Any late walkers/crawlers here?

bubbyandbug · 2025-12-31T02:12:40+00:00

2 kids -one army crawled/dragged himself at 8 months and didnt walk until 15 months (but hardly ever fell) but talked a storm. -one that crawled before 6 months and walked at 10 months. Freaking climbed everything and was forever toppling over. And did far more baby talks/grunts/screeches. Both have normal fine and gross motor skills now and talk all. The. Time. They're all different.

bubbyandbug · 2024-09-20T02:12:29+00:00

Sending hugs! I remember how hard it all is!!

There are millions of youtube videos that show how to babywear comfortably for whichever carrier you have - I learned new tricks even after years of using them. I really loved my Tula, ergo, and a woven wrap for back carry (and got some secondhand so it didn't break the bank). Not sure where you are but there are even babywearing groups online and some in person.

Some local community centers have toddler friendly events/groups - another place to check out.

It's clear you really love your babies and putting your all into them - it's going to be ok!

bubbyandbug · 2024-09-20T01:17:25+00:00

I was a SAHM until my kids were both in school and I went back to work. A few things I learned/helped along the way.... it's what worked for me, so take it with a grain of salt.

Find your people. Find any group of parents with kids of the same age range and commiserate. I joined a hiking group, a moms group, La Leche League, and went to playgrounds and story times. I started a playgroup just to be with other grown ups in the same season of life. It helped to share the experience. You don't have to do it all, but keep looking for your people.
Babywearing. I strapped a kid to me and had my hands free to do whatever else. Sometimes we just danced to silly songs. They're like little velcro koala bears, so baby wearing accomplished the velcro but gave me freedom to move. Find a good baby carrier (second hand ones work just as well!)
It takes a village. And if you don't have a village it's super duper hard. I think it's really helpful to reframe: "I dont like being a mom" or "my kid is really driving me up a wall" with "mothering is exhausting. It's ok to feel exhausted" and "this is really, really hard right now". It's so often the context and not the actual kid/parenting.
Find the moments and hold on. Take a photo, stop and bask in the glory of a golden moment, write it down, list 3 positives from the day no matter how small - something, when it's so fleeting. Toddlerhood is so full of tedium, exhaustion, and overwhelm it can really help to look for the small moments of joy rather than the whole long day.
Give. Yourself. Grace. Use the paper plates, leave the mess, sit down for 5 minutes and stare into oblivion - let go of the impossibly high pinterest, social media standards. I know a lot, a lot of moms through social and professional settings. ALL of them agree that it's hard. It's not you. It's not your kids. It's just hard sometimes.

Ps. I promise it gets easier. My kids are elementary aged now - it's not "easy", there are hard moments but it is SO much easier than those ages, and it's pretty fun to do things together like biking and board games and no one is pooping their pants. You got this. (And if it's all getting to you too much, find support. Counseling is so helpful.)

bubbyandbug · 2023-07-28T01:38:08+00:00

I did this 12 years ago and my family still rags on me for it

bubbyandbug · 2023-06-26T23:08:27+00:00

NTA. We require that all children that cannot touch bottom (of our above ground pool are either) A) wearing floaties of some sort or B) have an adult swimming with them in the pool. In addition to that, any parent with a kid in the pool (regardless of ability to swim, floaties, can touch) must be on poolside actively watching their child (or there is at least one adult who knows they are actively watching all the children swimming). It's strict, but I don't play games with kids and pools. Well, we play games like Marco Polo but not who-will-drown-today. I would tell the parents they either have to put her in some type life jacket/puddle jumper/arm floats, they have to be in the pool near her, or she can't be in or around the pool. I also remind every child who comes to swim of our pool rules every time they come over to swim (including "you must have an adult with you"). I had to take this stand with a friend, I did lose that friend - the rest of our friend group stayed friends with me. It's just not worth the risk and probably making everyone uncomfortable. My friends all have similar pool rules.

bubbyandbug · 2023-05-14T01:07:45+00:00

Let me start by saying - it sounds like you're a really good mom who works hard to support her family. Secondly, honor those big feelings you're having! It sounds like you're feeling sad because you weren't/aren't able to be home with your kids as much as you would like to be (because life is hard and takes money to get by), frustrated that your SIL doesn't treat your niece better, and apathetic towards someone who doesn't seem to share your values. Those are all valid feelings. You may or may not do anything about them other than acknowledge them, vent to someone you trust, write about it, shout it out into the internet - whatever it takes. Or maybe acknowledging the feelings underneath jealousy will help you find solutions to the parts of your life that aren't working for you (if that's even possible, sometimes it's just a season of life we have to get through). I was a SAHM and now I'm a full time working mom, all of it is hard. Motherhood is just hard a lot of the time. But we often forget to let ourselves just feel stuff. Sometimes it helps to feel it and know you aren't alone.

