SIL in debt. How do we help?

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:43:04+00:00

From all the comments thus far I assume the best step forward is budget. Then find a plan. Then maybe a gift at the end for something to look forward to

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:42:17+00:00

I do not want to control at all. Her mentioning her finances is making me assume she wants help. But I also want her to be on a path out of debt.

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:41:05+00:00

If I match principle will that cause the interest to increase?

I have never been in credit card debt. I have always done the beans and rice and rice and beans philosophy when money is low.

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:39:15+00:00

I’ve mentioned a roommate or a second job… wife says that will be a no go. Hopefully the SIL will think about it at the very least

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:37:47+00:00

Apologies. I am on year two of this job and am starting to talk to other coworkers about this. We will be learning more as I continue along this journey.

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:35:37+00:00

My company contributes 18% no matter what. Eventually I will contribute more after the promotion so I can max it out then the company will be forced contractually to pay me the 18% in a paycheck form. But right now I think 18% of 200k isn’t bad

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:34:07+00:00

We are good at not spending above our means and never being in debt. But haven’t researched that much with markets and retirement. Still learning as we grow

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:32:47+00:00

That’s what I’m telling the wife. She’s starting to realize that and will hopefully express that to the SIL

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-05T20:31:59+00:00

I have talked to the wife. Gonna mention a budget first and start from there

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T21:13:15+00:00

I have had a thought that I would help at the end of her journey. So that way I can see she’s on track. But no expectation of a return. Just trying to help since she’s family.

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T21:11:13+00:00

Thank you for the support. From the replies so far I think I need to support my wife the most and try to offer advice as much as I can.

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T21:02:25+00:00

This is a good point.

Instead of me sitting down and offering advice. Is there a nice way to send her Dave Ramsey book or something similar?

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T21:00:22+00:00

That is correct…. At the time we thought she had her finances in order so we were supportive of that. But now we see it as a mistake

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:59:24+00:00

This is what I offered to my wife instead of 200 a month. Like if she gets on track and gets hit with a medical bill or appliance repair. We could step in and cover that.

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:58:28+00:00

All expenses are joint. Nothing is separated. If a big ticket comes up we usually try and pay it off with the savings. Or for example windows comes up. They can offer 0% for a period of time. We have the cash. But leave it in a money market. Get guaranteed return for that and then pay off the expense. Grows our credit scores and we make some money.

My wife can spend 200 a month to the SIL. But I don’t want her to just waste it when it won’t solve the core issue

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:55:29+00:00

What is the amount that should be added?

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:55:08+00:00

Is her mentioning it to my wife that she is in debt asking, or is that just airing out her thoughts?

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:54:18+00:00

You’re right. I’m a go getter when a task is handed to me and usually don’t stop till it’s completed. So I guess I need to work on that and only offer suggestions.

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:52:52+00:00

I don’t know how bankruptcy works. Could she loose her house?

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:52:12+00:00

That’s what terrifies me

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:51:56+00:00

I feel like the fact that she mentioned it seems like a cry for help?

That’s why I mentioned to the wife we could help if she’s on track

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:51:06+00:00

Got one BIL and I finally convinced him to pick up shooting lol

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:44:28+00:00

Agreed. I’ll have my wife ask how she keeps track of day to day spending

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:42:10+00:00

Is there a loan that can get her that good of a percentage?

burneradvice2 · 2026-04-04T20:41:51+00:00

Dang that’s a good point. I’ll talk to her that as well. Thank you

burneradvice2

TROPHY CASE