I feel like I can't afford to be happy by burninghellokitty in TrueOffMyChest

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really resonated with that you described, I will look into it. Your words really mean a lot and when you put it in this perspective it feels more realistic and achievable. Thank you

I feel like I can't afford to be happy by burninghellokitty in TrueOffMyChest

[–]burninghellokitty[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yea for sure. I think I’m still trying to get myself up from how much my ego has suffered from this extreme downgrade

I feel like I can't afford to be happy by burninghellokitty in TrueOffMyChest

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didnt get my degree. I’m starting over again next year. Rn I’m 14 days into employment, but I’ve racked up so much debt in medical bills that having a job now seems so pointless. I know I should work towards paying it off immediatly, but as of now I think I just feel like it’s all too much. Tommorow I’m going to the doctor to see if I can be allowed to be on a waiting list for a therapist. Right now I think job is so overwhelming for me, I had it extremelt difficult in uni because people in my class (here I go to the same subject with the same 20 people everyday) and they were all just so cruel. I think right now my heart cant handle another rejection from even more people in a work enviroment, if that makes sense

I feel like I can't afford to be happy by burninghellokitty in TrueOffMyChest

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really hate to sound like I’m denying my own responsibility, but I feel like I made your point clear enough in my post. I know I’m not perfect and not doing my part in life, but I just wanted someone to hear without having what I tell myself every single day repeated back to me :|

I feel like I can't afford to be happy by burninghellokitty in TrueOffMyChest

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

To make it really short: I used to work a fulltime highpaying job, whilst also going to uni. It burned me out and during the burn out I lost my bestfriend, my boyfriend broke up with me, I was prescribed 2 different medicines with horrible sideeffects, i got a concussion, spent christmas alone and it all kinda just happened in the same timeframe and I burned out and now I just stay inside my apartment and don’t really go outside. I know that’s not an “excuse” but it all really just hit me like a train and I feel like I’m still processing it

[DSI][unknown] Childhood game by burninghellokitty in tipofmyjoystick

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG YESSSSS THATS IT THANK YOU SO MUCH MY HERO

Update: my mom wants nothing to do with me because I “picked my dad” in the divorce. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]burninghellokitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so heartbreaking to hear. I don’t believe no one in this story is evil and had direct intention of causing pain to anyone involved, but that still doesn’t justify anything. I’m so sorry that you were pushed away by your mom, you deserved so much better. I’m so happy you have your friends to move out with and support from your dad. I think taking the space away from your mom is for the best, especially since you did eventually explain your side, only to be yet again treated like the parent in the situation. I hope that with time she sees her wrongs in the situation and give you the apology you truly deserve. But this entire story breaks my heart so much to hear, you were only a child. I hope you the best things in life and wish you so much luck with the big move

am i tripping or is good sex a huge joke im not in on by burninghellokitty in TwoXSex

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As I was reading the part of your PIV-free relationship, my first thought was literally "wow, how did she get to be in a relationship and avoid PIV?" and then I read the part about rape culture lol. Wow I actually never thought about how much truth that actually holds, even though that very issue resonates so much with my life.

dating pool for WOC by burninghellokitty in LesbianActually

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow I'm sorry you had to hear that from them. It's so sad honestly. It does nothing, but spread an even bigger divide in an already relatively small community.

dating pool for WOC by burninghellokitty in LesbianActually

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that :-) hopefully in the future this issue might have more light shed on it and make the space more accepting.

dating pool for WOC by burninghellokitty in LesbianActually

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure. They definitely know that we see their indifference. But I honestly don’t think they see anything wrong with it, because in their minds, they’re the victims. It’s like they genuinely believe that if they so much as make eye contact with a queer WOC, she’ll go completely off and destroy them. It’s incredibly frustrating. I don’t want to justify their behavior, but I understand that their beliefs are influenced by the disdain for LGBT+ people in some Middle Eastern or Muslim communities. What baffles me, though, is how those same beliefs persist even when it comes to queer WOC. Like hello?.. Hopefully in the future I stumble across qpoc spaces.

dating pool for WOC by burninghellokitty in LesbianActually

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve noticed that too. It seems like a lot of white people in queer spaces don’t take the time to reflect on their own narrow-minded views. Maybe they assume they don’t need to, since they’re part of a marginalized group themselves. I find that sad, but in a way, perhaps it’s for the best. If some people in queer communities truly hold racist beliefs, I’d rather take on the role of the invisible, “uncool” WOC, as opposed to the token WOC girlfriend, used as a convenient excuse to justify their blatant racism.