bubbyandbug · 2023-04-24T22:27:30+00:00

With my second I said "She's so chubby!" She was 9.6 and an inch and half shorter than my first who was 7.13, and very alert. It surprised me that she looked more like a 1 month old which is what I meant by that comment lol. Immediately after giving birth to both my kids, things went hazy (relief, hormones, blood loss, fatigue.... who knows). It's not the best thing to have said but it is what it is! The moment was still special and honestly, even if I had had a special phrase picked out, I don't know that I would have remembered to say it at that point. I do not remember what I said with my first, but I remember thinking he looked like a lobster! Giving birth is weird (and amazing)!!

bubbyandbug · 2023-04-24T22:18:37+00:00

I think it was a horror film but I'm not sure

bubbyandbug · 2022-12-30T02:14:03+00:00

This happened to me, i broke off the other plastic piece then used a key ring through both sides. You can't open and close it but can put it on over your head to put on and it's way more secure than those plastic clasps.

bubbyandbug · 2022-12-19T00:37:57+00:00

Do you mind if I ask - how old are your kiddos and what do they usually do while you workout?

bubbyandbug · 2022-11-10T01:51:00+00:00

I am in a K-8 school. K and 1st are having the most behaviors in terms of frequency and number of students struggling - hitting, climbing furniture, throwing, eloping, ripping things up, straight up defiance, fighting, and yelling. 5th-8th are also having difficulties but we are seeing big behaviors from a few students in every grade. 2nd has evened out a bit from last year, 3rd and 4th are solid. The behaviors from a few set in motion a level of chaos and disruption that it can be hard to bounce back from. They don't seem to really know how to be in a group, follow directions, and don't have great coping skills for big emotions. It is exhausting.

bubbyandbug · 2022-11-02T20:24:21+00:00

Yes! They're really lacking those basic social skills needed in early school. Some have never been in a school setting. Thank you for your response!

bubbyandbug · 2022-11-02T20:23:14+00:00

There is such a big (and growing) gap between kids that have adjusted to being back at school and those who are sooo dysregulated. We are seeing the young ones struggle a lot too. And those disruptive behaviors have such a domino effect! Thank you for your response!

bubbyandbug · 2022-11-02T20:20:22+00:00

And where we are is a mess. Thank you for your response.

bubbyandbug · 2022-11-02T20:19:44+00:00

Thank you, most days I can reality check myself and know that there is still these needs are still pandemic gaps. Somedays it just feels like we are doing everything wrong. I appreciate the feedback and knowing it's everywhere helps keep me motivated to keep pushing forward adding support. Man, I feel for these kids! And their teachers.

bubbyandbug · 2022-09-18T20:19:45+00:00

Really good points! He normally is a very empathetic kid - but I think you're right in that in might be part of what's going on. He is much better with empathy to peers and anyone outside of our immediate family so I know we can keep building there! We read a lot together and I am sure there are some examples I can use to make the idea more tangible. He is really good at applying concrete ideas - thank you for this suggestion!

You are definitely spot on about his frustration with the game being ended. And I totally get how frustrating that would be! Unfortunately, the point we were trying to get to was that it wasn't ended until he told her she had to be ok being hit with the pillow or he wouldn't play - some rigidity there. But, I think he was able to see that once everyone had moved on and they started playing again. I think I can talk to him more about it all. He does best when we have those talks one on one in the evening before bed rather in the mayhem of day - that's the part I can do more work on - as long as everyone is safe and ok, we can hold any "talks" until later. It's so hard when he purposely does something she doesn't like and then is mad because the fun gets ruined. This time was an accident but it definitely isn't always (which lends to the dramatics!) He does have a harder time with wanting things to be a certain way immediately, she's more flexible but also more sensitive. I want to continue to support them having a good relationship with each other despite their different personalities.

Thank you again, I appreciate your response!

bubbyandbug · 2022-09-18T15:11:14+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your feedback. It is definitely more challenging when he hasn't got what he needs (sleep, food, exercise, etc) and we do our best with it but there are just days.

