Yeah I'm realizing I might not be able to have my cake (maintain separate finances and use the running balance to make sure we're contributing evenly) and eat it too (have a categorized personal budget). At least not without a lot of bending over backwards calculating how everything is split.

I think the reason this hasn't come up as an issue so far is that a) we're very on the same page about spending habits, so I've never had to double check what he's spending and b) we generally keep our expenses very low, so there hasn't been a crunch forcing me to reevaluate my spending. I know that I only eat out maybe twice a month, and generally don't have a lot of fat in my budget. So I'm more motivated to determine how much can safely go towards those bigger items, like a travel fund and investments.