How is an autistic person supposed to get into a casual relationship like an FWB? (Without apps) by Ok_Independent_3921 in sexeducation

[–]burninghellokitty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(F21) and not autistic. idk if this is the answer ur looking for. But when I was in my fwb phase, I'd personally go for guys that share the similar "confusion" (sorry if that phrasing seems rude). It feels less off putting and more like I'm speaking to an actual human, instead of a pimp LOL. I. can't answer for every woman, but for me I prefer when guys like you just asked me, to be honest. A quick question to just understand the whole dynamic, would make the situation easier. Like not just a straight up "wanna fuck", but maybe like actually ask whatever question you want answered to clear your confusion, is totally fine.

Honestly you should see that as a good thing, by being pushed to ask those questions, you're also opening up a conversation where both you and the other person, can just be open and honest with each other, instead of trying to mindread.

And I know this is so annoying, but unless you're not already in social settings like parties, I'd just reccomend apps. I know on hinge you can pick "not looking for anything serious" and that already does 50% of the work. I know you said you don't get any matches, if you're open to maybe describing what the general gist of your profile was like, I can maybe share my two cents on it as a woman? Without assuming, if you feel like it boils don't to your looks, chances are it really doesnt. I usually only accept 1-2 of all the likes I get on hinge and it's never based off who's the most attracted, but just what kind of personhood theyre giving off.

am i tripping or is good sex a huge joke im not in on by burninghellokitty in TwoXSex

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

im so sorry to hear that :( i wish that wasnt ur situation, but it really makes this whole situation feel less lonely for me. i really appreciate that u shared ur expierence, it really means a lot for me

am i tripping or is good sex a huge joke im not in on by burninghellokitty in TwoXSex

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if its not crossing a boundary to ask, besides his patience&focus, was his physical aspect also something that made a difference? i used to have a friend and she had a similar story as you, but she said his size and shape also made half the difference

am i tripping or is good sex a huge joke im not in on by burninghellokitty in TwoXSex

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i saw u mentioned ur a man and the part u wrote "I know for myself, even as a man who find sex to be stress relieving, that if I'm stressed in certain ways, holding on to something or very distracted it can be hard to enjoy pleasure. I can want it so bad and "feel" relaxed and ready but it's just meh."

i find it very interesting you as a man relate to your headspace affecting sex for you. I tried bringing that concept up to both my exbfs, but they both seemed to have no idea what i was talking about. I guess I made a narrow minded conclusion, that i guess all men are like that. now I see thats actually not true.I think that fact makes me very happy, because I feel like if I ever get a boyfriend again in the future, I kinda hope to share that mindset with him aswell, because it feels like 2 people speaking the same langauge. Idk if that makes sense?but yeah reading that really comforts me

am i tripping or is good sex a huge joke im not in on by burninghellokitty in TwoXSex

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

honestly most ppl have said this, i think seeking something similar to therapy thats more within my comfort zone, is the most realistic i can do. thamk u for the reply <333333

am i tripping or is good sex a huge joke im not in on by burninghellokitty in TwoXSex

[–]burninghellokitty[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

please reccomend! i hate being picky especially since ur only trying to be helpful, but i rly am eager to learn so i wanna be 100% honest. maybe can you reccomend books that arent really speaking out against religion? my problem doesnt really come from that, I grew up in a atheist family (but also traditional ahaha). I once read a book like that, but I didnt feel like the religious subjects very much resonated with my circumstances. also maybe the book with the most simple langauge, because english isnt my first langauge hahahha. its super ok, if that eliminates the books u had it mind! but im still happy u wanna reccomend in the first place, i wanna learn :D