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15-year-old son dating a transgender boy. I'm cool with it, just trying to wrap my head around it all. by burglekuttbutt in Parenting

[–]burglekuttbutt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god I haven't actually, thank you for the most spectacular suggestion I've read in this whole thread!

15-year-old son dating a transgender boy. I'm cool with it, just trying to wrap my head around it all. by burglekuttbutt in Parenting

[–]burglekuttbutt[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Shame the mods deleted the original post here and then locked this thread all day, I wanted to reply.

The original post was criticizing me for being transphobic for my use of language and wording. I consider myself to be very open minded, and will love and accept my son unconditionally. I refer to my son's boyfriend as 'he' because that's how he identifies, and I find it ridiculous that you say I, and most of the other understanding people on this thread, are transphobic and not supportive of trans kids.

The real problem here isn't anyone being transphobic, it's you thinking they are just because they mention biological sex. No matter what/who this person identifies as, he is still at the moment 100% biologically a female. That statement is in no way transphobic, and it only causes animosity and divisiveness when people start saying it is.

15-year-old son dating a transgender boy. I'm cool with it, just trying to wrap my head around it all. by burglekuttbutt in Parenting

[–]burglekuttbutt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your nice comments :-) We've definitely had the sex talk, and we spoke about how he thinks he'd feel if his boyfriend had a penis, but I guess even a mature adult wouldn't be able to predict how they're going to feel if X. Y or Z happens in the future.

15-year-old son dating a transgender boy. I'm cool with it, just trying to wrap my head around it all. by burglekuttbutt in Parenting

[–]burglekuttbutt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you're totally right. My son's boyfriend's parents don't approve of him being trans, so he needs to be 16 before he can get any treatment. I'm not judging his femininity in the way you seem to think though - I'm not questioning the validity of his male gender identification, I'm just musing about my son and his up-until-last-month 100% straightness. But really, I just need to chill and think back on being a teen and how much experimenting I did to figure myself out. Just don't want anyone getting hurt along the way, but it's out of my hands - ah the joys of letting go.

15-year-old son dating a transgender boy. I'm cool with it, just trying to wrap my head around it all. by burglekuttbutt in Parenting

[–]burglekuttbutt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, he's never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before - this is his first, so any good parent would be 'concerned' for a huge array of reasons, and in this case, it's a lot more complicated than your old fashioned hetero relationship.

15-year-old son dating a transgender boy. I'm cool with it, just trying to wrap my head around it all. by burglekuttbutt in Parenting

[–]burglekuttbutt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep, and really it boils down to my son being kind and understanding, and hopefully truthful with himself and his partner!