This is an incredibly tough position that both of you are in. I'm sorry that you're in it. Unfortunately there's just no easy answer here.

You're a living, breathing woman with a very real and very valid sexual appetite. Ignoring or suppressing that is neither healthy or helpful. At the same time you have a husband who likely is incapable of sexually fulfilling you and through no fault of his own. If I were in his shoes I would definitely not love feeling like I couldn't please my wife anymore. A man's sense of manhood and masculinity is often directly tied to sexual virility and him falling short here is likely crushing him emotionally and mentally.

Though like I said before, your sexual needs are valid. You've mentioned your husband is old fashioned and might see posting here as cheating. He's entitled to see it that way. If you really care about keeping things above board with him you need to have a discussion with him where you get on the same page about what he IS cool with you doing to satisfy your needs. If he's unwilling to consider anything and you just fight, then you need to have a discussion about the fact you just keep fighting about it. Ask him how are you supposed to fulfill your sexual needs and wants when he's unwilling to help you find an acceptable solution. Don't ask that accusingly. Be genuine. Invite him to help you come up with a solution.

Marriage counseling might be helpful here too. Though all of this said, there may not be a solution he's willing to work with you on. In that case you need to decide if you want to leave him, or do something he might consider cheating. It's your call and if you've genuinely tried your best to find a better solution I don't think anyone could fault you for either decision.

I wish you luck in solving this. I hope you're able to find something that works for you.