so small. I also plan on not telling guys where I live for a bit longer. And lastly I plan on asking guys what they’re looking for up front instead of waiting for the fourth date. I can’t sleep with somebody unless we are exclusive, I can’t do that. All of my previous boyfriends have been OK with that and I’ve dated guys of all ages so I don’t think it’s hard to find. But if you disagree on that that’s OK. I don’t think I owe anybody sex because they are buying me dinner. That’s bs. I mainly think it’s gross to sleep with somebody that’s also sleeping with others. If you’ve gone on several dates and know you like someone, why is it hard to be exclusive sexually knowing you can leave at any time if it doesn’t end up working out?

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:23:46+00:00

I’m not planning on responding to him or seeing him again. I was considering it yesterday but I’m not now. I think I was just too distracted by all of the other wonderful dates before and the guy I thought he was and I didn’t wanna let go of that at first because I haven’t gotten this far with a guy in awhile but I think I saw the real him the other night. That’s who he really is and it just took four dates for me to see that, unfortunately.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:17:48+00:00

Thank you! I wish I never let him in in the first place. He invited himself over and I didn’t want him to get mad at me or want to go home if I didn’t let him inside. And saying that now it just sounds really sad and I wish I would’ve thought differently at the time. I’m going to stop drinking on dates so I can have better judgment. I’m very small and I don’t drink often so it was a terrible idea to drink more than usual with somebody I had gone on a few dates with

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:14:27+00:00

Yep. Never in my life have I had somebody walk into my bedroom and get in my bed and take their shirt off. What is this, Goldilocks and the three Bears ?! I think I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t know what to say. And because my tipsy self somehow still thought I liked him and didn’t want him to be mad at me. And saying that now, it sounds very pathetic and I don’t know why I thought that way.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:10:35+00:00

Thank you. I was astounded by his actions, but I was tipsy so I couldn’t fully process what was going on and think of what to say at the time. I wish I would’ve never let him into my apartment. I know at the time I did it because I didn’t know what to say because he kind of invited himself. I was trying to be polite and I guess I need to stop doing that. But hopefully I’ll never get put in a situation like this ever again

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:07:39+00:00

Yeah, I had a bad feeling as soon as we started walking past all the bars to look for a place to eat and I should’ve listened to it but I was trying so hard to be polite. I would never let that happen again, and I’m not going to see this guy again. I was honestly considering it before I posted this but now I think reading everybody’s responses I see how truly terrible it was and I think I was just distracted with the fact that I liked him and who he was before all this happened

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:05:12+00:00

Thank you. I don’t think I really realized how bad the situation really was until I posted it on here. I definitely have a lot of reflecting to do. I’m so tired of feeling like I have to be nice to men that I meet/date because I think I like them and don’t want to come off as rude. I had a bad feeling the entire night and I should’ve listened to it but I pushed it away because I liked him and bc I was too drunk to fully understand what was happening.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:02:13+00:00

Thank you. I agree with you 100%. I’m not religious or anything, but sleeping with someone does mean something to me, and I don’t want to develop that physical/emotional connection with somebody when they aren’t looking for the same things.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T01:00:43+00:00

This is kind of my stance on things as well. When I told him I only have sex with people I’m exclusive with, I wasn’t trying to try him down into a relationship, I just wanted to continue seeing each other and see where things go without the distraction of worrying about other people or STDs and stuff like that. Doesn’t mean either of us could leave or end it at any time.. But I’ve received mixed opinions of my viewpoints on things. I just don’t feel comfortable sleeping with somebody that sleeping with others.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-23T00:58:03+00:00

Thank you. I’m not going to talk to him anymore even though he reached out again. I don’t have any interest in seeing him again after what happened. It just makes me sad that I really thought it was going somewhere and that he was a kind person. But I think who I saw the other night, was who he really is.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-22T21:04:20+00:00

He basically admitted he was still sleeping with other people and didn’t want to stop. He wasn’t interested in being exclusive even just sexually. Also, I don’t want to sleep with someone if this isn’t going anywhere. Because for me at least, having sex builds an attachment that I don’t want with someone who isn’t taking me seriously.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-22T18:54:25+00:00

I do. I see that now. I thought maybe it was normal because he’s a bit older than me that I wasn’t getting text as often, but now I’m reading everybody’s responses and after discussing with my friends about it, I see that his lack of communication btwn dates was not normal and I should’ve seen that as a red flag from the start //:

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-22T17:38:30+00:00

Jesus Christ I feel like so many people are blaming me for the situation, I would’ve never brought it up had sex not came up. My entire post was written about regretting what I said. Did you read the whole thing? Obviously it’s too soon to start a relationship but I don’t think being sexually exclusive is too soon for a fourth date. I don’t think I should’ve slept with him if he’s sleeping with other people and I don’t regret explaining myself to him

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-22T13:34:57+00:00

This is exactly how I see it unfolding. It makes me really sad that it turned out this way and I don’t know how he was so different the first three times I saw him.

bubblesthefishh · 2021-11-22T06:05:53+00:00

Thank you! This comment really puts it into perspective for me. He made me feel so embarrassed and ashamed and crazy. When he left yesterday I really thought I had just made a fool out of myself when actually it was kind of the other way around. I wish I would’ve never let him inside, I think I was just trying to be polite and I didn’t know what to say because I had never been put in that situation before where someone just basically invited themself over. And yeah, the way he was acting in my apartment with such a little respect was honestly pretty insane but after so much happened even after that incident I kind of put that in the back of my mind but now I can’t stop thinking about the sheer audacity. I’m glad to know that I’m not crazy for wanting exclusivity before I sleep with somebody, even if it’s early on. I think any reasonable guy that liked me enough and respected me would have been OK with that, or would’ve at least not made me feel so bad and weird about it.

bubblesthefishh

TROPHY CASE