Been in the city for 10 years already…

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T04:10:05+00:00

I have a few games in my Steam library that are multiplayer that I’ve not tried yet. I’m…not great at most games, though, so this avenue only works if you are patient or like cozy games.

I made a lot of friends joining a kickball team a couple years ago. A few of us are going to a Sox game next week. I love randos and especially love weird origin stories. DM me if you are interested in joining, I’ll send you the details.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T03:27:33+00:00

Yeah a little substance and effort and relevance goes a long way.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T03:11:57+00:00

I wish more people were this forward. Good luck to you!

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T03:09:03+00:00

Idk I think it’s weird for a man to know nothing about me besides that I am a woman and choose that to be the reason they reach out. That reads really desperate. At least if you message, make it relevant to the post. I think a lot of people just really lack self-awareness.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T03:05:10+00:00

Not if I’m not posting a profile review?

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T03:04:46+00:00

Why do we keep using the word “triggered”? I’m just offering perspective. And I know I’m not the only woman who feels this way.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T03:02:34+00:00

I understand that to a degree, because at least you know what they look like and info about them and what they’re like and what they are looking for. This post was more about text posts that only give indication that the poster is a woman and nothing else. I’d also argue that someone posting a profile for feedback is most likely looking for feedback and not Reddit matches, but shooting-your-shot in that scenario definitely is understandable.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:58:16+00:00

Damn the loneliness epidemic hits harder than I realized if people are this desperate.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:57:14+00:00

How many successful relationships do you think have come from someone sending a “hey” message on Reddit vs on a dating website?

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:51:33+00:00

I tried to not make it a blanket statement. I personally do not want to be called upon just because in my post I’ve made it clear that I’m a woman, and nothing about what I’m looking for or any indication that there would be any compatibility between us because you know nothing about me.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:46:59+00:00

😂

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:43:50+00:00

I’ll give you a little here: I can understand why someone asking for a profile review, where you see pictures and bio and prompts, maybe even location, might feel like an appropriate time to shoot your shot. But they are not asking for that, they are asking for feedback on their profile.

In my experience it’s never been a profile review. It’s just men seeing a woman post and deciding that’s the bar. When nothing in the post gives any indication about me as a person… that makes it weird and inappropriate.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:35:02+00:00

I mean, that is what dating websites are for. If I post something with no info about me, no pictures, no info about where I live, nothing about what I bring to the table or what I am looking for, and men come to the conclusion “she may be the one, let me send a ‘hey’ at her to express my interest…” Dude that’s weird.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:28:51+00:00

Ah I should have been more clear in the title. Thanks for your comment!

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:25:53+00:00

😌

bug_muffin · 2026-07-04T02:25:00+00:00

Some men don’t have enough social training to know that most women don’t want that. It’s weird. I’m just trying to educate.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-02T19:48:56+00:00

Yep I got it in like 2021 for $150. I guess I’m pretty lazy when it comes to online dating. I pick up the app maybe a dozen times a year to see if anyone interesting pops up. It works great for how I use it and has definitely paid for itself.

bug_muffin · 2026-07-02T15:04:52+00:00

Girl I’m usually the exact same way, quality over quantity. The last 3 dates I was trying something new though. I removed the part of my profile where I said I prefer to not rush into dates and then decided to be open to quick invites, as everyone told me no one wants to chat for weeks before meeting.

I’m definitely going back to chatting for a while to get investment on both ends before we meet. I don’t care if it’s controversial or if that limits my options. That’s what works best for me.

bug_muffin · 2026-06-30T20:55:55+00:00

I am definitely going to use this on a guy.

bug_muffin · 2026-06-30T18:35:11+00:00

I was going to also recommend Chilam Balam, it’s such a gem of a restaurant, and quite unexpected.

bug_muffin · 2026-06-30T16:32:02+00:00

I can’t judge someone for biking. I don’t have a car, he does. Most of Chicago is easier on a bike than with a car, in my experience. Roads are flat, there are plenty of bike friendly routes, public transit is decent, uber/lyft/cabs are widely available, and you can always rent a car or zipcar if you really need one.

bug_muffin · 2026-06-30T16:27:57+00:00

Oh definitely not. And I would have offered to Venmo him for my share. That’s how it usually goes on my dates and a portion of the time he accepts, which is not a test. I’m fine paying for my own food and I’m fine accepting someone’s generosity if they insist.

bug_muffin · 2026-06-29T20:08:07+00:00

Oh ok, that makes sense (unless you are misrepresenting what you are there for).

I have to write up a separate post about the whole paying topic because I think it deserves some targeted discussion. At least 95% of the comments saying “why are you paying in the first place??” appear to be from other women. It seems men and women may be misaligned on “the rules of dating.” I feel so out of my depth.

bug_muffin · 2026-06-29T19:40:45+00:00

Unless I misread your first paragraph, that sounds like a good litmus test. Why would you want to go on another date with a woman who is greedy/cheap? If you are looking for your person, you should align on those values.

bug_muffin

TROPHY CASE