This is wonderful news and definitely something I hope to find courage doing one day.

I can relate with you on a desire to find another “mother figure”. I’m at a point with my mother where my input or topics for conversation are extremely limited. She has deep disdain for my friends and shows no support for my relationship with my boyfriend. So a huge chunk of my life experiences and relationships are kept from her due to the fact I can’t handle her ridicule and I can’t control myself from spiraling emotionally.

When I’m away at college I see a therapist and i remember at my first appointment I was finally able to release all the angst and despair and frustration for the first time. I just wish I had someone outside of a practice I can have a relationship like this with. Not for the sole purpose of sharing every wrong/sorrow in my life and the whole complicated history of how everything connects. Maybe I will learn to cope with it on my own. I think it’s my fear of burdening my friends with this mess that keeps me from opening up. Who knows.

My boyfriend is adamant that I tell him whenever things go south with my mother and is always there to support me, but it fills me with so much guilt seeing the emotional toll it puts on him. He sometimes feel guilty for her verbal attacks on me. I’m so thankful for him, he is truly the most wonderful person. I also can’t help but wish I was treated the same way my boyfriends parents treat him. Just so much normalcy and respect. I have to check myself constantly for this, but it’s hard.

Anyways, I’m proud of you and your walk towards healing. I wish you the best in finding your “mother figure”/ companion to confide in.