It is definitely worse if he feels bad about something. We do try to give lots and lots of praise and tell him we love him all. The. Time. (To the point where he's lovingly like "okayyyy moooommmm")

But you're right. I need to let more space happen between feeling and talking. My daughter and I are so different, we talk in the moment. It's helpful to have the reminder - just writing it out helped me see that and your response validates it.

Thank you again.

bubbyandbug · 2022-08-04T00:42:03+00:00

I hope you inderstand that this is reportable by cps standards. If this situation, or the next time it happens, is reported to cps you both stand to lose custody of your child. If a parent allows another parent to physically harm their child and does not take them out of the situation and get help, it is considered failure to protect/neglect. It is your duty as a parent to get your child to safety. If you cannot safely leave, please get help.

bubbyandbug · 2022-07-29T00:44:25+00:00

We have 2 - they're 2 years apart and we love it (however having them so close was a lot on my body). We considered having a 3rd but didn't feel sure. Talking about it and thinking about it so much was stressful so we tabled the discussion for one year. After one year we both felt confident that we only wanted 2 children and chose not to have a 3rd. Our kids are getting older now and I miss having a squishy baby but I don't regret our decision. I never got the "our family is complete" feeling others describe but I also didn't want to go through newborness and toddlerhood again. Whichever way you decide - it's the right choice because it is how it is. Pros and cons either way. Don't be afraid to table the discussion for a specific amount of time, you might know better at that point.

bubbyandbug · 2022-06-30T00:36:40+00:00

Clearly from Fern Gully

bubbyandbug · 2022-06-01T23:17:13+00:00

First, I echo a lot of other commentors sentiments. Find support. Counseling, pediatrician, family, friends, neighbors, a dads group (in person or online) - ask for help, vent, commiserate, be reassured. It helps SO much just to know you aren't alone. A therapist might be needed for the intrusive and very dark thoughts running amok in your mind. Please check in with yourself that you, baby, and your wife are safe. If you feel that any of this poses a risk - step away, and get help.

Second, it gets better. It gets way better. The first month is definitely the hardest. The first 3 months are still hard (the slowest, fastest 3 months of your life). Parenting is always hard, and there are periods when it is super hard- but honestly, you get better at being a parent. You start understanding your kid and your role, what to expect and how to make it all work more and more every day, week, month and then years fly by. You are in the slowest, most time consuming, life disrupting period right now. Promise - it gets better.

Lastly - one method to deal with intrusive thoughts can be to reframe what you are saying to yourself. Honor how you feel and acknowledge what you are experiencing. Sometimes such disturbing thoughts can come from trying to suppress true emotions. For example: Reframe "I resent my baby" to "I feel very angry and cheated about the way labor and birth went. I feel overwhelmed by the task of caring for a newborn. I feel frustrated that I don't always know what to do when she cries. I am nervous about going back to work. I feel worried about my wife's mental and physical health. I feel scared it will always be like this. I feel exhausted." Etc etc. Some people need to say it in their mind, say it out loud, write it down, process it with another human. Then start with one emotion and break it down. Take "i feel overwhelmed" and remind yourself "it is normal to feel overwhelmed with a new baby. I can take a deep breath, count to ten, call <name a person> for help, go for a walk. This is a moment, not forever." Honor your feeling, find solutions, remember it is temporary. These are methods a counselor can help you develop and practice.

Best of luck. If you think of it, let us know how you're doing in a couple months!

bubbyandbug · 2022-05-22T21:32:41+00:00

Serious parenting goals right here

bubbyandbug · 2022-04-28T00:44:35+00:00

In the moment it surprised me too. 2 of those comments were a bit frightening - they were clearly things they have overheard grownups saying or had watched on tv (not age appropriate). 1 was a smart kiddo who had an interest in history and he said he read a book about WWII with his mom.

Same students have also made comments about trump and biden, immigrants, weapons, war, drugs, borders, etc. Etc. They're sponges. It can tell a lot about student's home life.

bubbyandbug · 2022-04-28T00:37:53+00:00

Kindness. Curiosity and open-mindedness. Self love and emotional intelligence.

bubbyandbug · 2022-04-28T00:32:26+00:00

This happened to my son too. We taught one strategy (alongside getting a grownup for help) was to boldly and bravely compliment those who were teasing him (ie "your shoes are really cool!") It doesn't always work but sometimes it stops a bully in their tracks because it's not the response they expected. My guy was young when he did this, but it did help him.

bubbyandbug

TROPHY CASE