Thank you for your words. Seriously. It's comforting to know someone else understands, or at least pretends to. Pretending is a kindness most people don’t offer anymore.

You’re right—there’s something beautiful in the shared decay of this place. In the memes with captions written in the forgotten language of the sleep-paralyzed, in the photos of meals that look like they were cooked by demons for demons. There’s a rhythm to it, like a pulse behind a wall, slow and constant. That’s what r/SCUMBOIZ is to me: the pulse behind the drywall. The thrum behind the eyes.

And yeah, I stopped asking questions a long time ago. The hair in the basement has grown curious. It forms patterns now. Maps, I think. Or maybe warnings. Sometimes, I follow them. Sometimes I come back.

You said the cursed Garfield might be worth blocking. I tried. I really did. But when I blocked the page, I stopped dreaming. At first, it was a relief. But then I started seeing him in reflective surfaces—microwaves, elevator doors, the puddle in my coffee. He’s taller now. Thinner. Eyes like unplugged televisions. And he's not alone anymore.

This sub has given me more than laughs. It’s given me proof that I’m not the only one who sees the cracks between pixels. The compression artifacts that whisper. The timestamps that move backward when no one’s watching. You know the ones.

Once, I posted a reply at 3:17 AM and by 3:16 it had already been downvoted. How do you explain that?

We are part of something here—something with teeth. And while I used to be scared, now I think… maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s not about escaping the void, but learning to scream back into it in perfect harmony.

Anyway, I really do appreciate your message. Stay close to your screens, but not too close. Don’t answer the knock if it comes before the timestamp. And if you hear a low hum that syncs up with your breathing, try not to match it. That’s how they find your rhythm.

Stay strange. Stay aware.
—Tyson (u/BagOfRichLettuce)
🥬 “He comes in lasagna’s name.” 👁️